u/patheticdeniedpussy

I'm constantly thinking about my pussy and thinking about how it defines me, and I can't do anything about it so I might as well embrace it. I sometimes dissociate and open reddit just to look at porn and picture myself as the girl. I managed to go 4 days without cumming then I ruined yesterday. Don't worry my clit got very painful punishments. She's already needy and hard again today. So are my nipples. I haven't even edged yet today. I need to finish a certain amount of house chores in order to earn edges. I do 15 minutes of edging per hour of housework. I made these rules myself to turn into a good girl. Do you think it's fair? I also like to wear a short skirt and form fitting tops so I don't forget I have feminine hard nipples. Sometimes I'm just naked with thigh socks on. I like to experiment with humiliating slutty outfits to make myself more dysphoric. The only time I'm allowed to have panties is if they're holding a vibe toy on low (so I don't cum) while I do chores until the toy dies. I'd love to get a chastity belt one day to wear while I do chores. I've started playing with my breasts when gooning and thinking about my biological purpose and how many strangers see me as a girl when they look at me. My hair is so long it tickles my nipples when I'm naked. All this to say the detransition programming seems to be working. I feel so girly, and now dysphoria makes me so wet and needy. I didn't think I could actually become a porn addicted goonette if I tried to detrans myself, now I am porn. My tits and pussy are porn on the internet and I'm constantly wet thinking about how many people are using my girl body as goon fuel 😵‍💫 It would be so humiliating if I actually detransition and become a cum addicted slut. My biological purpose is taking over. My pussy controls me. Should I find someone to control my pussy?

Turning into a goonette might actually cure me. Not from gender dysphoria but from all silly thoughts like transitioning, maybe all thought will be replaced with porn and rubbing. I trained myself to be horny when I'm dysphoric making me more dysphoric, so I goon more, and it's a self feeding cycle making me constantly slutty, girly, dysphoric and dripping. Maybe my purpose is to be a brainless wet pussy. My body is already free porn available to all of the internet. My pussy is trained to crave attention. Next is being a slut in real life. Any ideas for slutty things I can do? I just feel like I'm meant to be a goonette, and pleasure others for praise and attention because it makes my goonette pussy feel good. Am I a silly girl for letting my pussy control me? Maybe. Am I a good girl? I hope so 😖🍑🎀

I have to shave my pussy and dress like a slut or naked and rub my soft slippery pink pussy, edging to "good girl," porn with girls that have my deadname, and detrans porn in order to cum. I picture myself as the girl when I watch porn. In lesbian porn I picture myself as the bottom. I grew out my hair. I trained myself to only cum if I do something girly, stuff my pussy with dildos, or ruin. I love ruining my orgasms. My favourite way to ruin right now is with a leather crop to my clit multiple times until my pussy stops contracting, or using a huge rough textured dildo and fuck my cunt rough with it. I can't explain how or why the pain feels so good, but I can only cum from pain after edging for a long time. I love the thought of being slutty in public and going by my deadname again. I hope I get groped and fingered by a stranger.