u/anexistingbee

being a stone top, only certain things work in my favor as far as pleasure and noises are HIGH on the list. and oh my god when i say her noises are the most pretty i’ve ever fucking heard i’m not kidding. the way she breathes sometimes is enough to get me going, much less when she’s moaning “daddy” while riding a dildo and saying she wishes it was me.

my brain goes into a frenzy and my body reacts without fail every. single. time. i knew my ears were sensitive but i didn’t know they were this sensitive? she turns me on from across an ocean.. over phone calls because that’s what we have right now but it feels like she’s right next to me and i just lose all sense.

i need to be the one touching her and making her feel good so i can be the cause of the pretty noises… i need to learn how to coax them out of her even though i know it would be so easy. she’ll call me cocky for that but i don’t care, i know i could do it with just one touch. i’m yearning and i already need to hear her again. i need her noises injected into my veins..

cw: weed, sadism, biting, oral fixation rambles, blood/bleeding

i smoked too much. i know this because im usually light and goofy, and tonight i am feeling sadistic and insatiable and all i can think about is you.

if you saw my last post you know i’ve got a killer oral fixation that’s only made worse when i smoke. the more i smoke = the more my mouth wants to be busy.

i started by smoking and watching a jenn video on youtube outside. i may have laid down on the deck and looked at the stars .. pulled on my pen too many times.. and here i am. an oral fixation fit for a princess and not one in sight to use it on. so my mind gets busy, and..

i want to bite you. i want to bite your so hard that my teeth break skin. i want to bite you, make you bleed, then lick the blood.

i want to suck on your gorgeous boobs and make marks that won’t disappear for weeks after. i want to kiss you until my lips are swollen and bruised. i want to feel your tongue on mine because for some reason the thought of that happening while i can feel every nerve ending in my body sounds.. appealing as fuck.

i want to know how your skin feels against mine, i’m sure it’d feel just right, i’m sure i would be stuck on the sensation for hours. letting you sit on my lap with only my boxers between us so i could feel everything. laying down on my back and having you lay on top of me.. while i suck on your fingers.. because let’s face it i am still high out of my mind.

i can almost feel you here, your weight on my legs, your.. hair brushing against my cheeks and making a secluded curtain around us as you lean over me, your chest against mine. i’m sure i could feel your heartbeat, i can feel mine everywhere.

my mouth is so dry, but i can’t stop nearly drooling over the thought of any part of your body in my mouth. god i need it so bad. i need you so fucking bad.

we clicked on pretty much every level from the first time we spoke. conversation was easy, i felt seen, my boundaries were respected and loved, every kink i brought up was reciprocated. she’s gorgeous and much too good for the situation she’s dealing with now. i got to be a part of a handful of people who saw certain parts of her body and those images are burned into my brain even though i don’t physically have them anymore.

distance sucked, other things sucked worse, and now i’m finding myself missing her. i can’t escape even in my dreams because she is there. every dream, full of sex and mushy stuff and everything we talked about doing together. i’m almost wishing for recurring nightmares at this point so that i don’t see her face or hear her voice. idk what to do. i don’t think i’ll be open to finding someone else any time soon and i don’t think i even want to. maybe that’s pathetic of me idk.

cw: weed, being high, oral fixation

whenever i smoke, i feel like i need to be doing things with my mouth. either biting down on or sucking on something would fix me. i need to bite her neck and chest, mark it up so that everyone knows she’s mine. suck on her pretty boobs, or my fingers after they’ve been inside of her, or her fingers after they’ve been inside of her. i’m insatiable and even when high, she stays on my brain. will probably fall asleep with my fingers in my mouth..

i’m a stone top & i feel like most women i meet and talk to always have some sort of ulterior motive to make me not stone?? like, they think if we talk enough i’ll let them touch me sooner or later and that’s just not how it works. it’s such a turn off and i wish my boundaries were just understood and respected from the beginning. it’s not a trust thing, it’s not something that goes away with time, and i don’t want to feel like i’m expected to change bc they want to be “more intimate” with me? it’s frustrating and it sucks.