u/jimthedrover

I have a theory, and before everyone from Indooroopilly to Logan to Noosa starts typing angry essays, just hear me out.

I’m increasingly convinced that “homophobia” is not actually fear of gay people.

I think, deep down, a lot of it is jealousy.

Because honestly? Being openly gay can be bloody fantastic.

You get older and suddenly realise half the rules everyone stresses over are made up anyway. You stop caring whether strangers in the Queen Street Mall think you might “look gay”.

You can tell your mates you love them. You can hug people. You can actually talk about emotions without pretending you’re emotionally constipated because some bloke at the Broncos leagues club in 1987 said men shouldn’t cry.

You can have lots & lots of NSA fun. Without feeling guilty.

And also — let’s be real — I think some people are not scared that gay people exist.

I think they are scared they themselves might, god forbid, even slightly enjoy something “taboo” if they ever let their walls down for five seconds.

Because if you are genuinely, completely comfortable in yourself… why does another grown man wearing short shorts in New Farm ruin your afternoon so badly?

Like mate, relax. The sun is out. The river is beautiful. Go get yourself a little oat latte in West End and unpack those feelings.

And before people say, “Nah mate, I just disagree with the lifestyle,” I would simply like to point out that straight people invented:

👩‍❤️‍👨divorce
👩‍❤️‍👨cheating
👩‍❤️‍👨Gold Coast schoolies
👩‍❤️‍👨gender reveal explosions
👩‍❤️‍👨 baby names spelt with eight unnecessary Y’s
👩‍❤️‍👨 spending $70,000 on a wedding and serving dry chicken breast
👩‍❤️‍👨 getting into fist fights outside a Valley club at 2am over literally nothing
👩‍❤️‍👨and whatever the hell happens at the Caxton after State of Origin

But we still love the straights, right? Just disagree a bit with their lifestyle, sometimes, yeah? Haha.

So maybe nobody should be throwing stones here.

Anyway. That’s my TED Talk. Happy to hear counterarguments while sitting at a coffee shop in Bowen Hills pretending this weather counts as winter. Gotta love Brisbane!

Have an AWESOME weekend 🏳️‍🌈🫶🏻

G’day everyone,

I recently hung out with another guy who does the same kind of massage as I do for a bit.

And we got to talking about the job, and I realised, he feels exactly the same way I do, so now I don’t feel shy in sharing this with you all — if I’m crazy, then at least I know I’m not alone! Haha.

So, here goes. Here are some thoughts I have on what I do:

1. I feel like what I do has meaning.

I think, in Western culture, we are brought up to keep a distance from each other, and touch and closeness is seen as something only couples can do and in private. But at the same time, so much of our culture is sexualised.

I think we are all touch-starved. I think we were meant to come into contact with each other more often. A lot of people are scared — afraid of other people, other groups, other ethnicities. Scared to get too close to another…

And I think that starves us of something we need to thrive. Whether it is love, or connection, trust, or togetherness… I think this is a basic need that we don’t acknowledge, engage in, or seek out for ourselves.

I believe this can have an impact on your mental health, physical health, and overall wellbeing. So, at the very least, I can offer this to those that need it. And I think, considering the benefits I believe this can bring, that is worthwhile.

2. I can help people who might feel alone

If you are a gay guy who is out and proud, it can be easy to forget what life was like when you weren’t.

And there are heaps of people out there who still haven’t come to terms with their sexuality, or if they have, still haven’t started living life as a gay or bi man.

And I think hiding part of yourself like that is painful. Not just psychologically, but physically too. And before you start thinking, this is all a bit too woo-woo for me, suck it up and keep reading.

If you don’t have anyone gay around you, or just nobody to talk to, I’m happy to be that person while I massage you. I have seen some of my clients become so confident over time. A couple of clients saw me for their first ever experience with a guy — and months later, they are telling me about how they are dating someone, or meeting people on apps.

And you know what, that makes me feel bloody proud. So, yeah.

3. People leave with a smile

I once was in a job where debates and arguments were fairly normal, office politics was a nightmare, and no matter what you did, there would always be someone there to throw a spanner in the works.

Now, people come to me with problems. Perhaps out of alignment, soreness & stiffness, trouble sleeping, hoping I can help. And when I’m able to lighten people’s loads, and they walk out of my door with a smile on their face, it puts one on mine too.

And I quite often get text messages days later from people telling me all sorts of things, such as:

~ I don’t need to take pain killers to sleep anymore
~ My back hasn’t felt this great in months
~ Even my mum has said that my posture’s improved
~ My wife says I need to get a massage from you each week or she’ll divorce me (yes, I was extremely proud of this one)

So… I feel like, sometimes guys come to me for one thing, which I deliver, but also, in the process, I give a great therapeutic massage also. And I like to help people!

4. This job has opened my eyes so much

I was once VERY conservative. Very well-mannered, always neat and tidy, and “well-behaved”. I am still neat, tidy, and well mannered. I am always respectful & professional… but, now, I allow myself to be a little naughty sometimes, and NOT feel guilty about it.

I see so many people carrying around trauma & stress. People who have lived with pain for years, or months. I have met politicians, athletes, artists, immigrants… all types of people.

My massage room is almost like a non-stop science experiment. I get to see people from all walks of life interact with the space, and me, and it is fascinating to see just how similar we all are, while also still being unique.

And let me tell you one thing: It does not matter if you are black, white, or purple, if you are as thin as a rake or as wide as a house, as tall as a skyscraper or as short as a mouse. It doesn’t matter if your you-know-what is huge or tiny, you’re the best looking person or extremely slimy, we are all the same. All the same. All the same. This part doesn’t need to rhyme, you just need to get it through your noggin!

Even the best looking & most successful guys get nervous. And we all react in the same way to feelings & emotions.

I don’t know. I think… because I get to interact with so many people, I’ve really started to realise how superficial we are as a species.

Yes, some people can be more physically attractive than others, but what attracts me is what is beneath the skin. And not in a soppy, emotional sense — I mean, a person’s mind, the neural pathways they’ve developed, the experiences they’ve had, the feelings they are willing to express, and the stories they can tell.

Obviously, I still love it when a great looking guy rocks up for a massage. But, I can say, honestly, hand-on-heart, I can find extremely attractive traits about all of my clients. And so, I do try to help them acknowledge those parts of themselves too.

5. I sleep well at night

I sleep very well at night, because I feel I am doing honest work.

I am up-front about what I offer, and I am confident that I do well to meet and exceed expectations.

But I also sleep well at night knowing that I’ve achieved something during the day, helped someone feel a bit more comfortable within themselves, or loosened up some tightness.

In addition… this work does tire me out sometimes, in a good way, which is also why I sleep pretty well these days!

I am a certified massage therapist and I do work one or two days a week in a proper remedial massage clinic.

So, a massage with me starts like any other. I’ll ask you what you prefer for pressure, and if there’s anywhere you want me to focus on. I will drape you in a towel, so it’s not awkward, and I’ll be topless.

I do your upper body, and then the buttocks, and then I remove my pants and kneel on the table to massage your entire body. Then, I ask you to turn over. At this point we are both naked. I’ll massage your shoulders, legs again, and then a belly rub… and...

That’s how a standard sensual massage with me goes :)

I’ve got a heater to keep us nice and warm. But I’ve only ever needed it for a few minutes to get us going… 🥵

G’day again,

One thing I’ve realised since doing massage full time is this: a lot of people carry an unbelievable amount of tension in their glutes, hips, and upper legs… but many still think a “proper massage” means avoiding the butt completely.

Honestly? If your massage therapist skips the glutes entirely, there’s a good chance they’re skipping one of the most important areas in the body.

The glutes are connected into your lower back, hips, IT band, hamstrings, and even the way tension travels down your legs. You can spend an hour releasing someone’s back and shoulders, but if the muscles around the pelvis and hips are still locked up, the body often just pulls itself back into the same tight patterns again afterwards.

And fun fact: the groin/hip region is also one of the most neurologically sensitive areas of the body. Not in a “dirty” way necessarily — although it can be — it’s just an area packed with nerves, connective tissue, and major muscle attachments. That’s part of why good work around the hips and glutes can sometimes make people feel instantly lighter, calmer, or even emotional afterwards. Your nervous system finally stops bracing itself.

The picture I’ve attached here actually gives a pretty good example of how trigger points in the glutes can refer tension all the way into the lower back and down the legs. Some people think they’ve got a back problem when the source is actually around the hips and rear.

A good massage shouldn’t feel clinical and disconnected from the reality of how the body works. The body is one connected system.

So yes… sometimes saving your back starts with someone working your butt 😌

Cheers
Pat

G’day everyone!

There’s something I’ve realised since starting massage work full time. A lot of men are touch-starved. And I think many of us are ashamed to admit it.

People immediately sexualise the idea of men wanting touch from other men. But honestly? I think it goes much deeper than that. I think there’s something very primal and human about touch itself.

Before humans could properly communicate with words, we communicated through body language, eye contact, grooming each other, physical reassurance, and touch. I think we’re wired for connection. Not just romantic connection. Human connection.

That’s why I think it’s perfectly okay for men to want to be touched by other men. Not necessarily sexually. Just safely. Comfortably. Without judgement.

When people come to see me, they’re coming for a genuinely decent massage. A safe space. A chance to switch their brain off for a while and let someone take care of them for an hour. The massage itself is always the priority.

And honestly, since doing this work, my own mental health has improved too. Not because I’m some weirdo getting off on touching people all day. Quite the opposite. I think doing this work satisfies something deeply human inside me too — the instinct to help, connect, calm, and care for other people.

There’s also something incredibly therapeutic about being touched by someone who actually knows what they’re doing with their hands. Your body relaxes. Your nervous system relaxes. Sometimes your mind relaxes for the first time in months.

If you come to see me, I’ll make you feel safe, looked after, comfortable, and appreciated.

Come for a massage. Your body — and your nervous system — will thank you for it.

Cheers
Pat

Certified Aussie massage therapist available today in Woolloongabba for sensual deep tissue & relaxation massage 🤝

✔️ Certified

✔️ Hygienic & Safe

✔️ Discreet & Private

✔️ Shower facilities & easy street parking

✔️ Safe space to explore

✔️ Fair & transparent pricing

✔️ Private home-based setting

✔️ Additional services available

Please check out my profile or website for more information. Happy to chat if you have a couple of questions!

-Pat

G’day everyone!

Hope you are all gearing up for a great weekend, even though the weather is pretty average. This weekend, I’m available Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday afternoon and evening.

Today, I thought I would share some of the tailored massage experiences I have put together for some of my clients, who I also consider to be good mates at this point. If any of this sounds good to you, let me know!

1. Massage content fantasy session

I have a client who loves to watch massage adult content. He told me about it, so I thought I would load some onto my iPad, place it below the massage table, and let him enjoy his favourite massage content while actually getting a sensual massage at the same time.

2. Temperature contrast massage

I have a client who is very tactile. I noticed that when I used a hot towel at the end of a session, he enjoyed it immensely. So, I suggested trying a massage where I use ice cubes and tiger balm (heat cream) to create contrast. Apparently, that was the best body slide he’d had!

3. Underwear fun

No judgement from me. Not necessarily my thing, but still kinda fun. I have a client who asks me to sell him the underwear that I massage him in each session. I’m more than happy to do this, as I think it is great when people have the confidence to know what they want and go after it!

4. Watch party

I feel a little… shy… sharing this. But yes, one of my regulars asked if he could watch me and my four-hands partner have some fun together. And I kind of enjoyed it, too. As long as what happens in the massage studio stays in the studio, it’s all good!

5. Watcher and the watched

I pair up two people: one guy who wants to be watched while being massaged, and one guy who wants to watch. I’ve done this a couple of times now, and it is pretty exciting, especially because both of them are strangers to each other. I feel pretty chuffed that people trust me enough to organise this for them too.

6. Learn to massage

I had a guy come to me, with permission from his partner, to learn some basic massage techniques that he could use at home. His partner has sent him back a couple of times! I massage him for five minutes, explaining what I am doing and why, and then I get on the table and he practises on me for five minutes, on repeat until the session ends.

7. Couples four hands

A couple comes to me, maybe once a month, for four hands. But my partner for the session is one of them! Each time it’s a different partner. It is fun, and a good way to spice things up, I reckon. I’ve also done four hands on a couple with my partner Max. Every ten minutes, we switched between clients. They said they had a blast and will be back for the same, but longer next time!

———

Sound a bit much for you? Of course, the majority of my clients choose either my standard or premium sensual massages (DM me for more info). Basically, a very decent therapeutic massage that can relieve tension, activate pressure points, promote alignment, and, as many of my clients say, help improve sleep, with some sensual fun included 😝. Basically, two birds with one stone. You’ll leave feeling relaxed and relieved, if you catch my drift.

I am body-positive, sex-positive, non-judgemental person, and genuinely just want to provide a safe space so that people can explore who they really are. I believe one of the greatest privileges we are awarded in life is the opportunity to understand oneself, and I hope to help you with that in my own way.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Have an awesome weekend. Massage can be fun, right? Come and see me if you’re tired, stressed, or even just a little curious.

Cheers,

Pat

0423340238 (text/WhatsApp - privacy & discretion guaranteed)

G’day everyone, Pat here. Hope your week is going well!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how many gay men carry guilt around sex. I know some of my clients do! I once did also…

It’s not just guilt after doing something “wrong”, but guilt around wanting it in the first place. Guilt around desire. Guilt around being touched. Guilt around enjoying your own body. Guilt around being seen as sexual at all.

And I don’t think that guilt appears out of nowhere.

A lot of us grew up learning, directly or indirectly, that our attraction was something to hide. Even before we had the words for being gay, many of us already understood that there was something about us we were supposed to keep quiet. Boys weren’t meant to look at other boys that way. Men weren’t meant to want tenderness from other men. Sex between men was treated as dirty, funny, dangerous, shameful, or just something people whispered about. That’s so gay!

So by the time we actually start having sexual experiences, we are not always starting from a place of freedom. We are starting from years of conditioning.

Some of that guilt comes from religion. Some comes from family. Some comes from schoolyard bullying. Some comes from AIDS-era fear. Some comes from media that either mocked us, erased us, or only showed gay sex as tragic or deviant. Some comes from the fact that even when society becomes more “accepting”, it often accepts gay people more easily when we are polite, respectable, coupled, domestic, and not too openly sexual.

Basically: “You can be gay, just don’t make us think about the sex part.”

And I reckon a lot of us absorb that.

Then later, even when we are adults, even when we are out, even when we know logically that there is nothing wrong with us, the body remembers. The nervous system remembers. Shame can sit in the body long after the mind has rejected it.

That’s why I think overcoming it is not just about saying, “sex is normal.” Of course sex is normal. But a lot of us need more than an intellectual permission slip.

We need to slowly rebuild a healthier relationship with our own desire. The way we were born.

That might mean learning to separate sex from shame. It might mean asking: do I actually feel bad about what I did, or was I taught to feel bad about wanting it? It might mean choosing partners who make us feel safe, respected, and human. It might mean slowing down instead of using sex to prove something, escape something, or numb something. It might mean talking openly with trusted friends instead of carrying everything alone. I know, not the easiest thing in the world for us blokes.

And for some of us, it might mean forgiving ourselves for the messy parts of our sexual history.

A lot of gay men had to figure this stuff out in secret. We didn’t always get healthy guidance. We didn’t always get gentle first experiences. We didn’t always get to grow into desire without fear attached to it.

So maybe part of healing is giving ourselves the kindness we should have received earlier.

I don’t think overcoming sexual guilt means becoming careless. It doesn’t mean ignoring boundaries, responsibility, consent, or emotional consequences. It means understanding that desire itself is not a moral failure.

Wanting touch is not a moral failure.

Enjoying your body is not a moral failure.

Being a gay man who wants sex, intimacy, affection, pleasure, or connection is not a moral failure.

A lot of us spent years being taught to shrink ourselves. Maybe healing starts with letting ourselves be whole.

Just a couple of things I’ve been thinking about. I’d love to hear your thoughts too.

Have a good one!

-Pat

MassagebyPat.com

Hey, this is Pat 👋

I am a certified Aussie massage therapist, based in Brissy. I use a hybrid of deep tissue & acupressure techniques, and my massages include a sensual element 🤫

🤝 Experienced & certified

👍 Friendly & approachable

🎉 Private home studio

🫰Four-hands and other optional extras available

Available Thursday through Wednesday. By appointment only. Kindly reach out if you have any questions!