Drugs
Posting on a burner. I’m so so worried about my man, since he got moved to a different prison a few months ago he has completely changed for the worse. Constantly asking me for money to send to different cashapps, 30,40,50,70,200 dollars at times! (Most days of the week!) He knows how much it hurts me and he keeps promising each time will be the last time. He is killing me, I heard from my cousin who has a friend in the same prison, saying that fentanyl is everywhere in the prison and I am so so scared that he’s going to end up killing himself over this! I’ve had him blocked since yesterday, because some of the things he has said to me have been so so hurtful. Calling me a slut, whore, retarded, ugly, worthless just because I refuse to send money. Then he has countless people calling me and texting me apologizing for what he’s saying, and I genuinely feel so upset and sorry towards him I end up unblocking him and believing that he will really change. He has deleted both me and his mother off his tablet, he looks awful like a completely different person when I see him (no haircut, eyebrows, beard not done etc which usually he takes a lot of pride in). We have a visit coming up which he is always threatening to cancel, his mom is telling me to just not show up, but I know that him being able to see me in person is something he has been looking forward to, and I don’t want to let him down and cause him any more pain that makes him want to turn to drugs even more. He tellls me he only wants money for suboxone, but ever since hearing about the fentanyl problems in his prison I am worried for him. I’ve blocked him because I love him and I care for him, I don’t want to enable his habit but I always just end up doing it because of feeling a guilt towards him, that he doesn’t have anybody or anything and it makes me so upset but his constant phone calls and messages about money are making me seriously sick! He is due to get out next year too. I’m just worried about him 😩 I know that he probably doesn’t mean anything that he says, and it’s just the drugs talking but it hurts so much