Okay, so this is going to be detailed, since I haven't seen any detailed trip reports yet about a similar experience. A good portion of this will be about sex but hopefully I have made it informative and not just graphic. (:
Some background - I have had about half a dozen experiences on various psychoactive substances. I have had 1 previous experience with mushrooms, a low dose in edible form at a concert. I am generally sensitive to substances and find that while I come up at a typical rate I usually have longer or more intense trips than other people in the same group with the same amount. Half a tab is a full trip for me, as is about 12 mg of 2CB.
My typical prep is lots of water, good sleep, being mindful of my meals the week of, and various supplements. I usually take some anti-nausea medication at least an hour before the trip so it has time to work, and will also take either a small amount of pre-gab or phenibut to avoid unwanted sensory side effects. I find I often have weird things happen on trips, like continually smelling onions in my nose the entire time, despite no onions being in the house. I skipped all of my usual supplements and medications for this trip so I could assess what the side effects were like without any 'help'. I did take my usual creatine in water the day of and before, and I did take PT-141 the evening before at my usual dose to help coax the trip towards a more sexual experience mentally. Looking back on it now this felt unnecessary, like putting a drop of water in the ocean.
I planned to drop around 12:30. I made sure my space was tidy, and set up my living room for the trip: I burned incense that reminds me of my BF, closed the blinds, turned on fairy lights, got my playlist going (Glass Beams), got my water and toys laid out, blankets ready, and turned on my rainbow shifting overhead lights. I was in a generally good place mentally, and had the whole day to myself. I chose a warm, clear weekend day in case I wanted to go outside. I was tripping alone but my BF was available via text until he was off work. I timed it so I would peak when he was at lunch.
- 12:45 - took 3 Xum tabs
- 01:00 - felt a slight amount of transient anxiety. It was extremely brief. Started to stretch and listen to the music.
- 01:10 - decided to go for a walk with my dog. Found myself annoyed on the walk which is typical from my previous experience. I sometimes get annoyed easily when coming up for some reason.
- 01:30 - came back from the walk, and tried to stretch some more and focus on the playlist I had playing. Did not notice any change in headspace, body load, or anything else at this point.
- 01:40 - made an educated decision, based on the expectation from the Xum website and Psychonaut wiki, to take a 4th Xum tab as I was worried about being stuck in the annoyed, uncomfortable come-up stage and not progressing further. I knew I could handle a full trip if it did kick in. Not sure if this choice extended the trip or elevated the trip to a higher level. I think it may have done some of both based on the timings of later events.
- 02:10 - While texting my boyfriend during his lunchbreak, I experience a sudden onset of bodily sensations. It is warm, melty, and very heavy. My body feels like it is sinking into itself. It feels pleasant. I decide this is the right time to progress into the next stage I have planned. Because I would like to use this for partnered intimacy in the future, I wanted to know how it would feel solo first.
- 02:20 to 03:40 - The bodily sensations have fully kicked in now. No notable visuals except the background feels sort of distant and blurry, and when I look in the mirror something about my body seems to warp slightly. No change to pain perception as on acid. No change to temperature perception as on acid. I do not feel physically stimulated or any additional energy. But physical touch is pleasurable. I also start to notice some jaw pain which almost always gets worse when I trip due to having TMJ. I start by just massaging my body, then go to fingers and eventually toys. I have no issue becoming aroused, being wet, or orgasming. I am naturally multi orgasmic. It feels easy now, and I cum at least 10 times over the course of the next hour, even though I was not aiming to go for as many orgasms as possible. I am aware enough to be able to use my phone and camera, and understand how to use the buttons. There is a notable lack of confusion. It feels like my body is easily able to relax and stretch to accommodate any size toy I want to use. I have a lot of fun filming myself. My mind wanders to thinking about the divine feminine, Kali, feminine power, sexuality, creation and my relationship to sexuality while I do so. I feel very connected the primal, earthy, base sacral Chakra part of myself. I feel like I can see my sexual being very clearly and how that plays into my life, who I want to attract, and how i connect to others. This is an energy I want to manifest more intentionally outside of this space, and I recognize that blending sexuality and the scared is something I want to do and is perfectly normal. I feel self-assured, like a huntress or female lion. This is overall an affirming, positive experience.
- 03:45 - I decide to take a shower and wrap things up. Shower doesn't feel as pleasurable as it does on acid but still feels very nice to get clean and wrap up that phase of the trip. My thoughts from earlier continue, and I am able to explore ideas I have about motherhood and whether or not I want to have children and if that will be possible for my life. Then I start thinking about my ex. He was the first and last person I'd had trip experiences with and introduced me to the world. We parted on bad terms. I was assaulted at his birthday party by one of his friends, who I think targeted me because of my lack of experience, and I felt totally unprotected and abandoned by him as he went off to do his own thing. I was able to process this and come to some catharsis about the experience, and feel good that I was reclaiming these sort of trips for myself on my own terms.
- 04:10 - I wrap up the shower and cuddle with my dog on the couch. At this point I notice a slight headache building in the background. I put on a walking around POV youtube video of someone going through a wooded village in the mountains. It's very pleasant -- and I notice during this how bright the colors are! the wood brown becomes bright orange, and the greens are brilliant almost lime green. When I look outside from my window I do not notice anything different; the screen seems to be uniquely enhanced. The chat I have opened with my boyfriend seems to be waving like seaweed under the ocean.
- 05:00 - I switch to watching cartoons. I put on Bluey because it is free and streams 24/7. It's really cute and easy to watch. I make myself a light snack of sliced pear and mango. I do not eat most of it, but I try because I have not eaten since 10 pm the night before. The pear is good but the mango tastes too ripe. I am often sensitive to the ethylene gas put off by ripe and cut fruit and vegetables while tripping so this makes sense to me. I process some things in the background while watching about my life, career, and the world around me.
- 06:30 - I decide to go outside on a second walk. About 10 minutes into the walk, I feel a break, like I know I am coming down finally. The sun is really pleasant. I don't notice any visuals or enhancements, but I do enjoy the sun. I have some more thoughts about my ex, and how it seemed like he was attracted to the parts of me that were wounded and weak. And how the more I healed and got better, the more distant he was. I was unsettled with the realization that someone I thought at the time had treated me well was obviously emotionally neglecting me and I excused it. And I was disturbed that he might have liked me because I wasn't doing well. But it felt like I was seeing the experience from a new angle I hadn't let myself see before.
- 07:00 - come home from the walk. My boyfriend is back from work and we spend a long time chatting about my experience and thoughts. I was surprised at how deep my intellectual experience was. I had assumed from past reports that it would be much lighter, less confrontational. But I do believe this substance has a great ability to give you a new perpsective, emotional insight, and spiritual connection. It does not feel that different from acid in thought pattern, except less confusion and less altered headspace. At this stage I feel like I am still in the trip, though the heavy feeling in my body is fading.
- 08:35 - I go back to watching stuff on YouTube, this time watching some funny youtube videos. I feel sleepy. I am surprised by this. I was expecting to be energized, but instead I have largely felt earthy, rooted, and heavy. Not stoned but not interested in running around or dancing. I try to take a nap but it does not feel possible. I sit down instead to edit the trip porn I made for my boyfriend.
- 09:15 - I finish the editing, and go back to talking with my boyfriend some more, and help him enjoy the video I made for him. We spend most of the rest of the evening talking about how to share this experience together in the future.
- 10:00 - I finally feel like the trip has lessened enough to eat, but nothing sounds good so I make some bright lemony pasta for myself and eat something. I don't have a huge appetite but I do get about half a serving in. I take a painkiller for the headache.
- 01:15 - I head to bed, feeling that the trip has passed. I believe I was solidly in it for at least 7 hours, and was in the comedown for several more after that. I do not experience any kind of afterglow that night or today. The headache goes away but I find I cannot go to sleep until at least 2:30.
And that is my experience! I am excited about doing this again, and will try 3.5 tabs at the start, probably chewed so the comeup is not so long, with a smaller amount of prepatory supplements beforehand to avoid headaches and mild nausea. The side effects were extremely mild and easily managed. I would say not to underestimate this chemical. It is not just a mild, hedonistic RC. It is a full-blown trip experience with all of the emotional weight and exploration that can entail. Maybe a lower dose would be different but to me, it feels less weighty than acid but moreso than 2-CB. Please respect this chemical! I am not normally a spiritual person day to day and this really put me in that headspace easily. Happy exploring. Happy to answer any questions. I know solo female sexual experiences have not previously been reported, but I would wholeheartedly recommend this for that purpose.