u/quack785

I miss the full body hugs, as opposed to side hugs or a firm hand pressed on my chest to keep our bodies separate.

I miss French kissing, as opposed to pecks on the lips.

I miss being able to be naked around each other, as opposed to an ear splitting scream if I see her in any state of undress or her hurrying out of the room and averting her eyes if I start changing.

I miss snuggling at night and feeling each other up, as opposed to getting my hand slapped if I try to touch her body and her showing no interest in touching my body.

I miss the default answer being an enthusiastic “Yes!”, as opposed to the default answer being a groan, a sigh, or “Really?”

I miss exploring each other’s bodies and trying new things, as opposed to “we’re too old for that”.

I miss her sitting on my face and how good she tasted, as opposed to “God will judge those who do disgusting things like that”.

I miss sexual innuendos and jokes, as opposed to “When are you going to grow up?”

I miss one of us reading a book while the other went down on them and seeing how long they could read before they had to stop reading because they were coming, as opposed to “That’s never going to happen again. Gross.”

I miss being totally honest with each other, as opposed to having to filter everything before it’s said so as not to cause offense.

I miss the time that even if we weren’t able to have sex for good reason on occasion, another opportunity would be close by; as opposed to wondering if/when it’ll ever happen again.

I miss being able to laugh together, as opposed to being an unpaid therapist for someone determined to be unhappy with everything in life.

I miss my best friend, not this woman who has taken over her body. Maybe I’ll find her again when I leave soon, once my affairs are in order. I know she’s out there somewhere. Hope springs eternal, I suppose

It’s pretty well established that when consent is respected, the partner with lower libido solely decides when the opportunity for sex is allowed to happen.

For those that are struggling in their relationships/considering leaving their partner, would being the only one to decide when the opportunity for sex can occur change how you felt about your relationship? Or would that feel weird?

Now, I’m not referring to sex on demand, or medical situations where one partner is unable to. Kids, if any, are grown up so it’s just the 2 of you.

But if one partner takes sole control of determining when there’s an opportunity for sex, and for non medical reasons doesn’t allow the opportunity to arise for weeks, months, years? Is there any point to the marriage at that point? Or are there still things you can get from the relationship that you simply can’t get elsewhere?