I'm not yet married but I did grow up in a trad household, headed by a strong patriarchal man. My parents also had a 21 year age gap. Because of that, I think my mom occupied almost an "eldest sister" role. She was the nurturer and educator, but discipline and authority were in Dad's hands. I also always heard her address him as "Dad" or "Daddy."
I'm just wondering how common that is in other trad families?
I just stumbled on this thread and appreciate its positive vibe and the 1950s aesthetic! I wanted to chime in with my own perspective as a girl raised in a patriarchal house where my mom and dad had very clear roles. For me, it always made absolute sense and created this feeling of total security. I loved shadowing my mom (she joked I was her "intern") and learning how to be a homemaker. I never thought she oppressed, and she always told me it was so liberating for her to get to focus on creating a beautiful home for us.
I know that's not for everybody, and I love the emphasis on this being freely chosen, but for me it's definitely the model that makes the most sense.