Deep in a cuckold/humiliation dynamic with my 18 year old girlfriend, but starting to feel conflicted and want more
I’ve always had strong humiliation, cuckold, and simping kinks. For a long time it was just fantasy, jerking off to girls I couldn’t get, developing insecurities that turned into fetishes.
Now I’m in a real relationship where those kinks have become everyday life. My girlfriend is petite, blonde, with an incredible body (tiny waist, perfect ass, cute feet, soft everything). We moved in together fast because I wanted to be around her constantly.
It started with foot worship and light chastity. Things escalated when I got her a huge BBC dildo. Watching her take the whole thing — belly bulging, eyes rolling, body shaking and gasping — showed me something I’ve never been able to do to her.
She’s been very open about her past and is down for pretty much every kink. She’s fucked a BBC guy for two hours where he made her cum multiple times. Her ex had a massive dick and they used to go at it constantly. She’s sent nudes to other guys, been with several men, and admits she usually met up after seeing dick pics. She’s told me I’m not as big as what she’s used to and our sex life has basically become centered around my smaller size, me eating her out, foot worship, and talking about her with other men.
We’ve been together 1 year almost, she even agreed to fuck one of her exes but I chickened out at the last moment. She’s gone on dates with one other guy and got in the backseat with him for an hour and came home at 1am, said she didn’t do anything, but who knows, her social media is full of hotter men (especially Black guys), and I regularly jerk off to her old nudes she sent to others.
She lives with me, helps with cooking, cleaning, laundry, and I spoil her. I have her name tattooed on me. The relationship revolves heavily around me being her simp/cuck.
Here’s the conflict: I don’t actually love her. she tells me she loves me, but I get bored of girls fast. Lately I’ve been fantasizing about worshipping new girls, their asses, feet, and bodies, and simping for others on the side. I want it so bad, to find new girls, to DM them, offer them money, maybe even be lucky enough to get friend-zoned and worship their feet
A lot of people would love to be in this spot. Should I lean all the way in, I was thinking actually watching her get fucked by a real BBC will result in me breaking and being desperate, when she feels a better man, wants him again and more, maybe it’ll bring the old spark back? Ive never ACTUALLY been cucked, so… maybe Im not turned on by being dominated and owned, but every girl i have been with after some time i start craving more or others. Maybe attraction for me is based off value, when I can’t get a girl I am desperate, when I have her, I want the ones I can’t get.