Is it salvageable or time to move on ?
I’ve been married for 20+ years to a woman, got married young. She was out as bi when we met, I came out some years later.
It became clear I think to both of us that I was increasingly less interested in her (and never showed any interest in other women) and increasingly interested in guys. We tried incorporating porn into our sex life at one point and I responded very strongly to gay porn and not at all to anything with women in it. Sex life got to a point (for years) where I needed to watch gay porn to get hard with her and needed to finish with her on her stomach and using a healthy dose of imagination.
We tried an open relationship at her suggestion (I really had very limited prior experience with men), which led us both to figure out we were mostly sexually interested in the same sex. Our sex life pretty much stopped about 5 years ago; about a year ago we started keeping separate rooms. About 3 nights a week I go out with guys (some dates, some FWBs) and about 3 nights a week she goes out with women. I feel at times I’m gay, other times that I’m bi, but very gay-leaning. I tend to notice attractive women more in public, but don’t feel any sexual desire for them like I do with men. Usually the minute I think anything sexual about a woman I immediately lose interest. At the same time I’d like to try and go back to what we once had (I do still love her), but don’t know it’s possible at this point.
Looking for honest thoughts. Please be nice.