M21 finshing too quick during sex (RANT)
Honestly this problem has frustrated me too much now, I am losing my self confidence and everything.
I M21 and my girlfriend F19 started dating about 2 months ago and everything except for the sex part is great. I've been masturbating quite regularly since I was like 9 so I know I've fucked up on that part big time and I believe that's the root of all my problems. I've been trying for YEARS to give up but this habit has never left me no matter what I do.
I have PE, I tried kegels, nofap (I relapse everytime), using a fleshlight, edging before masturbating, even delay condoms but nothing seems to work. This is killing my confidence when it comes to having sex. I'm a well above average looking guy (not trying to sound full of myself) and the girlfriend is significantly hotter than I am and it's a relatively new relationship which means we're still not at that stage where I can comfortably discuss this with her, I don't know if I ever will be able to do that it's too embarassing for me.
Something I've noticed is that when she's blowing me I can control myself, I can last significantly longer and if I want to stop I can stop, I can pull her off and ask for a moment - basically it's possible to pull out and take full pleasure of the moment. But the moment I proceed with actual penetration, I finish in like 20 seconds. It might be the tightness of the vagina or maybe how my muscles are engaged during sex idk but in several thrusts I'm done and even if I want to stop I can't, I can't pull out and take a moment I just find myself going faster and finishing. I have developed some elaborate lie that I tell her after stopping saying that I just get turned off for some reason. I know I shouldn't do that I know it's fucked up, I don't want judgement on that I'm sorry.
I've posted about this a few times before aswell and everyone just tells me that it's in the mind it's the pressure you've built in your head and I get that. But none of that shit ever helps, my dick is just wired in a way where it cums asap when stimulated. Idk what the difference between a blowjob and real penetration is but they seem to work differently.
Now I need long term and short term solutions, firstly I'm thinking of hoping onto delay sprays or viagra. Again I know everyone is going to tell me that I'm only 21 and I shouldn't do that but I want to try once, just so I can actually have sex properly for once and maybe get some confidence in me. Can anyone tell me how to get viagra from a chemist? And if delay sprays even work or whatever. Long term I know I have to stop fapping BUT HOW. IT NEVER WORKS. I get to fucking day 20 and I somehow relapse everytime istg I've been trying to give up since I was like 15 and it DOES NOT WORK. Maybe my willpower or something isn't as strong idk.
Please help man.