u/dare-doll

Won't you put my mind at ease, please?

And someone to braid my hair. And to bruise my thighs. Please...?

And someone to braid my hair. And to bruise my thighs. Please...?

Fun fact: I've only ever reported a man to the police once in my life, and I ended up falling for him after that. What does that say about me?

One of you sent me a message asking if I'm real, because my tits look almost too good not to be AI. The obvious exaggeration aside, I find it very funny. This is all a matter of taking a good picture, just like the right perspective can make any cock look bigger. Not that my tits aren't fucking big... They are, in fact, too big for my liking. Today I spent the whole day at the office anxiously watching them bounce as I walked across the floor, making sure the fabric didn't pull open between those strategic buttons where it's always a little too tight. I hate those stupid tits. I've always hated them.

Last night I went through my old phone, and oh boy, it was a disturbing experience. I found a video of me with a guy who "raped" me or whatever, with him sitting in an armchair and me nestled at his feet on the floor. At some point, he noticed I was recording us in the mirror, and he smiled at me so, so warmly that seeing it now felt like a sharp sting. I had to stifle the urge to unblock his number, forward him the video, and let us reminisce about our good times - very short, but sweet nonetheless. Bad times cancel out the good times, though, don't they?

I don't know what I'm getting at. I am so full of hate for myself, and I'm not even sure why. Some days, I just walk around squirming inside, cringing at my hands, my thighs, my smile, my idiotic thoughts and instincts. I don't think any punishment would be sufficient to make me feel pure again. All I can do is appreciate little moments of relief. I guess my sentence is being stuck with this hungry brain, in this weak fucking body.

(Please don't send help lol, I'm actually doing really well, just ranting)

"She articulates the mechanism herself: she sexualizes relationships with older male authority figures because it gives her agency in a dynamic where she would otherwise be in pure need; sex is the only form of reciprocity she can offer for care; direct emotional need feels more exposing and shameful than sexual submission."

My father grew bored of me by the time I was two years old, and he stopped coming to see me. Today, I asked my mom if it's true that he wanted to date her for years after that, and that they continued meeting up because he liked fucking her, but I was just a boring little shit so he wanted her to leave me at home - and she said yeah. I knew that. What a sweet first lesson in how to keep a man's attention.

I am so, so, so sad because sometimes I miss Daddy too much. Today I was walking around a store with another man, and I spotted those Miniverse Sanrio balls with adorable mini waffles on a mini plate, everything shaped like Hello Kitty's head, and so, naturally, I nudged him to look. But he glanced my way and didn't even catch what I was pointing at. Finally, he said, "Aaah, right, cute!" and went back to picking through tomatoes. I know Daddy would say something like, "Of course you can have it, cutie, if you let me piss in your mouth in the parking lot," and I'd be the happiest girl in the world. Instead, I mutter, "Yeah, cute, but I don't want it anyway," and later, on the way to the car, I just stick to mineral water. Like a healthy adult would.

Isn't that a whole new level of pathetic? I can't even do this on my own.

And someone to beat me to a pulp ❤

With a lil bonus at the end.

Correct me if I'm wrong, though!