Anyone relate?
I (F24) think the title is pretty self explanatory. But what I'm doing here is to just.. idk.. I haven't talked about this with anyone really. Only like referred to it like "haha yeah would love to get kidnapped!". But I've never talked about it like that deeply. Like this shit goes all the way to my childhood. For as long as I can remember I've liked the idea of being held at gunpoint, kidnapped, interrogated.. whatever. Even like fantasized about abusive relationships.
I think it's more like having the fear of another human.. Like what they could do to me or maybe they're threathening my life or smth.. Like it's not sexual at all. Or I might get turned on but wouldn't want to act on it or have it acted on.. Usually.
Like when I was a kid I wrote down stories of a character being held captive and/or interrogated so I could read it and have that pinch in my stomach and it made it easier for me to imagine the "scenes". That was until I learned of character ai. Been using that a lot for those scenarios but it just makes me want to experience it in real life even more. Like yeah in a safe environment with a safeword and all.
Now, the thing is. In real life like in a real life situation, I do not like it. I've had an abusive relationship and back then having to fear for my life really was not enjoyable! It was only after those incidents that I started "romanticizing" them too, maybe to "get back the control" or whatever the therapists say.
But I'd really like to try this but people don't say it outloud like "yeah i'm a sadist i'll kidnap you for the weekend" so i think it's just more up to having good luck finding someone who matches it like that..
Like what would be perfect for me is like yeah discussing it prior to actually trying it, boundaries and all but I'd love to get manhandled and my life threathened and tied up and what not.. Like interrogated of something I can't say so I get tortured for the information.. you know?