u/blablabla_2222

I’m female to male trans for context, My uncle raped me at a rlly early age. I got into porn and masturbating super early after that, Technically not so bad ig but then I hit 14 got into an abusive relationship, When their cheating started I seemed out getting abused by older men online . I wanted/want men to say the worst things they could/ would want to put me through bc when something and happens I feel like I’m worth nothing and deserve it. I hate that I feel like I need it and have tried stopping multiple times and have done good on and off. I don’t like men romantically or sexually unless I’m triggered. I even want them to “ make me feel like a girl again “ I’ll probably delete this soon but I needed to truly get this off my chest and see if anyone else has/goes thru anything similar