u/_sashabeing

I have virtually no privacy right now. Writing this while a fam member still in the room. sorry if chaotic!

Trying to keep simple as possible: I did a fitness/wellness spot recently where i had to wear these really freakin small shorts in front of a crew of older men and make this health snack and they filmed me. first time doing something like that and jesus god it was so intense and like I keep thinking about it all the time. In my brilliance, I posted the spot on my page a day before going on vacation with my family and i keep getting notifications from men talking about my body and ass in the video and fuck me its soooo flattering and overwhelming and just god its a lot -- and all while I'm im literally around family 24/7 right now.

I'll literally be talking to my grandmom about her freakin cats when I get a notification from a man talking about how much my ass is on display for the world. its making my head spinn like an idiot

I'm not def not compliainging. like at all. Not tryign to make it sound that way. Just need to vent about it bc I have no privacy rn and so much of my mind is thinking about you men seeing me in those little shorts and wondering what yourre thinking about me right now and i just need express all of this somewhere or i feel like i might lose my head

Im realizing how chaotic this post is. sorry!

Sorry for this being so chaotically written. I'm with fam on vacation right now and I'm trying to get this in while I have a brief moment without fam like over my shoulder.

Very long story short, I modeled for a fitness/wellness spot recently and got sent back the spot a recently. I talked about it in a prior post but I think (and a lot of you confirmed) that I let myself get objectified in it. They dressed me in this very very short little red shorts and filmed me make a health snack. It was a mixture of exciting and intimidating and intesne af. I talked about it before so don't want to repeat myself but jesus it affected me a lot and still is i think. EITHER WAY! They let me keep the shorts and like an idiot I took them with me on vacay with my family/extended family bc I don't know I just wanted them near. I'm not wearing them around my family, but I did decide to wear them to bed last night and I don't know -- I guess I just wanted to feel them on me again -- I dont know exactly why I did -- I keep getting notifications from guys on here about the spot and my butt while i was with my fam and commenting about my body in the shorts and I don't know I just wanted to wear them.

I know this post is so chaotic rn Im sorry!! What I'm trying to get to before family walks in agian, is that last night I was like wearing them in bed and I could feel the sheets on the parts of my skin that are exposed bc of how short the shorts are. Like when I would turn over I could feel the coolness of the sheets on like half of my butt cheeks bc how freakin short these goddamn shorts are and it just kept reminding me about short they are and freakin tight and how I wore them for the shoot around older men in normal clothes and how the guys on set kept looking at me and i could feel there eyes and it was so intense and flattering in the same moment and I keep thinking about how the spot is just up on my page and strangers are looking at my ass while I'm asleep or like trying to sleep.

This post is such chaos. I'm sorry. I just needed to vent. Feel super on display rn. Not complaining just like ahhhh feeling a lot rn! and I'm around family pretty much 24/7 while on this vacation and I think I'm losing my mind LOL

so how are you?

I've been working really really hard on my body for over a year now. I know it's weird to say this, but I've had this really big desire to have a body that makes men go a little crazy. Not sure why it started but it's been this big thing for me lately. I feel like I sound really vain and vapid saying that, and I'm kind of embarrassed admitting it, but it's just this thing I feel a lot.

What ever my insanity is, it led me to making this whole pitch to be in a fitness/wellness spot that a friend of a friend (of a friend) was putting together. I sent like all these workout clips and kind of begged in emails lol. some of the emails I sent, my god I sound insane, it's embarrassing. But they said yes!

I'll spare the details so this doesn't turn into a book, but I did the shoot. I'm still like trying to process it all I think. Overall, it was amazing. I felt like really hot in it. And I know that's a vapid thing to say, but it just felt so good to be like hot and to like FEEL that energy from the men on the set. That being said, I was intimidated af the whole shoot lol. They dressed me in these shorts that were so freakin small. Like SO freakin small. Like my butt was halfway exposed and jesus they were snug af. And I was so nervous in them at first, just like being in them on set, around all the men and like knowing I was being recorded in them. Maybe I'm being dramatic about the shorts, but they felt so short and were so tight. Like I love them, but it was intense in the moment wearing them around a bunch of men older than me who were like in normal chill clothes. I dunno, it was just very like intimidating -- I don't know if "intimidating" is the right word because I feel like it implies something negative. It was just very intense. Until I get a better vocabulary, I'm going with "intense" lol.

But yeah, they sent me the spot and if it was wild shooting it and it was equally wild seeing it (maybe not exactly equally but close!). Like...that's me...in THOSE shorts and like just...ahhh. I dunno, it's kind of crazy to see. Watching it, I think maybe I let myself get objectified a little bit. But I'm also like so proud of myself. So maybe I was objectified but not necessarily in a bad way? This probably sounds ridiculous but I keep thinking "omg I'm hot enough to be objectified!" lol I dunno, maybe that's an insane thing to think. But yeah, it was wild to watch back and watching it now def reminds me of the feeling of being on set again, which was wild to experience. I do feel like I look nervous in it at points in the spot but hoping I can do more and I'll get more comfortable with the attention. I did pin the spot on my pg if u wanted to see

Sorry this post is kind of rant now lol. I think I needed to vent a little bit. Def happy with the spot, just like wild to see and even more wild to do. Thx for reading my random rant lol

ok as you were ppl thx!

I've been working really really hard on my body for over a year now. I know it's weird to say this, but I've had this really big desire to have a body that makes men go a little crazy. Not sure why it started but it's been this big thing for me lately. I feel like I sound really vain and vapid saying that, and I'm kind of embarrassed admitting it, but it's just this thing I feel a lot.

What ever my insanity is, it led me to making this whole pitch to be in a fitness/wellness spot that a friend of a friend (of a friend) was putting together. I sent like all these workout clips and kind of begged in emails lol. some of the emails I sent, my god I sound insane, it's embarrassing. But they said yes!

I'll spare the details so this doesn't turn into a book, but I did the shoot. I'm still like trying to process it all I think. Overall, it was amazing. I felt like really hot in it. And I know that's a vapid thing to say, but it just felt so good to be like hot and to like FEEL that energy from the men on the set. That being said, I was intimidated af the whole shoot lol. They dressed me in these shorts that were so freakin small. Like SO freakin small. Like my butt was halfway exposed and jesus they were snug af. And I was so nervous in them at first, just like being in them on set, around all the men and like knowing I was being recorded in them. Maybe I'm being dramatic about the shorts, but they felt so short and were so tight. Like I love them, but it was intense in the moment wearing them around a bunch of men older than me who were like in normal chill clothes. I dunno, it was just very like intimidating -- I don't know if "intimidating" is the right word because I feel like it implies something negative. It was just very intense. Until I get a better vocabulary, I'm going with "intense" lol.

But yeah, they sent me the spot and if it was wild shooting it and it was equally wild seeing it (maybe not exactly equally but close!). Like...that's me...in THOSE shorts and like just...ahhh. I dunno, it's kind of crazy to see. Watching it, I think maybe I let myself get objectified a little bit. But I'm also like so proud of myself. So maybe I was objectified but not necessarily in a bad way? This probably sounds ridiculous but I keep thinking "omg I'm hot enough to be objectified!" lol I dunno, maybe that's an insane thing to think. But yeah, it was wild to watch back and watching it now def reminds me of the feeling of being on set again, which was wild to experience. I do feel like I look nervous in it at points in the spot but hoping I can do more and I'll get more comfortable with the attention. I did pin the spot on my pg if u wanted to see.

Sorry this post is kind of rant now lol. I think I needed to vent a little bit. Def happy with the spot, just like wild to see and even more wild to do. Thx for reading my random rant lol

ok as you were!

I've been working really really hard on my body for over a year now. I know it's weird to say this, but I've had this really big desire to have a body that makes men go a little crazy. Not sure why it started but it's been this big thing for me lately. I feel like I sound really vain and vapid saying that, and I'm kind of embarrassed admitting it, but it's just this thing I feel a lot.

What ever my insanity is, it led me to making this whole pitch to be in a fitness/wellness spot that a friend of a friend (of a friend) was putting together. I sent like all these workout clips and kind of begged in emails lol. some of the emails I sent, my god I sound insane, it's embarrassing. But they said yes!

I'll spare the details so this doesn't turn into a book, but I did the shoot. I'm still like trying to process it all I think. Overall, it was amazing. I felt like really hot in it. And I know that's a vapid thing to say, but it just felt so good to be like hot and to like FEEL that energy from the men on the set. That being said, I was intimidated af the whole shoot lol. They dressed me in these shorts that were so freakin small. Like SO freakin small. Like my butt was halfway exposed and jesus they were snug af. And I was so nervous in them at first, just like being in them on set, around all the men and like knowing I was being recorded in them. Maybe I'm being dramatic about the shorts, but they felt so short and were so tight. Like I love them, but it was intense in the moment wearing them around a bunch of men older than me who were like in normal chill clothes. I dunno, it was just very like intimidating -- I don't know if "intimidating" is the right word because I feel like it implies something negative. It was just very intense. Until I get a better vocabulary, I'm going with "intense" lol.

But yeah, they sent me the spot and if it was wild shooting it and it was equally wild seeing it (maybe not exactly equally but close!). Like...that's me...in THOSE shorts and like just...ahhh. I dunno, it's kind of crazy to see. Watching it, I think maybe I let myself get objectified a little bit. But I'm also like so proud of myself. So maybe I was objectified but not necessarily in a bad way? This probably sounds ridiculous but I keep thinking "omg I'm hot enough to be objectified!" lol I dunno, maybe that's an insane thing to think. But yeah, it was wild to watch back and watching it now def reminds me of the feeling of being on set again, which was wild to experience. I do feel like I look nervous in it at points in the spot but hoping I can do more and I'll get more comfortable with the attention.

Sorry this post is kind of rant now lol. I think I needed to vent a little bit. Def happy with the spot, just like wild to see and even more wild to do. Thx for reading my random rant lol

ok as you were!