u/failedlif

just a quick and serious question to the domes who enjoy receiving voice notes from their subs.

does sighs matter?

alright i'm out, peace

here is my updated guide to findom subreddits, as always feel free to add yours to the list. you're welcome.

r/comedinewithdommes (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

it's pictures of food and/or drink. that's it. wait, no that's not it! you can also send money to the person who posted the picture of the food and/or drink because this is findom!

highly recommended for gordon ramsay

r/contrafindom (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

i'm way too dumb for this one, but still i read and upvote everything that gets posted heere, and nod along pretending to understand all the big words thinking if i just stay quiet they won't know that i don't actually get it

highly recommended for people who made it past high school (not me)

r/emergencywhale (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

what? something about marine life? i don't get it. you figure it out!

highly recommended for you, the reader

r/findom (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

i really don't know why anyone would ever go here unless they're looking to get off to some pics of sorority bikini brats while reading some of the most generic captions imaginable.

highly recommended for a quick, yet unsatisfying release and people who work for management agencies or something

r/findomchatters (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

some sort of a cozy community building exercise, but if you look past the pink hearts and pictures of baby animals, it kinda boils down to a water cooler where a bunch of tired service workers commiserate together over the nuisance and punchline that is the customer, i mean, in between trying to define what real true findom actually is. some cool hobby posts and correct opinions about pizza, though

highly recommended for those who like to look at pictures of baby chicks or whatever, in between reading weird essays about lonely men not deserving your empathy and doing findom wrong

r/findomintelligentsubs (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

probably the most ironically named subreddit of all time. basically indistinguishable from any other strip mall ad space. seriously can't figure out where the name comes into play here. be a sub real and watch this ass twerk away your wallet is about the level of posts you can expect here. so yeah, some basic ads and some ground breaking drain games where you have to do arithmetic like 'one upvote equals one dollar', and 'one comment equals 5 dollars'

highly recommended if you enjoy things like eating glue while both of your two remaining braincells fight for the third place.

r/findomsnark (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

at it's best this one's probably the most entertaining subreddit out there, but at it's worst it's just people posting their discussions with twitter bots. a bit hit or miss, but overall a welcome addition.

highly recommended if you like drama

r/findomsupportgroup (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

since they don't let domes post their sends all the time here anymore, i'm not sure what this thing is for actually... i still think this is 90% posts about sends, you just have to be quick to comment before they get taken down nowadays. either that or it's just memes about subs. someone tell me what you go here for! oh yeah i guess you go here to proclaim that findom is indeed about the money.

highly recommended for those who want to try their hand at making a post bragging about sends without explicitly spelling it out in order to get one past the mods, sounds like a fun puzzle.

r/paypigs2 (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

the cream of the crop of findom subreddits. the place that doesn't discriminate, and doesn't pretend to be anything more than what it is, which is a barely moderated dumpster fire with next to no restrictions on who can post. shows you exactly what findom actually really is like. fucking awful at the best of times, but at the same time, the best.

highly recommended if you love real actual unfiltered findom

r/paypigsneedvanilla (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

just one big fishing pond.

highly recommended for those who just ended their last long-term ownership, and just created a new account in hopes of finding another one

r/paypigsupportgroup (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

a support group for who exactly? no one knows. just look at the comments and you'll know which demographic this subreddit is for. the only thing more lucrative than standard findom seems to be the post-findom aftercare market

highly recommended for the domes who want to get into the comments of some tragic post, just to make sure everyone knows that they understand the subs far better than the other domes

r/poisereclaimsfindom (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

some sort of a hoity-toity findom country club, where domes love to sprinkle in some psych101 terminology to their posts in order to add some sort of an air of academic legitimacy to what still essentially just boils down to 'anyway, here's my throne, you know what to do.' but it's fun to pretend that this is not just paying money for a jpeg of some feet, so i get it. the subs who post here are a step above the rest as well, very articulate, very demure.

highly recommended for those who want their findom with a side of introductory psychology to make paying to cum seem a little deeper than it actually is

r/quittingfindom

go there, get help, and never look back. be free, be happy.

recommended for everyone

r/realfindomsupport (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

i don't know, i refuse to read it. i can taste vomit in my mouth, pretty sure i had lentil soup for lunch yesterday?

highly recommended for i'm not sure who? those who got banned from fsg? i mean, enjoy posting your sends here, i guess. until you offend a mod and get banned from here too.

r/SCUMfindom (a place for domes and subs to advertise)

i only peek at this one from between my fingers because this, this is some scary stuff. think an angsty teenager who just discovered the word 'misanthropy', and you've pretty much got the gist of it. don't expect any compassion here, no siree.

highly recommended for those who love pure, unadulterated edge. and skull emojis

let us preface this by saying that you're not our enemies here, we recognise you as our brothers and sisters in submission! it's just that we would like to urge you to take a moment, and really think a little bit about how your behaviour affects the regular working-class finsubs.

we get it, you guys play on a different scale, and that's completely okay. we understand that a $5 coffee send just doesn't give you the same kind of rush it gives us regular folks. we're not telling you to stop doing what you're doing, but could you just please do it in private?

you see, when you openly discuss your 4-figure sends and how you're hoping to work towards a 5-figure one in the near future, it really gives the domes some wildly inflated ideas, and skews public opinion.

like, right now we're living in the wild west over here. there are domes out there who require $50 (that's fifty us dollars) as an initial tribute, and we see coffees on throne wishlists in the $40+ range frequently! that's just insanity, and something must be done!

comrades, the hour of destiny is upon us! the only path that leads to a brighter future for the payment pigs is unionisation! and for that it's paramount that we get the whales on board! so what we suggest for a plan of action is simple:

first: all whales (self-proclaimed or otherwise) must make the domes sign an nda upon entering a dynamic, and refrain from publicly showing off their outrageous sends. then you can still go all free-willy-nilly with your whale-money but keep it behind closed doors, so it doesn't cause unrealistic community expectations!

second: all finsubs shall unite, and form a digital picket line! don't give them an inch! any sub who breaks ranks and falls for an inflated tribute is a scab and a traitor! do not fall for the insanely expensive coffee sends or initials! we must make the other side realise that while a single teensy weensy finsub might be weak, together we're strong! an injury to one paypig is an injury to all!

third: we demand a standardised pricing model! once we assert our collective bargaining power, we will establish a universal cap on initial tributes (currently proposed at a flat $5). additionally, common wishlist items (including but not limited to coffees, manicures, and pedicures) must be subject to strict cost of living adjustments based on actual market inflation, rather than arbitrary off the top of the dome markups!

in solidarity,

the syndicate of paypigs & hogs (sph)

from each according to their budget, to each dome according to her actual market-adjusted needs.

it has been exactly 40 days since easter (depending on who you ask i guess) when our lord and saviour jesus christ walked out of a dank roman cave for an encore, and on this day he finally left us in peace for good, and went back home to daddy. let this be a lesson to us all, hallelujah 🙏

so please, if you're in a triple d daddy dome dynamic, don't forget to take your place as their 'right-hand good boy' today and make them feel special, because as we know, every holiday is ultimately about the domes. amen 💅

there is a troubling amount of discourse regarding the "collapse" of the findom market, usually centred on the supposed scarcity of "quality" subs. this framing is fundamentally dishonest. we are currently witnessing an unprecedented surplus of domes. a market saturation that has led to a desperate, race-to-the-bottom scramble for monetary gains. yet, in this sea of abundance, the depth is glaringly absent. the industry's obsession with "timewasters", or "fake subs" is a convenient smokescreen, designed to pathologise the genuine submissive who dares to question the transactional model that has replaced genuine power exchange almost entirely.

the central contradiction of the modern findom scene is the claim that findom is about "power." in reality, the behaviour rewarded is purely transactional. this becomes painfully evident when a submissive attempts to introduce healthy and sustainable financial boundaries.

we see this misalignment most clearly in the pricing of genuine around the clock connection. as an example, personally, i am seeking a state of controlled submission. a framework where the dome genuinely cares for me, and makes herself available to me on-demand when i feel needy. in other words: i require a dynamic that offers immediate, frictionless access to the specific release i crave, precisely when i crave it. and for this i have set aside a healthy and easily sustainable budget of $30 a week.

in a healthy ecosystem, this would be seen as a generous anchor for a genuine long-term bond. however, the modern "dome" (here so-called) reacts to this carefully calibrated boundary with open hostility. this exposes a fatal flaw: she is in essence admitting that her authority is not real, but rather simply a service she is renting out by the hour. and who really holds the power in a leasing scenario such as this?

this obsession with capital accumulation naturally leads to the systemic weaponisation of age verification (av). while often framed as "safety", or "due diligence" av has been repurposed as a classist gatekeeping tool. when a dome demands government-issued identification, or some corporate data-collection application version of such before a genuine bond has even been formed, she isn't practising "risk management" she is simply engaging in surveillance.

the throughline is clear: because she cannot extract high fees from an intellectual submissive who understands his own value and boundaries, she attempts to use the friction of av to "filter" for those who are most compliant with corporate style data harvesting and consumerism. a truly intuitive dome should not need a third-party app or an id to verify a sub's maturity, she should sense his lexical sophistication through the words on the screen. by refusing to hand over my sensitive data to a stranger, i am not being "suspicious". i am asserting a boundary against the commodification of my identity.

finally, we must address the deeply anti-submissive rhetoric surrounding what the community dismissively labels as "topping from the bottom".

in any co-creative architecture, the submissive provides the blueprint. when i provide a dome with a detailed, 12 page script outlining the exact syntax, frequency, and emotional cadence of her humiliations, including a rigid schedule of when she is permitted to address me or when she is to be available, i am not being "difficult". i am providing the structure necessary for the genuine dynamic to thrive.

a dome who resents a step-by-step script is simply masking her own lack of leadership. if she truly held the authority, she would gracefully execute my exact instructions without the ego driven need for "originality." to the modern dome, my micromanagement looks like control, but to the genuine submissive, it is the ultimate act of devotion. i am doing her job for her. what greater gift can a submissive offer in our capitalist society?

ultimately, the findom space is failing because it prioritises "market value" over "organic connection." until the community stops chasing the "whales" and starts valuing the human being offering a heavily scripted, $30 a week intellectual partnership, the "genuine connection" everyone claims to crave will remain an expensive, transactional mirage.

signed,

bullseyefailure

i hope you feel a little pang of guilt in your gut for deleting the post that i spent like 10 minutes writing a response to just to have you yank it right out from under me as i was ready to reply.

anyway i wanted to tell you that i think about drain games a lot, but not in the sense of trying to come up with them, but more just in the 'wow these games suck' sense.

i was going to tell you that most drain games don't really feel like games to me, because there's very little player agency there. like, i get that the goal is to stack the odds in the domes favour, that makes sense given the context, but then at the same time the games people actually play are some shit where the player does absolutely fuckall apart from watching some numbers go up.

now since the original poster bailed, can someone brainstorm an actually fun drain game with me??

i think a drain game, in order to be fun, should ideally have at least these two elements:

- be somehow tailored to the player's kink, like say if they're into humiliation, the the game should require them to do something a little humiliating etc.

- the player should have a way to either win the game, or at least have a way to make it go just a tiny bit their way. even if the objective is like borderline impossible i feel like there should at least be some illusion of control there

like i don't know this is just off the top of my dome here so it's not great but still i think it's way better than an upvote game:

the player puts monopoly money into glass jars and then tightens the caps real hard.

the dome sets a timer while the player butters up their hands (can use margarine too).

then it's game time! the player starts desperately trying to unscrew the caps while the dome ridicules them for how much they're struggling with such a simple task (oh, the shame!)

then once the timer runs out the player sends whatever amount is still left inside the jars (they can wash their hands at this point)

now you tell me your idea for a drain game

i was just starting my day, adding a little dollop of butter to my otherwise plain oatmeal because i was feeling a little adventurous, when all of a sudden i felt a strange sort of pressure. a real uncomfortable feeling in my buttocks.

i started freaking out, i felt like i was being ripped apart down there, my face was turning red like a firetruck, and i couldn't breathe easily, only in short little gasps.

i was just about to call a doctor when i realized that this was no ordinary prolapse. i was being manfisted yet again. "baitman!!" i thought to myself as i fumbled around with my phone barely holding things together, sweating profusely now.

i opened reddit, went straight to baitman's profile, and sure enough there he was manfisting me with his comments again.

please, can we just go back to doing things the old fashioned way? a little wining and dining, maybe? some kenny g and candles? hello?

i don't have a thing for blackmailing even as a fantasy. in fact i have a whatever the opposite of 'a thing' for something is towards it, which is also why i know nothing of it as a kink, only as a crime.

but at the same time, let all scummers scum and all that, if you like it, and trust someone enough to do something like that with, then i guess go for it i'm not the fun police.

now, can someone explain "buyout fees" to me like i'm an idiot? like, are they supposed to be part of the play? like is that what the sub in the scenario is paying towards to get out of the whole thing? or is the point of them to make sure the domme gets paid when dudes inevitably get cold feet?

let's be totally wild and just pretend that in this imaginary blackmail scenario both parties still have all of their marbles in the bag okay? so we're supposedly not talking about actual crimes or whatever... but how aren't we?

if the point of a "buyout fee" is to ensure that the domme gets her bag when someone wants to bail, shouldn't it be more like a buyout retainer instead? i don't get it? (insert gif of limmy going 'but steel is heavier than feathers')

and if it's part of the play why do i have to read (albeit out of context) shit like 'i have to force you to pay the buyout fee' when things are going sour? like, if you have to force someone to pay the buyout fee, how's that not just regular ol' blackmail at that point?

so yeah, what's the deal with buyout fees? #jerryseinfeld

i'm feeling a little shaky and distressed, as i recently ended my dynamic with a dome because i have reason to believe there was a serious breach of contract (not to mention trust).

a little background: i started my latest long-term dynamic three days ago and like always i had the dome sign a contract that she has to spend the money i send her on throne on the actual item i sent for and not just have it go to her savings account or whatever. i mean, if i send for a coffee it's because i want to buy you a coffee not a bag of doritos. you know, pretty standard findom stuff.

now yesterday i sent her 'flowers' on throne, and then that same evening i saw her posting pictures of her new nails on reddit saying they were 'sub funded, ofc', which was a little weird. you might think she had another sub send for the nails, but i keep a pretty close eye on her throne gifters and there were no sends for a 'manicure' within the last 63 days, and her reddit post history shows that she definitely announced that last manicure send publicly. so naturally i get a little suspicious of foul play.

i confronted her about it last night and she got unreasonably angry, calling me insane and a creep and whatnot. really nasty stuff. like i don't think anyone would get that angry if they had nothing to feel ashamed of. i let her hear it and ended things immediately on the spot. blocked. i just can't stay in a dynamic with no trust.

but now i'm just curious if anyone's gone through something similar and if there's some way to enforce the clause in my contract that stipulates that all sends made by me must be refunded in case of a breach of contract? if there are any lawyers here my dms are open.

have any of you dealt with a similar situation before?

can you just like cut us some slack?

do you have any idea how much time i spend every day just browsing these stupid subreddits just studying and looking for potential targets?

or how much effort i put into my profile, perfecting my approaches, and figuring out exactly what to say to successfully top from the bottom while avoiding having to spend money on this!?

it's really disheartening to just have to read post after post calling us out every single day with no consideration on the sheer amount of emotional labor we put into this!

we do this for the love of the game and all we get for our troubles is non-stop shit and i'm sick of it

i've been so nervous for so long about unethical domes, they always seem so scary and completely unapproachable. i've spent countless hours just reading some about me's and posts, and that alone gets my heart thumping against my ribs so hard i think they might break.

and last night i finally worked up the courage to send a message to one... and you know what? the first thing they asked me was to verify my age, which i'm not gonna lie, was a bit of a let down after all that build up. seemed like a surprisingly ethical thing to do.

at least they didn't ask any questions about my budget, and instead just told me to tribute whatever i wanted as a sort of a test i guess, which i think i might've failed cause they just called me a fricking (their choice of words was a little more crass obviously being unethical and all) looser instead of a good boy afterwards. though i'm not exactly sure if that's because the coffee i sent wasn't deemed a big enough tribute or if that's just them being unethical.

anyway, the whole thing went down pretty much exactly like any other findom experience: i sent, got called names, and didn't get too much of anything in return (except they called it a scam instead of just you know, findom which was refreshingly honest i guess)

all in all it was a bit of a let down. kind of just seemed like a standard off-the-rack ethical dome experience, but with a few more expletives, a few less good boys, and a darker aesthetic overall.

so based on this i would just like to say to any sub out there who's scared of unethical domes, don't be. just make sure to bring your id and be prepared to see a few more skull emojis than usual. (unless you're talking actual ethics in which case i guess maybe don't get involved)

i'm developing a findom themed card game, kind of like top trumps but instead of cars it's diferent types of subs

anyway i just read today that nothing beats an angel send and i was just wondering if that's true because i want to make the game as accurate as possible

so in terms of sends is it so that sending $5.55 trumps sending, say $150? are angel sends like wildcards that beat everything apart from a bigger angel send? are there any other kinds of special sends besides angel?

just an honest question because i'm bored and because i see the sentiment a lot that if one does drains/sessions, then that makes them a 'content buyer' instead of a 'real finsub' or whatever.

now importantly, i'm actually not at all interested in discussing what, if anything, makes one a 'real finsub', or getting into a discussion where we try to define what 'findom' means together.

i'm simply curious to hear whether you (yes, you reading this message, i'm talking to you personally!) think of sessions as 'content'?

because i personally don't, at all. in my mind content is like a video clip or a picture or something pre-made and static that you consume.

a session or a drain on the other hand, is a dynamic experience. it happens live in the moment, and it's unpredictable. like, yes, you discuss boundaries, kinks, limits, things that make you get all tingly. but once you start you don't know what direction things go exactly, and you (or I) can't just go back to it again and feel the same sense of excitement or rush.

what say you, the reader?

i would just like to take a moment out of my busy day of slaving away for my godes and offer a sincere and long overdue apology to everyone whom it may concern.

i've been making posts and comments here as myself. as failsworth the person, not as failsworth the inferior looser, as if those two were somehow not one and the same, and for that i am truly, deeply sorry.

i understand now that it is not my place to engage with the really and truly superior domes of this subreddit as though i was their equal, or as though i were indeed a human being with thoughts and opinions about things beyond 'yes godes.'

i finally accept that you, just by having written '19F findomme. new to reddit not to findom' in your profile have in fact cemented your place as my superior, and i have been wrong to question that.

i acknowledge that even the most inane, poorly worded, and vapid post and/or comment from someone whose most formative life experience to date is still whatever happened in their high school cafeteria, and who has been legally allowed to vote for all of five months still represents a higher form of consciousness than i could ever reach.

please accept my most groveling apologies, dear domes and godeses of pp2, and rest assured in knowing that i will from now on simply focus on pandering, and validating your opinions just as the good lord intended.