u/flthyfckr

This is a fantasy that has haunted me for a long time, and if I were to find someone legitimate to fulfill it, I would jump at the opportunity. Basically, it’s the opposite of ordinary therapy—someone with full training and credentials destroys me psychologically and exploits me and my weaknesses. In session, I am always at a disadvantage, being fully naked, exposed, possibly restrained. My doctor forces me to admit my darkest thoughts and desires, works through my past, assigns all blame to me, forces me to internalize and accept the fact that I’m a worthless fag and deserve the hate and stigma. He blames me for everything and I have to accept. Any time he feels like I’m withholding information, whether I am or not, he hurts me, either physically or emotionally. Sessions may be private or with an audience of invited men. The goal is true emotional blackmail and sadism. Sessions are frequent and extremely costly. He reaps all the benefits he wishes and I am left to internalize and accept everything.