u/deeperdaisy

So I wrote on here a couple of months ago about how I have been exploring this fetish through my writing for a while now. I've met a lot of different people who have been showing me different ideas and experiences. I met someone in particular about two months ago who did a bunch of writing with me that was really really interesting.

...they also started to convince me to eat while I was writing. I started stuffing myself while I was roleplaying weight gain stories. It was really embarrassing but also really hot. I have been eating *all the time* trying to chase that feeling and it's been really really bad for my waistline. Last week after I already ate an entire pasta dinner and cake, I got convinced to order a Dominos pizza and eat the whole thing.

I have gained over fifteen pounds this summer. Between the twelve before I started and that, I'm almost thirty pounds heavier than I was this time last year. I'm starting to look and feel chubby. I've never been fat my entire life, but I can't help it.

My friend who I was writing with has gotten busy with IRL stuff lately which is only making it worse. Now when I'm bored and horny I eat. I can't stop. I'm hungry all the time. Yesterday I went to see my brother's new baby and we got pizza for dinner, and when I went home afterwards I ordered more pizza just to make a pig of myself. I'm ruining my figure guys it's so bad.

Part of me really wants to go cold turkey.

...another part of me is so messed up and horny that I want to find more people to convince me to keep making bad decisions. What if I got... like... fat fat?

To start off, I'm a writer. For years I have been exploring erotic fantasy through narrative. I started writing a lot of smut on the internet when I was in college and over the years I have explored a lot of different sexual fantasies and kinks. It started out with my really intense fantasies about CNC as I started getting out a serious relationship after high school (don't even get me started there >.<) and, needless to say, I've expanded my palate a lot over the years.

Anyway, fast forward to about a year ago. I've always drifted in and out of having various writing partners over the years. I think the most exciting way to write erotic stories is to work together with a partner. That's really the only way to be truly surprised. Anyway, I was writing with someone who I met a few months earlier and he convinced me to try to write a story about a girl who gets tied up and fed.

It was way hotter than I thought it would be. Like, to the point where I needed to keep exploring more. I started reading a lot of weight gain fetish stuff online and it was really exciting. Eventually I tried my hand at writing some, and that meant finding writing partners who had a lot more experience than me. I've been chatting online with some people I've met here and in the weightgainrp subreddit kind of a lot.

I kept telling myself that this specific fetish had to just be something I did for fun online. It couldn't seep into my real life. I certainly couldn't actually do anything about it. I didn't want to actually get fat, you know?

And then one night, about two months ago, I stuffed myself. Nothing compared to what a lot of people on here do, but still. It was a lot for me. I've done it a few more times than I'd like to admit at this point. I even did it while chatting with someone a few weeks ago while he egged me on.

I've gained twelve pounds. I've never been overweight in my entire life. I feel so fat. Oh my god. I need to get this under control... but also I really want to keep exploring. I think I have a problem.