u/forestgreenbeach

This is difficult for me to confess but I use the thought of my dad while masturbating. I don’t know when or why this started, I just know that I’ve been doing it for a while now and I always feel guilty after.
When I’m with him in person, I don’t feel any sexual attraction at all nor do I want him to touch me. I love my dad but not as lover or a sexual object. My thoughts are strictly fantasy.
Why do I like thinking about him if I keep feeling guilty? I really should stop if it’s hurting this bad but I can’t help it. I’m too ashamed to talk about it to anyone in my life so I feel pretty alone. I’m hoping confessing might help a little.