Discovering Consang, And My Family
So, where to start.
I (37F) recently had an online acquaintance come to me and reveal that they were consanguinamorous. As someone who'd never encountered that term, but was very open-minded, I googled it, and began asking questions--the usual attempts to find holes in the argument, but. Ultimately I couldn't. This friend then gave me some consang media to explore, and. Well it ripped my closet wide open, so to speak, and I realized how much consang feelings I'd been repressing all this time. Needless to say I'm now 100% in favor of it, any couple between consenting adults is completely okay in my book!
But what's perhaps more interesting, and I hope this doesn't come across as a "fake story" like I see so many others write, is realizing how much consanguinamorous gestures are common amongst my family, even if nobody (to my knowledge) has actually acted upon it in any real way.
See, my family is all very VERY openly queer and open about our sexuality! Things like my older sister (40 F) buying my first lapdance, or organizing a hookup for me, or my younger sister (32 F) and I sharing hentai memes, or my mom (67F) asking me if I need any condoms when I was younger, these were all extremely normalized in my family. So of course, this kind of stuff just seemed...normal to me. I now realize it isn't.
But the first thing that I thought of after accepting consanguinamory was realizing my sister's kid (19N, uses it/its pronouns) almost certainly has a crush on me. Every time we're together, it holds my hand, cuddles with me, talks about how it wishes it could find a partner like me, etc. Upon realizing that, I also realized I had feelings toward it. I truly care deeply about it, it's one of the coolest people I've ever met!
But even since then, I've noticed also my younger sister...REALLY likes making jokes toward incest, including for several years insisting we as a family watch the Folgers Commercial together for Christmas. You know the one. And the other day, at the farmer's market, the two of us got told we were a "cute couple" and she just said "thank you!" like it was the most casual thing in the world. And that too has left me wondering about my feelings toward her! We are incredibly close, and she's definitely smart and funny in my eyes, and she's been there for me in ways I could never fully justify. I'm still not sure I'd like to date her per se, she drives me crazy sometimes--but I just feel like I'd at least like to tell her I'm okay with such feelings.
And, well, with my older sister, we swore up and down when we were little that we'd marry someday. Of course, we were kids, and we were told "that can't happen", and eventually accepted it, but. I know even after that we had mock-weddings as kids.
And I guess I'm just posting here because I'm wondering if anyone has any experiences similar to mine, where it seems like Actually, Everyone In The Family Might Be On Board With Some Convincing, and how you went about achieving that? It's probably a pretty rare scenario based on what I've seen, but like...When I came out as queer, everyone in my family came out as well shortly after, so maybe I'm not just projecting?