How do you handle not fitting Dom stereotypes?
So i'm a switch and over the past few months i've realized i actually lean quite heavily Dom. I'm also an early-transition trans guy and a stone top. Anything adjacent to dom bottoming makes me incredibly dysphoric, so i won't be including that in what i'm talking about.
While i logically know that people of every life experience can be Doms, and i would never think this about somebody other than myself, i can't help but struggle with the overarching image of the "ideal Dom" that i see around me. Specifically, i feel like what i should be to be a proper Dom is an older, stoic, cisgender man. I've been trying to learn how to dominate and i've been gathering scene ideas and most sources i look to for inspiration tend to have the Dom fit into that ideal. At the same time, everyone i know who is into men who isnt a Dom themselves is really attracted to that ideal, basically above all else. I understand where that fantasy comes from, and people tend to also be open to those who aren't that, but i do feel a bit like a consolation prize to anyone who would play with me. Subs vary in their desires, but this is definitely the most common want as far as i've seen. I'm not trying to shame anyone for their preferences, of course, but it's hard to have no feelings over not being the one preference everyone seems to have.
This whole thought process is also making it a bit harder for me to feel dominant. I've had my best experiences when i was completely confident in myself and none of this was even a consideration in my mind.
How do i handle these feelings? Has anyone else struggled with not fitting that mold? If you've had trouble fitting Dom stereotypes in other ways i'd also love to hear from you.