Why is everything all about the cock?!
For context, so far all of my play has been online, so my perspective is already skewed. I know that.
Still, my impression of (cis) gay guys is that they're... very phallocentric. Very focused on getting it in there, or getting their hands on it. And it's all about the penis. When you masturbate, you jerk off. That's it. When I ask what part is the most sensitive, you say, "I don't know, just, like, the whole thing."
As a Dom I have to explain to so many guys that touching your balls, your perineum, flexing your PC muscle, or even just controlled breathing can feel amazing and be a way to achieve pleasure. A lot of you barely seem to know your bodies, and it makes me sad. You're missing out.
I'm a trans man with a vulva. My orgasms aren't visible and not easily quantifiable. If you have a cock, it shoots a load, and that way you know you came. That's what sex is about, or at least so it seems to a lot of guys.
Maybe that's what incentives me to have a more broad definition of what it means to have an orgasm. I think if you have a vulva you understand more intuitively that orgasmic experiences can come from many different things, not just rubbing one out. Fuck, have you ever had a really good cup of tea when you were cold? That's basically an orgasm.
Jokes aside, I love to incorporate sensory exercises and guided imagination or meditation into play. I would love for men to get more in touch with their bodies and their own emotions and not let ideals of what it means to have "real" sex prevent them from having the best time they could possibly have.
Am I making sense at all? Do you use strategies like these?