u/horny_alt6969blabla

I don't really know where I'm going with this because there's a few things I want to mention.

So when I was younger, I found clips of an anime which really turned me on. Before I could really figure out what I felt or much of what else there was, my parents took my phone and gave it back but said nothing... Just to make fun of me in front of their friends weeks later. Then when they were shocked that I was upset, they explained they thought that was better than just talking to me about it (for some reason??). They also said if I was into that then there would be a chance I would get into "stuff that's only legal because it's a drawing," so they wanted to dissuade me from it entirely.

I said all of this for context to the shame I have about this stuff, but I feel like the hentai I look at is actually better than real porn. No one is getting hurt, or feels like they have to sell their body, etc.. At least with hentai, there's a lot more control in my head on the dynamics and context of the scene. Plus, there's way more stories and hot stuff you can do with hentai that just dont work live action (especially with the "hub acting")

(Trigger warning (edit, for mention of sexual abuse/grooming) this paragraph, you can skip if you want to.) All the sexual experiences I've had with anyone else have been pretty bad. I've been groomed twice to push myself sexually for the desire of someone else, so trust is a big issue when it comes to anything sex related. My hentai preference was there before these experiences, but they certainly didn't help my interest in getting laid instead of "jerking off to drawings," as someone put it once.

I don't know if "kinky autism" is the best place to post this, but there's literally a post talking about someone's thirst for losers/discord mods, so I think I'll be fine. I am autistic so maybe that's the real reason I like it lol. I do watch plenty of normal porn with real actors, but the split is probably 65% hentai 35% real. Idk if that's degenerate but that's what this post is for!