Help. Girls become upset and feel betrayed when they don't become my girlfriend.
It's a skill issue I know. But I can't think of a solution. My progress so far. I once to hooked up with a girl and then had the conversation explaining that we cant be a couple AFTER we had sex. She presumed we would,but nothing was discussed so she became very upset.
Different girl: I got that far again and I had this discussion BEFORE sex. She agreed to it and then retroactively changed the story. What I said: due to X reasons in my life I can't have a serious relationship.
What she heard: Despite having X reasons, I will overcome everything to have a serious relationship with her. So obviously she also blew up in anger despite me talking to her about it.
Different girl again: I discussed it before we met over text and I explained that we are keeping expectations low for now. (Didn't want to outright disqualify her in case we meet and I do like her enough). I could feel the temperature drop, but she still agreed to meet. We havent had sex, but there's clear attraction on both ends.
Basically what I'm asking is how do you set up a physical relationship? At what point should you have the talk that establishes that we are adults agreeing to be fwbs? I always believed this was an unspoken thing that women could infer, but it isnt. It hear stories about hookups and physical relationships all the time, but I'm beginning to believe that no woman actually wants that (and it's just a made up fantasy).