u/juggernauth

Hello!

I'm a 39 years old french man living in France, close to Paris. I have my own house and I live with two cats (see sample pic here, happy to send more pics later). Full disclosure: the cat isn't enormous, I'm just compact sized: about 1,70m tall and 65kg (I don't own a scale so it may vary depending on the time of day), and I'm not responsible if you're measuring lengths and weights with body parts or other weird units.

If you're open to more than playing short term the following may be relevant, if not it will likely not be but if you've read this far you're probably just looking for ways to kill time right now anyway.

My thoughts on me:

I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not someone you'll love at first sight. I'm more of the quiet, weird guy who prefers to stay in the shadows and observe until it's the perfect time to act, rather than the guy who instantly becomes the center of attention upon entering a room. I'm a nice person but at the same time I'm one of those people whom you really start to appreciate after you scratch the surface a little bit and once you do, you'll discover a totally new guy . I focus on controlling things I can control and preparing for the things I can't. I believe in the power of positive thinking, I tend to focus on what's possible rather that obsessing over downsides/what has already gone wrong, because it isn't productive.

I grew up reading lots of books (and basically anything that had words on it) before I was doomed by the arrival of affordable computers and internet access. I like being active, at least mentally. I'm still working on the physical part, so if that's something you'd like to do, maybe we can be partners. Sometimes I'll lie in bed for hours after actually waking up, watching stupid youtube videos on my phone. I don't smoke, and I rarely drink.  I love video games (duh), everything about the environment, looking at random things and try to understand how they work, reading and learning, talking to my cats, walking in the forest, shopping for groceries on an empty stomach, cooking and squeezing butts. There's probably many more but squeezing butts is probably my favorite thing in the world so I drew a blank after writing that. I don't know if I believe in love languages but I generally love taking care of the people that matter to me, especially if they let me squeeze their butts. My favourite way of doing so is to cook for them.

My thoughts on relationships / ideal outcomes:

I would like to find something that could become a long term thing. Online is fun and necessary to get to know each other and when we can't be together, but online only gets old after a while. I'll want to squeeze that butt at some point. 

I've been through enough to know what kind of partner I am and the qualities important to me in someone else. I'll be happy to elaborate on that once we start chatting, but here's something you'll have to master before messaging me: honesty. No matter who you are or what you look like, if you ghost people you're a bad person and I don't want that in my life. I don't really have prerequisites that are set in stone, so I mostly don't care what you look like, your age or where you live. I don't have a type. If I like you, I'll know it pretty quickly. That being said, I don't believe you can control who you love and would likely throw all of my preconceptions out the window if the situation called for it.

NSFW me:

If you're reading this and it looks familiar, it's probably because it is. I've posted this ad before, I just felt it was time to update it, so that's what I'm doing right now. I'm typically in control but open to trying everything once or twice. I'm a big fan of free use and orgasm control. Not really into TPE and micromanaging but can consider exploring some aspects of those. There's much more so l'll happily go into details in our future chats 😉   My limits are pretty standard: not a big fan of poop, blood, or crimes against humanity. I like to experiment, test and learn about new things all the time. For science, of course. My toy box includes items that buzz, squeeze and bind among other things. Always looking to make it grow, and very curious about what's in yours as well.

What I'm looking for:

Ideally (but not mandatory) someone younger than me. Living in France or in close time zones, or willing to travel  and meet if we click together. Not allergic to cats. French or English speaking. Also, someone with natural intelligence, curiosity and culture. I like to see my sub take pleasure in exploring and fulfilling their fantasies, their desires, being their true selves. Someone I can do things with, and I'm counting SFW stuff too. I want to go out. See things. Learn things. I want to try new places to eat, I want to visit new places, and I want to share that with someone else. I can do many of those things on my own, but I just don't want to because I prefer sharing these experiences with others. So tell me about your passions or your unusual job, because even if I don't understand it all, I'll probably find it interesting! Make sure you have time to invest in this, whatever it could be. I won't be stalking you every minute of every day, but please be able to text somewhat regularly. There's nothing worse to me than trying to have a conversation with someone who replies every 3 days. I usually message back pretty quickly but that's because I'm never far from a computer or my phone. You don't have to be that way if that's not who you are, but know that if I like you I'll want to talk to you 😄

My friends/family reviews of me: 

"We love you but you're so annoying sometimes" - My sister in law

"You have beautiful hands" - Random comment from my mom

"You're my third best friend" - D., my first best friend

"That'll be 450€ for this month please" - My electricity company

"Could you please STOP MASTURBATING?" - Cat 1

"I'm hungry, feed me or I'll puke on the floor. Again." - Cat 2

I didn't mean to write a novel but we are where we are. If this sounds entertaining/interesting to you or you just want to react I'd love to hear it. Just don't be a ghoster please 😄