Xanax to make the thoughts stop
reached the point where my mental illness and trauma and all the thoughts i was having about it just became too much. i could be posting in the mental health subreddit, but idk tbh i like this sub more, y'all are usually really chill and nice :)
anyway, i was having some >!suicidal thoughts,!< but i came to the conclusion that>! i don't want to die,!< i just need the thoughts to stop temporarily. thus, xanax to save the day.
i took a moderate-high amount and within the next 10 mins or so it should put me out & put me into a deep, dreamless sleep, hopefully for the rest of the day. and hopefully when i wake up the thoughts won't be as loud anymore.
wish me luck. thank you for reading this. i don't know why i'm posting this other than that i feel alone and ashamed and hopeless... and maybe writing it out, confessing, will make me feel a little less ashamed :/ idk.
(p.s. i've taken this amount before and it didn't kill me; i promise i have a tolerance and some knowledge when it comes to benzos, so i'm not being an idiot doing this and i know i'll be fine)