u/___Supreme_Leader___

I know the caption sounds a bit crazy, but I’ve been feeling down cause of my dating situation.

I 20M have been always dreaming of committed monogamous relationship. I know some might say it’s naive or stupid or immature and that I should probably experiment, but I think I’d love to experience the so called “love”.

So my issues is that no matter how many guys I get in contact with only 5% end up talking with me after knowing I won’t sleep with them (instantly).

Then only 3% of those 5% end up going on a date with me.

Then with time I found out that the 3% actually don’t share the same views and they were just waiting for me to change mine and sleep with them.

This constant cycle of getting my hopes high and then being let down is kind of sad.

I’m nice, full of excitement and I’m kind. I like to draw and I love yapping and talking about various subjects.

I’m pretty I’d say. I’m even scared to post pics of how pretty I get called. I’m blessed down stairs bellow if you know what I mean. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that my love life is going south. It feels like I’m wasting my best years.

So as the caption says

Okay so basically I (20M) don’t know how to feel about it. Lately I’ve been noticing that I’m very attracted to men in the ages of 30-45. I guess the big issue is that through out my teenage years I’ve been badly hurt by men older than me so it’s kind of hard to come to terms with being very attracted to them.

I don’t know what exactly is the cause for this attraction but I know I’m a gay guy that’s into anything hairy,fit snd masculine.

The age imbalance or power imbalance itself isn’t exactly what I’m looking for since respect is the most import thing when i get to know someone, but physically I’m attracted to men of older age :(

I’ve seen a lot of tik tok comments saying how this is wrong, but I think I’d like to get it out here

Okay so the guy I went on a date with is SUPER nice. We live a bit further away from each other, but we take trips to meet one another half way.

On our first date he even lied to me that he needs to take the same train as me to spend more time with me. He rescheduled his plans to go on a date with me. He’s all in, but there’s just a tiny problem…

After my previous unsuccessful love attempts I’ve grown cautious when it comes to love. I take my time getting to know someone and I’m unable to fall head over heels after the first date.

I need my time, but I’m just scared to break his heart. I just don’t feel so hyped the way he is and I don’t know why. I see him going through all this trouble at our first stages of getting to know each other and it creates this pressure. The kind of pressure that makes me feel like I NEED to kind of agree to be his “love” even tho I’m still very unsure of everything.

I’ll be going on our second date and due to this pressure I’m just hoping that something will strike me and I’ll be able to be just as hyped as he is. I’ve told him about my feelings and thoughts, but he says “it’s fine I want it”, but I don’t known :(

P.S this might sound stupid but I’m freshly 20 and very stupid so bare with me

So basically some context. I used to date someone let’s call him Bob. Me and Bob broke up kind off on bad terms cause I was very hurt by Bobs actions. Me and Bob were very close so it hurt a lot.

Lately I’ve been noticing that even when I’m approached I’m so mean. Like my first initial responses. I wasn’t like that before and I feel so awful about it, but I just have so much sadness and rage inside I don’t know how to deal with it without hurting others and myself.

During the break up talks Bob even mentioned how my demeanour became so cruel and cold and that he has never seen someone switch like that.

I feel so awful :(

Okay so basically I 20M exchanged like few messages with M30 on Grindr.

It wasn’t like full deep conversations, but we made sure we had the same goals and decided to switch apps.

As we switched apps I started to ask simple questions like “what’s your name ?” Or “how old are you?”

He then blows up says something like , oh you should know how old I am based on my profile.

I respond to him saying that I get dms from at least 20 profiles a day. Most of them are blank and conversations lead nowhere, so I don’t remember personal stuff, if it’s not mentioned in an app, where I want to get to know someone more personally.

He gets all angry claiming he doesn’t want to mess with someone like me and be in a competition.

I’ve tried to explain to him that it’s not like that and that it’s normal to have multiple people approach you if you’re on a dating/hook up app.

I’ve been left on delivered and full on ghosted idk I feel bad 😭

So today I went on a date with this guy who I’ve known for quite sometime. We get along really well and I find him cute and I assume so does he, but I’ve approached the topic of asking me out (to be a couple)

Well to shorten it up, we can’t be a couple, cause…well multiple reasons. No shade towards his reasons, but I just feel a bit hurt cause the moment he approached me I’ve made clear under what conditions and circumstances I’d allow him to get close to me. He agreed to all of them. A relationship was one of them, but based on one of his reasons, I understood that it might have never been in his plans to begin with.

I’m quite upset, but at the same time I have to be and look “okay” to my family. They don’t know what’s up and who I had hoped to date. So how do I deal with it ?

So for a bit context, me and him live in different countries, so we talk purely online.

He has a bf, but he expressed multiple times that if he wasn’t still studying and sharing his flat with his current bf he’d date me.

He tried to break up with his bf, but he was served “I’m gonna leave and you won’t be able to finish uni” type of thing so idk

He told me only later that he has a bf (after I caught feelings), but I told him that I can still talk to him and keep contact only if it’s not gonna be sexual. I told him if he wants to continue seriously he’s has to man up and end things before starting something new.

He accepted my terms and we’ve been talking purely platonically, so basically about : video games, history, linguistics etc.

Am I awful ?

So I 20M have been trying to find myself a boyfriend.

I’ve been present on dating apps and on social media. I’ve been trying to build connections through friends, but little to no success.

It’s hard for me to grasp why it’s so hard to date when I have hobbies, interesting stories to tell and I know it’s not my looks, because I’d even be bold enough to say I look above average. So why ?

I’ve had a few attempts at initiating a date, but I’m not a very ONS type of guy and therefore my dates end up never happening. I mean I was wondering maybe that’s the problem? But it’s just so hard to open up sexually to strangers😅😭

Just the other day I was refused a date cause I didn’t want to fuck 😭He said “if I don’t get to hit why would I get you ice cream” 😭😭😭

So I and this guy , who we’ll call Bob , have been in an unofficial relationship or so to say a situationship.

We get along perfectly and we always talk to one another, both in a flirty and platonic way.

The both of us have talked about what we and and expect out of this relationship and our bond now is the outcome of mutual agreement.

It’s been a year and a half since we met , but he still didn’t ask me out.

I know he’s a bit shy and nervous cause his previous relationship ended in a betrayal, but he never really talks about it. So I assumed it’s the reason we’re not officially together.

After sometime I started asking him out , but I was told “you might change with time and have a different opinion about what you want” or “try stuff with other guys” , but when I do he gets mad and jealous and says that I shouldn’t do it.

So basically “don’t be my boyfriend and do stuff with others , but you’re not actually allowed to do stuff with others or else I’ll get angry”

I’ve tried to end things, but I was told to not cause im “the best thing” that ever happened to him…

I’m just so confused. I really like Bob , but I’m afraid to be lead on. What should I do ?