Any sex alternatives other than bjs and hjs?
Me 32m and my partner 30f had a talk about the lack of intimacy we’ve been having. I want to be intimate more often, and at some point, she seemed to stop initiating things like cuddling, kissing, touching me pretty much in any intimate way, and it became concerning to me, so I wanted to understand why. The two big things that I learned from the conversation was she stopped initiating non sexual acts of intimacy out of fear it would lead me on when she doesn’t want sex, as to not put herself in a position to either have to reject me, or do it when she doesn’t want to, and risk building resentment towards me. While it sucks a bit because the result of that was me being left feeling unwanted in desired in an otherwise happy relationship, I can also understand, I know not everyone has the same drive. My best solution was to reaffirm her that I will not let her doing some of those things make me expect sex, and we’re gonna work on that.
The other part is where it gets tricky. I also brought up maybe not having to have full on sex all the time, and doing smaller things more often. Granted neither of us are really into getting or receiving head (as a guy, I know im in the minority there lol) however, I really, really enjoy hand jobs. This is where we ran into a road block, because without going into detail, she unfortunately has very serious past s/a trauma that makes handjobs and blowjobs a trigger. When she opened up to me, I was heartbroken to hear the details, and honestly made me feel awful for every time I hinted or straight up asked for a handjob, or her to even just touch me. So while that’s something I personally want to receive, I have no expectation or plans of asking her to do that anytime soon, and want to give her the space to try and resolve some of that in her own time and with therapy, which she said she would do, because she was very understanding of my needs and was sincere in saying she wants to meet them better.
So with probably way too much background, I now ask, any suggestions or creative solutions or sexual acts I’m not thinking of outside of PIV, Hjs and Bjs? Only thought I could think of is maybe cuddling/spooning with underwear or pajamas on, with some light thrusting or like dry humping. I brought that up to her and asked if that would make her uncomfortable in anyway, but she genuinely wasn’t sure and was open to trying. It might be kinda sad, idk lol, but I get horny pretty easy, and am so attracted to her, I could probably get off doing that. But any other ideas would be greatly welcomed and appreciated! Only thing to keep in mind and she’s not gonna be into anything freaky deeky haha! Thanks
In advance fellow redditors!