45 [F4M] #Atlanta - Here's what I don't want
There's a great scene in Hell or High Water where a waitress tells them they'll be ordering a t-bone steak, a baked potato, and then says, "What don't you want?" She was talking about side dishes, but I'm gonna talk about you.
I'd like to order up a fun and energetic LOCAL partner in his 40s who hasn't lost his spark and succumbed to middle age mediocrity and mundanity. Smart, good at banter, funny and hot enough to have confidence and a little swag. You don't take life too seriously, but have high enough emotional intelligence to understand your own behavior and how others might perceive it. We're here to have fun and especially have hot sex, but we're also humans with feelings that don't need to get hurt. I just want someone to be silly with me. I crave silly.
And homeage to a great movie, here's what I don't want:
- Lying. Whether it's about your age, your height, your body... When I meet you and it doesn't all add up, it's the biggest turn off. Why would I start an affair with someone I couldn't trust with observable facts? This is about trust and transparency.
- A q&a session where you pepper me with questions about my marriage. It's the usual reasons! And it's my least favorite topic. Be in the present with me. Get to know me as a woman, not as a wife who doesn't get enough attention. I'm also not your marital therapist, please pay someone if you want to gripe.
- A spousal panopticon. If you can't unshare your location, hide a hotel charge, or chat evenings/nights, I'm not interested. There has to be a little risk for this reward, and I'm not up for half-assed texting during your work day and a 30 minute hookup in your car. Be a grown-up who can make time for me and handle logistics. Be willing to switch to telegram for regular conversations; I shan't be trapped in reddit chat purgatory.
- Endless small talk. Please for the love of god don't asking me what I'm doing (and especially not "wyd") every damn day. I'm doing the same shit I always do. Give me a funny story, say something funny or sweet, send me a meme that made you think of me... don't interview me about my activities and the weather.
- Transactional "one sex please" type conversations where you immediately want to start sexting and set up a meet. My brain wants to be attracted to your brain or my body's opinion won't matter. Charm me. Make me laugh. Bring out the best in me, make me bring my chat A-game to keep up with you.
- Anyone who describes themselves as centrist, Republican, or conservative. I don't currently respect the values (or lack thereof) in those positions and I don't want to be around you.
- Romance and yearning. I'm in this for fun. I don't delude myself that we're in a real relationship; neither of us wants to leave our spouses, so lets keep the feelings light... affection, not love. excitement, not yearning. friendship, not fiction.
- Responses that say "I'm 34 is that ok?", "I think it's fine to be centrist" or "Prove you're not a bot". And none that say, "Tell me more about yourself," or "Hi" either. I'm gonna get a lot of responses and I'm gonna ignore low effort or poor reading comprehension. If you like what I wrote, you send a message (don't leave a comment on the post, that makes you look like you don't understand the computer), and know that your opening salvo needs to be some solid work.
Me? I'm a playful and smart as heck woman in my mid-40s who isn't nearly as bossy as this post makes me look (I'm just tired of nonsense wasting my time). People tell me I'm funny and I love to "yes, and" in banter and sharing stories. My brain is slightly rotted from too much internet, but in the way that makes me funny. Big eyes, big thighs, and a killer smile. I'm confident and comfortable with who I am and I think I'm a catch. I'm closer to a jeans & a t-shirt gal than a dresses and skirts gal, but I have a casual comfortable style that's not at odds with sexiness.
See you in my DMs. Don't bring me anything I don't want.