it feels so good to need permission
it started out with needing permission to cum, then to ruin, then to edge, then to touch. sometimes i’m allowed to touch my clit, sometimes only light strokes on the outer lips are allowed. now every step requires permission and it makes the submission feels so much more delicious. each time he says yes, even just to be allowed to touch, makes me feel so grateful. i remember when i used to say thank you for being allowed to edge bc it’s the polite thing to say, to now saying thank you bc i genuinely feel the bone deep gratitude when im allowed to even edge as if i was given permission to cum. when that shift happened everything finally clicked for me.
i love it when im allowed to touch but not to edge, where i can only lightly touch my clit but knowing that whenever it starts to feel good and tingly i’d have to stop because i don’t have permission to edge.
knowing that something as simple as reaching the edge is off limits without explicit permission only serves to make me even more sensitive and desperate. even more so, knowing i can also get incredibly soaked without touching at all makes me feel so good and useful, and only further reinforces the fact that i deserve and need no relief except for what’s been given to me.
the more stages of relief (touch -> edge -> ruin -> cum) i’m denied, the more denial i crave, the longer i wish to be not allowed to cum, and more i crave to offer up my body as a toy for pleasure with little to no relief of my own. somedays i crave for daddy to take away my clit and pussy by numbing them and fuck me in the ass instead. there is a relief in not having to worry about my own pleasure too, and only having to focus on being good and needy and useful.
i prefer they/them and gender neutral terms pls :))