r/mommydom

So idk how to start this, so forgive me if I'm all over the place. So, I think I started to accept my overall attraction to the "mommy" type of women around like a few weeks ago. Though my attraction to them sprouted, I think over a year ago. It's only now that I finally admit it to myself that... I just want that kind of woman, ya know?

I put the air quotes in the title because it's not SOLELY a sex thing. I just dream about coming home to someone who wants to be around me and dote on me. I want to be held and get head pats and be told that I do such a good job. To be honest, I don't even know if that classifies as a mommy kink. I mean, I am attracted to a woman who would want to take more "initiative" over our relationship and to just... feel safe. In a way, I like being gently ordered around. Like being dommed by a gentle and caring woman who just wants to protect me.

I've had girlfriends before (complete dumpster fire), and they weren't at all like what you would call more "maternal" or "doting." So, after about a year of being single (since 2024) in 2025, I noticed that I found older (and taller) women far more attractive. The whole idea of being praised and pampered (just a little bit) genuinely sparked something in me that I had never felt before. I just want to be LIKED by someone and that they want to hold me and make me feel safe enough to be submissive almost. The reason I like taller women than me (I'm sorta short) is because they make me feel small in a non degrading kind of way where I can just relax.

Gotta keep it a buck. This is really embarrassing, and no, I don't have mommy issues (at least I sure as shit hope I don't). I just don't know who to confide in about this kind of thing. So I'm posting it here. I think that's all I have to mention for now unless I'm forgetting something so yeah. Anyway thanks for reading this post if you did so.

Because firstly, trying to find someone within my own state is an absolute NO GO. The kink community in my state are all entangled, they’re all sleeping together and they’re all connected in some way. So I have to look outside of my state and find someone long-distance. then, even that is impossible. Either they don’t fully appreciate me, or turns out that they actually wanted a daddy the whole time.

I don’t judge anyone that is into having multiple partners or anything of that nature. However, what does get me upset is wasting my time, them knowing my boundaries and thinking that my mind will change on it.

I know this is kind of a repetitive question, but I won’t lie I’m starting to feel hopeless. I’ve been in this space for a while now, I’ve also met some mommy’s online. But there’s always been quite a bit of distance between us. I’m not talking like a city or two, I mean like countries apart.

Also those few encounters/relationships I’ve had just ended with me getting ghosted, it was confusing because 1, I was 100% respectful and 2, the last message they sent me was very positive.

But getting back to the main question, basically I’ve yet to find anything irl. I’ve also yet to find anyone who’s in the same county as me. Like I said I’m beginning to lose hope, because like most of us here what I want is a relationship with someone I can love and trust.

Also I would like to state this is no way shape or form an ad or a post for sympathy I just want some clarity from others who’ve been in my situation or understand my situation and can maybe give me some guidance.

Also lastly I’d like to state I’m from the uk, so it would be appreciated if someone from the same country as me gave some insight. And any advice on how to find someone irl, or if there is any sort of dating sites/apps for this dynamic would be appreciated.

TLDR: not looking for sympathy, just need advice on finding someone irl I’m from the uk.

hi, i am an older woman just stumbling into mommydom and i am kind of a natural if i do say myself. i am not dominant unless pushed and sometimes like to be dominated. is this what is known as a switch? also where does one go to find anyone to talk to about this?

My mommy is going away for a few days with her friends, and it makes me feel soo little and squirmy and all mixed up in my body!

I know I'm going to miss my mummy every day, but I am also so happy she gets to go and have grown up time with her friends.

The thought of other people getting to spend time with her, and all the people that will see how pretty and lovely and beautiful she is, makes me feel so funny in my tummy. Especially knowing she is going to be swimming in her super pretty costume!

Does anyone else get feelings like this when their mommy goes away?

Mommies, do you like knowing your little boy or girl feels like this?

I (30F) have been drawn to mommydom for a while now. I've experimented with it online and only plan to keep it online. However, my partner (31M) is completely monogamous and absolutely will not accept it if I were to tell him of my doings. He's a dom himself and I appreciate being his sub. He and I have a great, stable, loving relationship that I do not want to lose. However, I feel that if I don't express this aspect of myself as a mommydom in some way, it would be rather toxic for me to deny as a part of myself, hence why I find littles online to anonymously express this in a healthy way.

My questions are:

Does refusal to express this kink to my lover make me a "bad" person?

Is this considered cheating (emotional cheating)?

Are there other mommies in this predicament? If so, how do you go about your dwellings within the kink?

We love closed missionary for its intimacy. Love to hear everyone else’s thoughts, maybe you prefer outercourse or other acts of intimacy.

Why is finding a mommy that won’t ghost so hard?? They are totally so elusive.

I have posted several ads and had a few messages at first (they all ghosted after a day or so) but now… radio silence

I mean I understand why they are elusive and often hide in the shadows because if they don’t hide, they will be bombarded with “hey mommy” or “ will you be mommy?” messages. Im occasionally a mommy so I totally get it. It can be overwhelming and invasive.

I just miss getting messages and talking and then being dropped like a hot fuckin potato

Heyyyyuhhhh sooooo

I was talking to a guy (M) long-distance, 4000 miles away 🙂and we fell into a Domme/sub dynamic where I was taking the dominant role. I was attracted to him outside of the whole kink dynamic and I think I’d started to develop some form of feelings for him.

My favorite feature of his were his eyes.He has this dark brown almost sad doe eyes and light brown hair and his laugh is pretty cute he’s really funny as well and his voice oh his perfect voice my sweet angel.

In the beginning, he was perfect, sweet, respectful, listened to me talk we both liked the same things and leaned heavily into the submission apologizing profusely when he slipped up, praising me, worshipping me and being super attentive attentive whenever we were actively talking and I loved it.

Then suddenly his actual effort vanished. Naturally I find it hard to navigate such because for some reason I have a hard time trusting people.

He would randomly go MIA in between a conversation for 14+ hours without a word which is perfectly okay since we’re not in a relationship and he doesn’t owe me anything and we have our very own separate lives but then he disappeared for days.

Before this I had directly set a boundary and told him that as my sub and just as a basic courtesy to me I expected some form of communication mainly because I was worried about him and he agreed... only to turn around, leave my messages on read, and go dark since last week.

I haven’t reached out to him since then because I believe that silence is an answer itself.

I will not lie I feel hurt hell I burn because I guess as much as I try to deny it I really did like him a lot as a friend as a sub and maybe so much more more than I’d like to admit because now as I lay on my bed I feel as if I’m choking on my unsaid thoughts and feelings and words.

It made me realize how many guys love the fantasy of having a dominant woman or calling someone "Mommy," but completely lack the emotional maturity, respect, required to actually sustain it.

Being submissive in a dynamic isn't just about playing a role when you feel like it and thats why I gave up on being a domme a while back because I always felt like a kink dispenser only to let myself explore it again with someone who ended up hurting my feelings .

I’d like to not believe that the reason I was ghosted was maybe because I wasn’t actually sharing nudes or maybe he found a better domme who’s closer to where he lives or he just lost interest.

PS:Thank you so much for all the kind words and supportive replies its really helping me process everything* *Just a gentle reminder that my inbox is closed and I’m not looking for a sub

I've had this deep, constant urge for a long time: the need to feel loved, safe, and close to a mommy. It’s like a fire that sits in my chest and never really dies down. Nothing has managed to make it smaller for more than a short while.

I’ve met multiple doms. I had a real-life girlfriend who was into domination. I’m into humiliation and a lot of the usual stuff that comes with it. I’ve bought plenty of online sessions. I’ve drifted into findom and other kinks along the way. None of it has ever fully satisfied the specific desire for a mommy.

I’ve tried stepping away from porn and other sexual content completely. It doesn’t work for me — the urge just sits there and gets louder. Today it’s especially strong and I feel stuck. It feels like I can’t actually get happy or satisfied while this is always running in the background.

How do you guys handle urges this strong and specific? Has anyone found something that actually helps long-term instead of just temporarily quieting it?

Honestly, is there something short sighted or wrong with the way I'm viewing a potential Mommy Domme relationship? When I post I always seem to receive down votes. It makes me think I've got something wrong about the dynamic as a whole. Honest and constructive feedback on my perspective would be much appreciated.

Here is how I currently view things

1- What does being with a mommy domme mean to you?

To me having a Mommy would mean having the safety, security, and permission to truly let go of everything and just be. She would allow me to just exist as my little self and be enough. To have needs and still be loved. It's like being seen and chosen on the deepest levels. She would accept me as I am but also find ways to guide me to living better.

The beauty and magic of a Mommy/little relationship is its symbiotic nature. A Mommy needs to nurture and a little needs that attention. We each fulfill each other's needs by openly embracing our true selves. How amazing is that?!

But it's not just about me and the attention I receive. To me a vital aspect of the dynamic is what I am able to do for and give to my Mommy in return. I'm a giver, the satisfaction and fulfillment of my partner is highly important to me. So having a Mommy also means having someone to cherish and pour my love into. When I'm not so little I can dote on her and make her feel special and chosen.

2- What do you dream of doing with your mommy?

I have many fantasies, both SFW and NSFW. I'm open to so many various intensities of this dynamic it's hard to pin one down. It truly depends on my partner's desires and needs. I aim to please and get pleasure from my partner's satisfaction. My fantasies mostly center around being vulnerable and compliant for Mommy and being praised for it. I can say that I'd like diapers to be included in the scene. Aside from that, everything is open to discussion as far as I'm concerned. I want to try everything twice, just in case I was nervous the first time.

3- What does she do for you to make you feel special and cared for in your fantasies?

It probably sounds strange, but the greatest thing that she could do for me to make me feel special is take care of me during a migraine attack. To me, it's the equivalent of loving me at my worst.

4- What would you hope you got out of a dynamic with your mommy?

There are the obvious things that I'd hope to find. Things like acceptance, guidance, understanding, happiness and fulfillment. But more specifically for me, I would hope to find the dynamic healing. Not that it's her job to heal my past trauma, that's what my therapist is for. But I believe that the dynamic itself would be very therapeutic for me.

It would allow me to act out the elements that were missing from my actual childhood. The short version is I was deathly ill many times as a child and had to mature fast. Having needs was associated with scary things like doctors visits. It's part of why I'm so independent in my regular life.

Another aspect that was missing from growing up for me was the feminine world. I'm a trans woman and as such my childhood was spent hiding who I really was. Anything feminine was forbidden to me then. But now I wonder what I would have been like? I would love for Mommy to teach me all about her own childhood favorites.

So... do I have it wrong? Are my expectations naive or off putting somehow? Why all the negativity?

Hi everyone. I've been lurking here for years and only commenting from time to time. I'm posting today what might be my biggest heartbreak yet.

Three months ago I was approached by someone who had seen a comment of mine on this community, we chatted and this person became my mommy. For three months we talked almost everyday, I was sending pictures (non personal or nude, just regular stuff from my everyday life, something we had agreed on), we were getting closer, I was more and more attached and it was kind of getting serious. Things were good, dare I say perfect. I was envisioning something, for the first time in my life. I was hoping we could build something out of this.

Then today, I was hit by a bomb : my mommy had never been a mommy. "She" was a man this whole time, playing pretend since the beginning, who got too invested into it until now.

I don't even know how I feel. I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm lost. I was truly hoping that it was my turn, for once. And now I've got nothing. Three months, living a lie. I keep rethinking about everything I said, how much I meant all of it. How I wish all of this could have been true.

How could I ever trust again ? I'm posting this because I need to tell someone, or I'll lose my mind. Maybe the concerned person will see it but it doesn't matter.

I (25M) wish it was easier to find somebody, just in general. Just finding someone that’s just naturally nurturing is such a difficult task. A lot of times I feel like I’m yearning for something that just doesn’t exist. Like it’s just pointless. Especially when it comes to the lifestyle part of it, because I’ve met people out there that firmly believe that the dynamic should only exist in the bedroom. I honestly don’t know if the sexual part of it is what I want right now; right now I feel like I just want the support and love from a mommy type. I know I have trust issues, trauma, and BS relationship advice to work through, but regardless I still want the love and support from a mommy.

I just feel worthless inside as a sub 😔 pretty sure I got ghosted after putting alot of effort into a meetup. Its really hard and i feel so alone in it because just like most I hide this part of me...the biggest part of me. Idk if its ever really worked out being a sub it feels like being a kid on Christmas full of hope, then completely crushed.

So, two nights ago, I was on call with my sweet baby and we were discussing how it's gonna be almost a year since he first messaged me about wanting to possibly be in a Mommy dynamic with me. We were going back and forth, remembering all the memories we had created together. He was also explaining to me how sometimes he thinks that one day he's gonna wake up and it was all dream. I reassured him that I'm real, and I'm not going anywhere. As long as he continues to be himself and continues to improve himself (have growth), I'm staying 😊.

He then tells me something that for the first time in sooooo long, I blushed. I mean, I can't even remember the last time I blushed🥲. He said, " You are my dream, and I can't believe you are real." I know it's something that people probably have heard before, but it was the way he said it. It was as if this sweet and gentle little puppy who had been through so much, finally found happiness.🥹

I'm learning more about him everyday and it continues to make sense on why sometimes he overthinks, especially overthinking about the possibility of bad things happening. He's just someone who has been trying very hard to get through it and finally has lifted himself out of that deep hole. It's as if the universe noticed that when he finally was giving back to himself, something else even more beautiful was going to come into his life and add to his life, hence me. I think it's also why he tries his very best to make sure I'm always happy.

Overall, at the end of the day, even though we started off as having a Mommy dynamic, I considered him more than just my sub, he's one of my best friends and being his dream, is something I'm always going to cherish 💖

i literally don’t know anybody who wouldn’t judge me for this irl so now yall get to hear it!! me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost a year now. i’m more sexually compatible with her than anybody i have met and she says the same. and recently … i feel like she’s partaking in more and more of my kinks

like for example: she can call me her baby unprompted, press my face into her chest and wait for me to suckle and nurse on her. i also get called puppy and actually get rewarded by pets and squeezes whenever i act like one. it’s soooo cute bruh i love her wtf .. she looks so freaking happy when i make whining sounds and roll over , show my belly and make begging motions to have her pet me. her entire face just lights up and she tells me how adorable i am :((

and recently, i started accidentally calling her mommy a lot more. almost unconsciously when she’s plowing into me too hard i have to yelp out “mommy stop!! slower please!!”. god it felt so awkward at first because it wasn’t controlled by me but ??? she honestly doesn’t seem to mind. and as of lately i think it’s turning her on. two days ago she was topping me and holy shit: the dirty talk was insane. it felt mind melting at the moment but now i can’t even recall most of what she said. something along the lines of “you’re old enough to have mommy’s babies now, you have no choice” i SWEAR i was sCREAMING at that moment. i don’t think we have ever approached age play where i wasn’t in a caretaker role and this plus her pandering to my cnc kink???? insane, just CRAZY. i love her. btw prior to that i was really upset and cried in her arms. i was so pathetic after, smelling her bush and her pits to calm myself down with a familiar scent, licking her everywhere.. no wonder we had sex right after :p sometimes when we go to sleep together or when i’m laying on her i unconsciously call her mommy as well. the fact that she wears bathrobes around the house DOES NOT help. what’s funny is that she’s the younger one in our couple… but i think it still works out because she gets a power trip out of domming an older girl

Our sex is usually really nurturing & sensual & PE can fit well with our dynamic. Interested to hear everyone else thoughts

Hi hi! So I’m curious what all the subbies here think… so what does being a mommy means to you? What do you dream of doing with your mommy? What does she do for you to make you feel special and cared for in your fantasies, and what would you hope you got out of a dynamic with your mommy? 💕

(I couldn't think of a better title, apologies.)

Hello everyone. I'm posting here because I could really use some advice, and I was hoping you all could help me. So I'm a male sub in my 30s, and all in all things are decent. I've got housing, friends of both genders, and I'm poor but still able to afford bills. Health is good too.

The issue, however, is that I can't seem to be satisfied with these blessings. That's because, ever since my last relationship 5 years ago, I've sort of been hooked to the lifestyle. It helped me feel nurtured, satisfied, safe and comforted in ways I've never experienced before or since, and I can't seem to let go. No matter how much I try to remind myself how lucky I am in general, and how I should be content with life as it is now, my brain keeps obsessing over someday doing scenes again, finding a new dom etc. I know that this isn't healthy (both for me and for my future dating life), but I can't seem to get my brain to stop obsessing over stuff I can't have right now. It's driving me nuts, hence why I'm posting this request for advice.

Has anyone here experienced the same, or have tips and tricks on how to keep this sort of thing under control? Or even how to let it go, so I can go back to being content again instead of obsessing over things I can' have right now? Any and all advice is most welcome. I hope this is the right place to ask.