New to BDSM. How do I deal with this behaviour?
For a little context I’ve been seeing someone new for a few months (we are both female) and she is unlike anyone I’ve been with before. Most of my relationships have been pretty vanilla in terms of dynamics both outside of and during sex.
I’ve always leaned towards dominance, and I enjoy playful banter and being pushed a bit- but I’ve never encountered true bratty behaviour like this before. I have no idea what I’m doing a lot of the time. I don’t have a lot of confidence since it’s so new.
(I’d also like to note, We aren’t in an established BDSM relationship or anything. I don’t have a lot of experience with kinky stuff. Neither does she, this is just how she is.)
She is constantly pushing my buttons, taunting me, provoking me, when she knows I can’t do anything about it in the moment. This is where I struggle.
For example while her family was about 20 feet away and the door open, she came up to me in her bedroom- grabbed me by my belt and started whining about how much she needed me. I laughed and told her to save it for when we’re alone. She whispered in my ear “why don’t you make me?”
She does this kind of thing all the time, and it always gets me flustered- and I love it.
But I get stuck a lot, not knowing how to deal with the behaviour and it only makes her act out more.
She will keep going until she gets what she wants, which is usually a reaction. When I respond accordingly, she will back down. But I’m not always the best with my words.
I never get angry. But I hate the satisfaction on her face when she knows she’s got under my skin.
I enjoy this dynamic and I want both of us to be satisfied, but I’m lacking the tools to do so.
Any advice? <3