u/pervertIndia

I keep seeing the concept of "choreplay" talked about all over the internet, the idea that a man doing housework is a major turn-on for women and helps boost intimacy. I’m trying to understand how true this actually is, because my personal experience has been very different.To give some context, I take on a massive share of our household duties in cooking, laundry and general home maintenance.

My wife doesn't appreciate or acknowledge it. When I’ve brought it up, her stance is that this is simply my job as a co-adult living in the house, so it shouldn't require praise or change how she views me.This has left me feeling a bit confused.

I have struggled with performance anxiety with my wife. I find myself constantly (in my head) worrying that I won't be able to satisfy her. She has a bisexual history, and I’ve developed an irrational fear that I can’t provide the same variety or level of pleasure she’s had previously.This pressure to perform is starting to affect my ability to stay in the moment and stay erect.

- For those who have felt 'outclassed' or pressured by a partner's dating history, how did you stop comparing yourself?

- What are some mental 'icebreakers' or techniques to stay present when you feel that anxiety creeping in?

- How do you shift the focus from 'providing pleasure as a task' to 'enjoying the experience together'?

Hey everyone, I’ve been thinking about how much variety there is with sex positions and wanted to hear about your experiences. What positions do you love (and why), and which ones don’t really do it for you?

Here’s what I’ve found with my wife:

Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl are easily my favorites. She can control the angle and depth really well, and it hits completely different spots inside her depending on how she moves. The visuals are great too. Plus, our sessions last way longer in these positions, we often go 35-40 minutes without me feeling like I’m going to finish too early. Really intimate and pleasurable for both of us

Missionary is super simple and reliable. Great for a quick, passionate fuck when we don’t have much time or energy. It gets the job done, but it feels pretty vanilla most of the time.

Doggy is hot in theory. I love the view, the way her ass bounces, and giving it a good spank. The problem is I struggle to stay inside her consistently. I keep slipping out, which kills the rhythm. Any tips for that?

I’m curious about you all. What are your go-to positions? Do you have any that feel amazing for her but are tricky for you (or vice versa)? Any positions that surprisingly became favorites over time? Also, how long do your sessions usually last in different positions?

I’m in my late 30s and have been happily married for 10 years. Lately, I’ve been hitting a wall in the bedroom and could use some perspective or advice from anyone who has dealt with something similar.

The Issue:

I can get an erection without much trouble, but my actual level of sexual arousal feels "numbed" or distant. A few nights ago, my wife and I had sex for about 20–25 minutes. Physically, everything was working, but I simply could not ejaculate. This has never happened to me before in my life, and honestly, it’s a bit alarming.

The Context:

Work and life stress have been at an all-time high lately.

I feel "stuck in my head" during intimacy, thinking about stressors instead of being present.

My drive is there mentally, but my body feels like it’s lagging behind.

Has anyone else experienced "delayed ejaculation" or a drop in arousal due to burnout?

What steps did you take to "turn your brain off" and get back to normal? Should I be looking into blood work, or is this strictly a mental game?

Thanks in advance.