Accepting my desires and escalating with my son
For the most part, my feelings aren't coming from an attraction to my son, but rather frustration and an appreciation for my son in this context. I've basically been in a dead bedroom since 2023, multiple affairs and really shitty sex with my husband made my sex life fall apart. I'm a SAHM, so I don't even have the courage to divorce him. I had learned to accept this life, feeling unloved and living off toys. My son's desire for me felt wrong, and in many ways it still does, but it's liberating to me. I know it's taboo, but I've been aching for a lover. Why not just find an affair partner? I have. I tried to do the same as my husband, but it didn't always work out, I sort of had an aversion to men as a whole for a long time. And I think for the last few years I've been consuming a lot of MILF and femdom porn, and I think something about an illicit maternal-sexual complex rewired my brain. I obviously still see my son as my son, but if he wants something and I want something, I think I deserve a break from normalcy.
This morning I decided to game-ify my contact with my son. After my husband left for work, he and I stayed at home for a few hours. I called him into the living room to watch a movie, and we played truth or dare, because I was "bored". He gave me very mild dares, I decided to go big from the start. I made him kiss my feet and sniff them, and lick my soles and toes by the fifth round. After a while we stopped playing, I just made him make out with my feet, as I got sucked in deeper into this new world of mine.
I don't really have a thing for feet, but I like worship, and I like being pleased. Seeing my son's mouth slobber over my feet makes me feel a distinct ache, like I need that mouth between my legs or I'll combust. I'll continue in the comments about our little "wrestling session".