Repeatedly cheating on my [25F] boyfriend has made me love him more.
I want to start off by saying that I genuinely love my boyfriend more than anything in the world. He is my perfect guy always so caring and loving. I have never laughed so much as I have when I am with him and I can truly see me building a life with him. So grateful.
We've been together for six years, and throughout all those years I have never held myself back from meeting new guys. He has a pretty demanding career and I know he does his best to give me time
I am not even sure why I pursue other guys, I just love the attention and comfort I get when being with another man. I made a new group of friends that wouldn't know him so that I could go out drinking/partying with them and hooking up with hot guys. I bought a 2nd phone that I keep hidden at work. Also, every time I talk to a guy it reminds me of how awful some men are which makes me cherish my boyfriend so much more.
To be honest, I enjoy sex with my BF a lot its just different than sex with hookups. With my BF, its more sensual and passionate while with hookups its more freeing and intense in a different way. Unsure how to describe it.
I recently moved in with him, but i have been seeing this other guy every other day. I noticed that whenever I would come back home from hooking up with this douchy fwb guy I would be extra loving to my partner. I am so attentive to his needs and pleasures and do whatever he needs done to help him out. Its just this extra boost of love I give to my BF. Not sure what is wrong with me but.....I do not feel ANY guilt. I am actually proud of who I am. I get tested regularly to make sure he is safe.
I know he is planning on proposing soon, but unsure if I will actually stop.