Am I just a fantasy
Heyyyyuhhhh sooooo
I was talking to a guy (M) long-distance, 4000 miles away 🙂and we fell into a Domme/sub dynamic where I was taking the dominant role. I was attracted to him outside of the whole kink dynamic and I think I’d started to develop some form of feelings for him.
My favorite feature of his were his eyes.He has this dark brown almost sad doe eyes and light brown hair and his laugh is pretty cute he’s really funny as well and his voice oh his perfect voice my sweet angel.
In the beginning, he was perfect, sweet, respectful, listened to me talk we both liked the same things and leaned heavily into the submission apologizing profusely when he slipped up, praising me, worshipping me and being super attentive attentive whenever we were actively talking and I loved it.
Then suddenly his actual effort vanished. Naturally I find it hard to navigate such because for some reason I have a hard time trusting people.
He would randomly go MIA in between a conversation for 14+ hours without a word which is perfectly okay since we’re not in a relationship and he doesn’t owe me anything and we have our very own separate lives but then he disappeared for days.
Before this I had directly set a boundary and told him that as my sub and just as a basic courtesy to me I expected some form of communication mainly because I was worried about him and he agreed... only to turn around, leave my messages on read, and go dark since last week.
I haven’t reached out to him since then because I believe that silence is an answer itself.
I will not lie I feel hurt hell I burn because I guess as much as I try to deny it I really did like him a lot as a friend as a sub and maybe so much more more than I’d like to admit because now as I lay on my bed I feel as if I’m choking on my unsaid thoughts and feelings and words.
It made me realize how many guys love the fantasy of having a dominant woman or calling someone "Mommy," but completely lack the emotional maturity, respect, required to actually sustain it.
Being submissive in a dynamic isn't just about playing a role when you feel like it and thats why I gave up on being a domme a while back because I always felt like a kink dispenser only to let myself explore it again with someone who ended up hurting my feelings .
I’d like to not believe that the reason I was ghosted was maybe because I wasn’t actually sharing nudes or maybe he found a better domme who’s closer to where he lives or he just lost interest.
PS:Thank you so much for all the kind words and supportive replies its really helping me process everything* *Just a gentle reminder that my inbox is closed and I’m not looking for a sub