I'm working on my approach anxiety. I've got all the mindset/theory down, but need more real-life reps. I've been searching this sub for examples.
The specific scenario I want to crack:
Party bar (lively dance floor but plenty of areas to talk/mingle), girl is in a larger group of friends. Her and her friends are clearly out to meet people. They're in the middle of the dance floor, scanning the room, opening up when guys approach. Not a closed-off bachelorette/birthday.
What's working for me:
- Dancing near each other → eye contact → turn toward each other → I introduce myself
- Situational openers when something notable is happening nearby
Where I keep stalling:
- Direct openers when there's nothing situational to grab, or no other signal of a green light yet
- Drifting into 'interview mode' mid-conversation, which kills the sexual chemistry
For context: once the ice is broken I do pretty well. Social, conversational, often hit it off and she gladly gives me her Instagram. But the goal here is to go home with somebody.
What I'm asking for:
- Stories of direct openers you've used in this scenario
- Conversation threads/topics/moves that kept things playful and built tension instead of Q&A
I feel like I don't have examples of how successful flirty conversations actually flow in this environment, so I keep falling back on the same patterns. Any other tips / advice is welcome! Thank you!