Right, I imagine this post will offend some people, so sorry in advance and didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings!
So I turned 18 a few months ago and a couple of days ago booked an appointment with a reputable escort - I decided it ultimately because I've always been curious to experience something like this, and a bad problem about myself is apathy towards dating e.g too focused on studying, working out and planning things to message girls I've been talking to so they get annoyed and things just don't work out.
But there's a part of me nervous about getting into this world - I don't mean to be obnoxious or egotistical but I have a lot going for me - going to an Ivy in the Fall and when seeing this subreddit and stories, it just strikes me as quite pathetic and socially wrecked - e.g feeling like the escort actually likes/loves you, or talking about your own body and self in such a degrading way...
My personal idea is to do this one appointment, think "huh that was nice" then leave it never to return, but I am just thinking about cancelling given a worry that I'll end up like a lot of people on this subreddit and enter this sort of dopamine-chasing addiction for "GFE experiences" that are ultimately never real and just cash destroyers at the end of the day.
Probably sound like an asshole but I'm curious - am I definitely overthinking this or is it very much possible at this age and time to enjoy myself for a couple hours then just leave it behind?
Can already predict the roasts in the comments but it is what it is lol thanks for reading this silly essay.