My thoughts on training subs
I enjoy men who are accommodating, or receptive, (which are typically submissive men), but what I don’t enjoy is feeling like I have to “train” someone into being a functional partner or an emotionally intelligent adult.
Some submissive men seem to mistake submissiveness for passivity, helplessness, or needing constant instruction. I don’t want to micromanage someone into showing consideration, initiative, attentiveness, or basic care. Those should come from natural emotional growth, genuine affection and common sense - not from being told step-by-step what to do.
For me, a healthy dominant/submissive dynamic works best when the submissive man already has self-awareness, competence, and emotional intelligence (and common sense). I need the relationship to feel like a conscious dynamic between equals, not like I'm taking on the unpaid role of a therapist, life coach, or parent.
I want someone who chooses to be giving, supportive, attentive, and eager to please because that’s part of who they are - not because they’re waiting to be taught basic relationship standards or relying on me to carry all the emotional and mental labour.
The appeal of dominance is completely lost when it starts to feel less like chemistry and more like managing someone.
I want a man who understands submission, not one who thinks it's a way to offload responsibility, decision-making, or emotional maturity onto a woman under the label of “submission.”
Too many sexualise "training", and make it a fantasy - while ignoring the reality of the emotional labour for the woman. Being expected to constantly correct, guide, reassure, motivate, and organise another adult can become exhausting very quickly.
If you can't make my life easier - then I have no interest in being with you. I want a partner, not a burden or a chore.