Becoming a stripper cured my body image
If I never became a stripper I might still be obsessed with being stick thin. I grew up in a rich, predominantly white neighborhood and I’m a millennial so the beauty standard was thigh gaps, skinny arms, hip bones, and no ass.
My first week at the club I overheard a convo between 2 girls where one girl told the other one “damn girl you gained weight, your ass got huge! “ and instead of it starting a huge fight like I was expecting the other girl said “omg I knowwww thank you!”. My mind was totally blown. It was the total opposite of everything I’d been conditioned to believe (if it jiggles it’s bad).
I had a bf I was with before I started dancing and for the first 6 months after. If I weighed more than 112 pounds at 5’6” he would tell me to be careful and that I needed to clean up my diet. He could tell if I had gained 2 pounds and he would march me to the scale. I was down to 105 at one point and I felt like I wasn’t small enough. Him and I were on a very strict program and we enabled each other to under eat. No bread or pasta, no sugar, low fat, almost no dairy. 1200 calories a day. Every day for 4 years.
I had to start eating more when I started dancing bc my energy demands went up. I started wanting to lift weights so I could be strong enough to work longer shifts, bust cool pole tricks, and not get injured at work. I started wanting a bigger butt so I could shake ass better. I stopped eating and working out for aesthetics and shifted my focus to wanting to be healthy. I’m not skinny anymore but I could care less. I’m athletic and strong af now. I can do things with my body I could never do before. Now I eat 2200 calories a day and I eat every type of food. I’m 125 ilbs and I have some cellulite on my thighs. I see all these influencers and celebs getting scary skinny again and saying things like the gym makes you bulky and im glad i feel no desire to jump on the bandwagon.
Did dancing make yall more or less insecure?