I still want an affair when nothing is wrong at home.
I’m in a marriage that is genuinely good. My wife is a wonderful partner, and we’re raising our daughter together. There are no major issues at home.
And yet I still find myself thinking about having an affair.
I’ve had relationships before marriage, and I did not enter marriage unwillingly or under pressure. I chose it and initially intended to be fully faithful.
At some point in the past, I crossed boundaries I shouldn’t have, and that became part of my history.
What confuses me now is that the craving hasn’t disappeared, even though my marriage itself is stable and meaningful. It’s not driven by dissatisfaction at home.
It feels more like a pull toward novelty, secrecy, and emotional intensity. I also don’t experience strong guilt in the way many people describe. I understand intellectually that cheating causes harm and would be unfair to my wife, but emotionally my struggle is more about temptation than remorse.
I’m trying to understand what this says about me.
Is this novelty-seeking? A personality trait? A mismatch with monogamy? Or simply the human tendency to desire what is outside our current life even when we value what we already have?
I’m not looking for validation or judgment.
I’m genuinely interested in whether others have experienced persistent attraction or craving outside a stable relationship, and how they dealt with it over time.