TL;DR: girlfriend wants me to start paying routine bills that her family wants her to pay. She wants a partner that provides financially, but I dont want to help too much right now since relationship is kinda premature.
Me 44m, her 21f. Have been seeing each other around 3 months in long distance relationship. We made things official around 2 months ago. I started helping her pay some random tickets and car repairs and now I think she is going to ask me to pay for her car registration and insurance....
She works part time...and her parents pay for everything. They want her to start paying for things related to her car....hence why shes been asking me.
When I visit, of course I pay for everything like dinners etc. It also costs me several thousand dollars in travel each time I visit. I visit like 2x a month. Ive given her several gifts since knowing her, like $200-300 each. We're planning a couple trips this summer that will likely cost me 10K or more each trip.
I make good money and none of these things are going to break the bank. The car expenses are minimal to what Ive already invested in this relationship and what I see going forward. BUT I feel like in principle things dont sit right with me regarding taking on paying routine bills for her. I havent minded giving her gifts...but bills have different connotations. Like I could understand if we were married, lived together, or have been dating significantly longer. Basically all the days weve been together in person are like 1 month...and only 1 day that she was completely free!
Im concerned that paying her bills is premature for where our relationship is now. I think that disconnect could cause significant issues. Ive had sugar daddy arrangements a couple years back but I dont like that lifestyle...Im worried this relationship is becoming more like that.
She comes from a very privileged lifestyle...but her parents are trying to give her an appreciation for finances by having her progressively be more responsible for things. By deferring those responsibilities on me...she wont learn these lessons. She has mentioned she wants a partner that can provide a similar lifestyle to what she was raised...and I totally get that. But even if she has a boyfriend or husband in the future that pays for everything and she never has to worry about financial matters...I still think its beneficial for her to have a better appreciation of how hard it is to make money and how much things cost. Like it would make her a more conscious and informed spender, lol.
So Im thinking of offering to pay half of her routine car expenses. What you all think?!