My journey so far
Hey all, this has been a wild year and I just wanted to put my story down here and see if any guys are in a similar space but also to provide some love for anyone else who may be going through something similar.
To start, I’m a 44m married and have only been in straight monogamous relationships. I’ve been married a LONG time. I’ve always had a very queer sexuality in terms of what turns me on and how I feels when I’m in a sexual mood. I rarely watch “straight” porn - favoring bisexual, sissy, trans, and increasingly MM gay porn. All that said I am also very much attracted to biological women and have not had any sexual performance issues in any relationship.
Last year my long time partner had an affair. Over the last several months we have separated, gotten back together and separated again.
During our times separated I’ve been exploring my queer sexuality more. Mostly choosing and sexting on Reddit but also wearing more women’s underwear and exactly loving myself more - more anal play, more oral stimulation with toys.
I absolutely fucking love it but haven’t fully committed to anything in person and may never but I am very happy having opened up this other side of me. Before it was just something I explored while jerking off or getting turned on but lately I think about non-straight relationships more and fantasize outside of the horny times more.
I love showing off, accessing my deeply sexual side and getting away from the cis straight male version of me that’s been there for so long
My spouse and I are still trying to figure it out but I am also very much into keeping this part of me and continuing to see where it goes.