u/hazyhopepunk

ive never been able to hold an edge for more than a few hours. probably doesnt help that i like to spend those hours gooning, cause i always cum by accident when i do that. i want to fix that and train some self discipline.

yesterday i started watching the queue balls 21 day challenge series. four hypnosis files you're intended to listen to in stages. if i've read it right, stage 1 encourages you to edge but doesnt forbid cumming. stages 2 and onward forbid orgasms. i want to try and listen to its conclusion. ive tried no nut november before but never managed to stick it out the whole month, so im hoping 21 days will be a little less daunting.

yesterday i edged and then sat with a dildo inside me for a while before going to an appointment, but then i couldnt bear it anymore and had to cum before i went to bed. today, i listened to stage 1 again before another, longer appointment. my arousal is hard to ignore, but i've managed to avoid touching myself so far.

i mostly masturbate with a vibrator because its less painful and less annoying to clean. it also makes it a little easier to apply lidocaine cream at the tail end of my edging sessions to try and stave off orgasm when my self control starts to waver. i'm really enjoying the sensation of making my t-dick burn and get so much more responsive to my vibrator for a second, then feeling it tingle numb until i cant even feel the vibrations anymore. i'm planning to make pretty liberal use of lidocaine cream to keep my orgasms at bay.

what i'd like to try and achieve is edging for a set time limit every day, while watching those hypno videos. then numbing myself up, cleaning my toys and putting a stop to it. the files are a set length, but there's variance in the length of the videos, and the files themselves (anywhere from 20 to like 45 minutes.) i think edgemeplease might help me in that case, since i think it's got set timers with only a little variance. (massively recommend edgemeplease.com if you haven't checked it out before. the language is pretty penis-centric but it's a fun little game to play >:))

i should probably only let myself masturbate once a day under this ruleset, but there is a part of me incredibly tempted to try it twice. i should probably be looking for hypno files with awakeners at the end if i do that. if not, i'll need to find ways to make my arousal disperse after touching without cumming. i wonder if toothpaste on my dick would work? i tried that the other day and found the sting was more painful than pleasurable. be a fun little way to remind my body it's not allowed to orgasm, if it works...

my greatest concern is that i'll rile myself up by accident whenever i check in on here or on fetlife or wherever. and i write a lot of horny fanfiction in my off time, so i worry if i get too horny for too long it'll lower the quality of my writing. i'm worried about getting aroused more and more easily, because when i'm too aroused i want to touch myself, and when i touch myself i'm likely to orgasm. training myself to be disciplined enough to edge without coming is one thing, it's another to train myself out of touching myself when i'm horny.

i know this is long but i'm kinda just working stuff out by typing it. its like rubber duck programming lol. any advice is welcome but not strictly necessary. i guess wish me luck :}

i can already imagine it. a house full of queer and bicurious men who just live and breathe gooning. sure, some of them have jobs, gotta pay the rent somehow, but the minute they get home they toss their clothes aside and join their bator bros on the couch. porn's playing on the tv at all times, and even then people have got their own personal stashes they scroll through on their laptops, phones and tablets. stroking their big wet goonsticks, not giving a damn how loud or perverted they are. openly enthusing about their favorite pornstars and scenes and hentai art. poppers, weed, booze, and whatever other goon-friendly drugs are all over the place. the household's favorite activity is to get together and pump their fat sticky bator cocks and edge their brains out.

and me? well, my main contribution is being the only one in the house with a wet little pussy. my gooner bros keep me topped up on poppers and edibles, they swab my useless little t-dick with lidocaine to keep me denied and horny, and then they get to use my body as a fleshlight. my favorite place to be is on the floor under one of my goonbuds as they mindlessly rut into me. he's drooling on me, but he doesn't even realize cause he's too busy staring up at the porn on the tv. he's so gooned out that i'm practically not even there. i'm not his bud, i'm just a warm tight sloppy hole to edge with.

and maybe if i'm super lucky there are some alpha men in the house keeping everybody in line. my pussy is communal property, but all the beta gooners only use my slutty holes to edge. it's a rare, delicious reward to get properly well and truly fucked, to have a stronger, older man dump his load in my pussy and stuff me with a plug to keep it all inside. i want my pussy to be constantly wet and sloppy and so well-fucked you could shove a hand inside me with barely any resistance. i wanna be so gooned out of my mind that getting my pussy stuffed like that just makes me moan and drool like a good gooner faggot. i wanna get passed around by my roommates like i'm a living sex toy and stay gooned, brainless, needy and denied for as long as humanly possible. what a dream life that'd be 🤤