u/throwawaysaunaclubfk

Before I start, I wanted to give an additional rating system to my looks and room, Room Again. Now, I’m different than other reports in the way that I have a habit of rarely repeating with women. I enjoy the novelty of different women more than the promised consistency of service. Call me a gambling man. So if you see a high or absolutely, please understand that means a lot in my books. So there’s 3.

Low;  very unlikely.
Medium; Yes, good, but I would still be looking around and weighing my options. If there was absolutely no one I was interested in, I would go again.
High; Yes, it was that good. Where having sex with this person again is worth the novelty of 1-2 new rooms.

There’s also a discrepancy for my rating with Looks and Room, so let’s break down that. 

LOOKS
10/10 looks is your favorite celebrity or a fashion model you, me, and all our friends can objectively agree is stunning. At some point, it’s not about personal preference as much as it’s just, we all agree. I don’t think I ever found a 10/10 hence why there is no rating. 9/10 is top tier level escort hot, I haven’t found that in all my time. I’ve given multiple rare ratings for 8s before, and those are ones where I think everyone also agrees, having been to clubs, that they find very attractive.

ROOM
10/10 room is not possible for me. That’s sex on Molly; the most passionate, authentic, real world girlfriend sex where you are cumming in her raw. That won’t exist here. 9/10 room I believe are amazingly compatible physically and mentally, a build up of the nut and having an orgasm that makes your knees bend. Those don’t happen in these rooms of mine because I majority of the time, only do 30 minutes. 8/10 room is all things considered for the short small talk outside, the transactional part of sex, still a great service by the women who is a damn professional at her job, and not because she’s disassociating about what designer bags she’s going to buy with this money she’s about to get from you.

All in all, if you see 8s in either Looks and Room, I think that’s a great review. 7s are still solid. If I’m dropping 5s, something’s not right and working.

FKK SHARKS
August 22

The last time I was at Sharks was secretly last year. I didn’t write about it and didn’t have the best time. Didn’t have to do anything with Sharks or the women, just wasn’t in the best state of mind, despite the hundred naked women walking around.

Chiara, Rahel, Mara, Chantal

Long story short, I forgot what Chiara looked like. I can understand why people love Rahel, but personally not my thing. Mara gave me the craziest PSE 30 minutes of my life but I left Frankfurt with a bruised lip because she bit too hard. Chantal and I didn’t really connect. Roomed with Ruxy and Flory. For the life of me, I can’t really remember those either.

Now, fast forward to August 2026, I was in better spirits. I arrived at the club at around 3pm on this Saturday, and it was already packed. That got me excited. The energy seemed good. I looked around and saw a bunch of familiar faces, faces that look vaguely like someone but can’t put a name to it, and definitely new faces that I haven’t seen before.

Also, I’m Asian, but there was a lot of Asians dudes this time around. Like probably around 40. Never seen so many international and American Asians as today.

Let’s start with some opinions. I’ve been following the drama with the towel charge policy, and have spoken to a bunch of women about it. Some women think it’s bullshit, some are okay with it because they make so much money. Some women will ask for your key to pay for it, others will pay it themselves. I’ll tell you who in these reviews also, so you know what to expect if you’re paying a few extra euros or not.

First room was Lulu. Incredibly petite, braided pony tail. From Romania. My intention from the get to was to go for a booty babe Blonde so Lulu wasn’t cutting it for me. However, she is incredibly friendly. As much as she says she learns all her English from the club, there’s no way. Even another American that I met said it best “If she learned her good English here at Sharks, then what is up with every other girls here that can’t even speak decent English?” Granted, the club is in Germany, most repeat clients are probably German, and English might be an afterthought. At this rate, she’ll be fluent in Korean, Chinese, and Japanese by next year.

Lulu, her English was great so we had a good conversation. We took the room by under the fish tank (are the fish dead or are they always sleeping?). The blowjob was nice, sensual, her handjob with the blowjob is top tier, if I’m being honest. The best blowjobs have some hand coordination. Because it’s my first room, maybe? She looked me dead into, probably, through my soul in missionary and cowgirl. It was kinda creepy but kinda a vibe. She rode well and I’m starting to think all the petite girls can just take it better than some of the bigger women at the clubs. But this is probably a prejudice. Anyways, I came in doggy. We chatted some more. And the thing about Lulu is, for the rest of the night and the next Sunday, she would always come over and we would crack jokes, make fun, before she spotted her next Asian and said “see you.”

LULU
Looks 6.5
Room 6.5
Room Again? Low
Towel: She pays for 2.

I popped my viagra and looked around. There was this other pale Romanian with more of my body type. She sat mostly next to the dancing pole. I watched this woman, go room after room after room with asian after asian after asian and here I’m thinking two things. One is, I don’t think I ever had to wait this long for the opportunity to room with someone at Sharks. At most, I’ll get an opening by the 2nd time she comes back up onto the floor. I kid you not, I waited 4. I was thinking of what I could say to her when I finally had my chance. She sat down at her spot and I ushered her to look over.

When she came over I said “I think Asians have a type and this is the first time I’m realizing my own preferences.” She looked at me dumb and said “Oh, sorry.” Her English was not the best, as she speaks the most quietly, which didn’t help when Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back is blasting for the 3rd time. It was hard to make conversation with her, but I waited so long that this was my opportunity to make it happen. We agreed on BBJ + Sex 100430.

Her name is Miri. 22, a snack tattoo on her neck and heart on her left shoulder. She didn’t change her demeanor much. Her blowjob was slow and sensual, but not hands. It was actually the same room as I did with Lulu so I was judging the blowjobs in my hazy Groundhog Day room. Lulu’s better. But back to Miri. We did light kissing and DFK when I didn’t ask. I asked if I could touch her boobs and she just said “You do whatever you like, I am okay.” However I did not DATY, but I also found out later when she was trying to pitch her second room to me, that she doesn’t like DATY. I’m sure someone can confirm this for us. We did my usual missionary, cowgirl, and doggy and I came. She’s very GFE in the way that she loves to cuddle and make cute noises at anything you said. I could make the worst joke and she would just giggle, her eyes closing a bit and just leaning her head over to your shoulder. I get why the international asians love her. She’s like, made for them. Or me. Sigh. 

MIRI

Looks 7
Room 7
Room Again? Medium
Towel: She pays for 1.

While I recharged, I watched a man by the video machine table by the lockers and front door just try over and over again to demolish the record for Candy Crush. Fun guy to chat to. I sat on the chair to see what I missed; who was coming down from rooms that I haven’t seen yet, who’s freshly ready for another room coming from the girl’s shower area, and looking at the bar to see what girls are doing their laps. Before this, I was facing the dancing pole and I saw this beautiful woman lean over to her friend, say something in Romanian, before promptly disappearing and I just audibly said “Holy shit she’s the hottest women here.” It happened so fast that I was only able to register the unique Urban Outfitters charm necklace she was wearing. I said to myself, If I see her I have to say hello. Back to Candy Crush. It’s a hard game, especially trying to do it in the least amount of moves so you can hit perfect scores. And then I got tired of looking at the screen and this gentle wind smacks me in the face and I look up and this woman had just stopped by the lockers, holding her towel and standing by the lockers. She just had a room. And then I saw the necklace. And then I saw her body. Jesus Christ. I looked at her face. What the fuck. I got up immediately, walked up to her and said.

“Excuse me, what is your name?”
“Brenda.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“You want to room?” I don’t know why I hesitated. I thought about the last time I came and how I needed at least an hour in-between. What time was it? Dude, don’t say no, what the fuck.
“Yes.”
“Okay, I come find you later.”

Sometimes that didn’t really mean anything. I waited 5 minutes and she didn’t come, but it felt like 20 minutes of staring at those dude going hard with Candy Crush. My concept of time was slowly disappearing. Too poor for a Rolex, too snobby for an Apple Watch, but now I’m just too dumb to know how much time has passed. I went to grab a coffee. I did a lap, I couldn’t find her, and then I walked back to the video machine.

“Hello!” I turned around. It was Brenda.
“You told me to find you. I found you.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know where you were.”
“Me neither, I had to ask my friend where you were.”

We stood and chatted in our spot. Brenda told me she made up her mind that she was going to leave right after the room she did until I approached her. I asked her why she left so early, and her answer was, she just liked leaving by 8pm. I could respect that. We agreed on 100430, BBJ + Sex. She walked in front of me and honestly, for her size, her butt was nice. It’s not perfect for me, but who’s really talking about Brenda’s ass.

Now as I write this after the fact, there’s so many people that know Brenda, so I won’t get into it too much, I’ll just write my own description for the storytelling.

Brenda, without a doubt, is one of the most attractive women at Sharks, to me. It’s not really a conversation. Her hair is wavey and thick. Her face is model, eyes and brows sharp but inviting. Lips soft. Honestly her nose is nice too but let’s move on. Her breasts, probably at the pinnacle of best looking breasts I’ve ever seen at Sharks. The only one that I could remotely think about is Flavia at Andiamo, but I don’t think she even works anymore.

We got a room by the broken cinema, the 4 rooms before the bathroom in the back. Not my favorite but I didn’t want to wait for a room as it was starting to get busy. Do I want the mirror room upstairs? Yes. Do I sweat more than doing an infusion downstairs with the master? Yes. Do I want to wait? No. Brenda and I talked about her necklace. I spoke about her charisma to which she replied,

“Baby I’ve been doing this for many years.”
“How many?”
“Eight” or I think I heard something like eight.
“How old are you?”
“Thirty three”
“No way” What else am I supposed to say? “Yeah, sounds about right?”
“It explains how you’re so hospital and outgoing.”
“You have to be. But you also have to have it in here” She points to her heart
“Your boobs.”
“Yes, my boobs.”

I looked at Brenda giving me a blowjob, from my own POV, and without hesitation, Brenda in-between getting air before going back down on my dick, looks at my dick while speaking to me.

“You can look around, the view is better.” To be fair it did, almost like the way she sucked it looked better at those angles.
She apologized for being sweaty. I touched her thighs, it was moist, but it was hot, and I kinda liked it. It reminds me in my personal life, the real life sex of sweat on body. So much of the time I’ll touch the women and they’ll just have zero bit of perspiration. Anyways, we did missionary, doggy, and of course to end it, cowgirl. We spoke some more, before I asked her if she was here tomorrow and she said yes.

Dude, she’s absolutely hot. When I searched her name on the subreddit, I was like, oh this makes perfect sense. It just blew my mind I never saw her in all my time at Sharks, so I was lucky to catch her before she clocked out. Perhaps what makes her hotter is that fact that she’s incredibly attractive, knows it, but feels like there’s a whole other personality that lives outside of the clubs that we get a preview of, all while she maintains her professionalism of service. I get why everyone loves her. I think I do too.

BRENDA
Looks 8.5
Room 8
Room Again? High. #1 repeat spot for Sharks
Towel: She pays for 2.

You know, what comes up, must come down. This review will be quick, and slightly vicious, but well deserved on my part for not trusting my gut, doing my research on here, and on her for somehow continuing to be at Sharks.

Let’s talk about Doreen, the German that sits in the German corner at Sharks. I remember seeing her last time, but Zoe was just way more attractive. But now that she wasn’t here, I was looking for options for a nice great ass and hips to hold onto for dear life in my fourth room. From my preferences, I haven’t had a big ass yet. Lulu is not even a conversation. Miri is perky for her frame. Brenda’s great for her frame as well. Then I saw Doreen. Her ass cheeks winking at me every rare step she got off her chair to walk to the kitchen or the one lap she does around the club an hour.

I went up to her, made small talk about where we’re from. I asked her prices. She said 100430 CBJ. She gave me the whole spiel about safety. In theory I can understand it. My dick was telling me, I came for views from Doggy, not the blowjob. So I agreed, named the ass dominate positions and we went to the 4 rooms.

So, here’s when I heard CBJ I should’ve just walked away. Her blowjob, robotic and terrible. In cowgirl, she hovered and held her squat which wasn’t doing it for me. I didn’t find her face attractive so I skipped missionary and asked for doggy. Now, in doggy, what I was hoping to get was a face down, ass up situation, I got a cat stretching into a childs pose for Doggy. I put it in and went at it, and I was slightly hinting at her to kinda know, release the ass and tension. It was this weird angle that I just couldn’t make it work and said.

“Hey I don’t think this is comfortable for me. Is it possible you can have your ass out more?”
“No. This is as much as I go. This is what’s comfortable for me.”

I didn’t even know what to say. I just thought about how Lulu, the most petite chick at the club, can take a raw beating in doggy for like 8 minutes at pound town but this full grown bodied woman with an ass that’s bigger than her face can’t take my Chinese dick down? No way.

I immediately got soft. I was so repulsed by this bullshit. I got hard again and we tried again. Now she did the V, which so far on this trip, I haven’t experienced it at all. I forgot I didn’t have to worry about it. But lo and behold, here we are. The peace sign that makes any dick go soft. I’m trying my best to cum, my balls are just smacking onto her knuckles and it’s hurting and I just give up.

“It’s okay. This is not for me. Thank you.”

I wanted to leave, she was confused. Was she? You’re really confused why I can’t cum because of this terrible service? She started justifying the V and the doggy because she wanted to make sure that the condom was still on. I’m like lady, none of these dudes are trying to have a baby with you. We’re all aware. In fact, I can have the best view of the condom if you weren’t so hunched over.

She offered to give me a blowjob, or a handjob. I accepted a minute of a disappointing handjob before I said. It’s okay, we should go.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want you to have a bad experience.”
“It’s okay.”

I paid her the money and left. I showered my frustration and disappointment away. This is by far, the worst room in all my experiences at these clubs. I have done 108 rooms with 108 different women. This 109th room with Doreen takes the cake. Absolutely terrible. I never left a room, visibly mad. So here’s my warning to you. Don’t room with her. It’s funny because after that room, she left. Wasn’t there the next day on Sunday either. I think she makes money just sitting there, with zero effort, and hopes no one reads about her and then falls into the same trap that I fell into. I should’ve trusted my gut. Sometimes you see a woman who’s beautiful in their own way, but no ones taking them up to the room. It seemed like everyone else at Sharks, the regulars, and the international visitors who did their research, and others who trust their gut, knew that Doreen is terrible news.

ALSO, she’s 1 of 2 women at Sharks who made me pay for the towels. The other one we’ll get to in the next day.

DOREEN
Looks 6
Room 2
Room Again? High. #1 repeat spot for Sharks
Towel: She made me pay for 2.

Not cumming in the room is a terrible feeling. What was I going to do? Go back to my hotel room and masturbate? I’m at Sharks. I found Heleni, 25, Tall blonde in a ponytail, Romanian, busty and curvy. I told her how terrible of a room I had, I didn’t tell her the name as much as I described how she did a child’s pose for doggy and she bursted out laughing. I told her about the V thing and even Heleni said “Yeah that’s bullshit. If you know how to put a condom right and you can feel the dick is hard, what is there to worry about? At most you put your hand down there and check for 1 second, every few minutes, but not constantly.”

I felt so seen. I took her up to the room. We agreed on BBJ+Sex.

Good blowjob, intense and not too sensual. Standard positions, I came. She even let me touch her pussy, which I was surprised. I will say the only thing that’s not my cup of tea is the constant moaning. At one point I couldn’t even focus on cumming because she was just non stop. But it’s fine. I came. Thank God. We spent more time chatting than fucking because I was already so blue balled. She’s honestly so sweet, outgoing, and great at conversation. I saw some reviews after about how much people enjoy her time with her and I can see why.

HELENI
Looks 6
Room 6
Room Again? Low
Towel: She pays for 2.

After that room, I was spent. It was 1:30am, and the mood had shifted since those back to back rooms. It seems like some of the men were passed out on the couch, while an influx of groups of men, the one who looked like they were up to no good, about to drink a lot, possibly push some of women’s boundaries were flooding in. I could see more and more women looking at the front door, seeing what new clients were coming in and if they wanted to stay. Some did, and some didn’t. But it was my time to go, before coming back in less than 12 hours.

I gave them the key, paid my 2 euros, and left.
 
FKK SHARKS
August 23

I had woken up at 10am, my stomach growling. I thought, well, what am I going to do? Sit in this hotel? Might as well get food at Sharks. I arrived at 12pm, way before the 2pm 50euro deal ended. I had my coffee, smoked salmon, fruits, and eggs. Surprisingly a good amount of men, and very few women. Lulu was walking around and we chatted more about how they need a large playlist. It seems like they added 3 new songs that were trending from this summer’s EDM scene and that was about it. I don’t want to hear Justin Timberlake every day. I couldn’t imagine for the girls, hearing Justin Timberlake, every six hours, everyday, every week, every month, year to year.

Here’s my take; forget the towel drama. Change the music playlists. Because at the end of my Sunday night here at Sharks, they played some requests from the girls, and all the Romanian woman were dancing and it genuinely lifted their moods, for the all of ten minutes. Maybe it’ll make the women dance more, make the men feel a mood. I’m not suggesting it be a rager, but surely the music and food can’t be the same all the time. I get food is a whole logistic and cooking for hundreds of people, switching menus is a whole overhaul. But musical playlists doesn’t cost any money.

Speaking of how dirty it was on some of these posts, I found myself looking up at ceilings in the main room, bathroom, and rooms. It’s not all that dirty.

The main hall ceiling is so dark up there it’s impossible to see how much dust it’s collecting. The showers could do a cleaning above. After doing a sauna and showering outside the sauna, I would much rather shower here. The rooms, you’ll see some lube stains here and there, because 1-2 towels really can’t cover a lot of ground.

Anyways, there were two blondes that I really wanted to sleep with yesterday but wasn’t sure. One was this blonde who sat in the German corner. Young, blue eyes, but couldn’t really make her out. I did some research and assumed it was Mary but couldn’t tell. She wouldn’t end up coming back on Sunday. The other blonde sat by the dance pole. I asked her two friends where she could be. One said “She’ll be here maybe 7pm” and the other one said “I don’t know.” I don’t think they made good money yesterday and wasn’t in the best spirits.

But around 6pm, I saw her walk to her spot. We locked eyes. I immediately suggested her to come over. A happy face from her.

“I saw you yesterday a bunch of times.”
“Yeah, why don’t you room with me?”
“It’s my big mistake, but maybe we can fix that. What’s your name?”
“Camila”

Camila is blonde, long straight hair, in her 20s, fake tits, and still had her dark eyebrows. She has a perfect smile, which I’m assuming is probably some work done. There was something about this bimbo, bitchy look, slim body that I was attracted to. She had the face of a model, who felt she was too good for anyone, but at this club, she wasn’t. We went and got us some waters, smoked a cigarette, and just made small talk. She asked me what room, I suggested the mirror room, knowing there’s no A/C or windows but she was like, absolutely we can. 100430 BBJ+Sex.

Up in the room, we chatted, she laid next to me and offered her breasts for me to play with. I’m not a fake tits guy. These were like fucking cement rocks, but I knew this would be an optic-fuck. We moved onto the blowjob, which was slow and gentle. Zero eye contact. We did our positions, and I came. Nothing special for me, but a nice start to a series of rooms.

CAMILA
Looks 6.5
Room 6
Room Again? Low
Towel: She pays for 2.

I saw Miri and Brenda. I said hi to the both of them again and maybe we could room. The difference was Brenda saying yes, come find me while Miri would constantly harass me for the rest of the night to get another room, until I had to tell her to stop just sitting on me and that I’m not interested. Some women are too aggressive. I get it, they’re there to make money, but there’s something about someone so persistent for my money that it’s just way too much. I would regret not taking Brenda up again due to my desire to sleep with new women in rooms.

I made some fellow Asian friends from the states. It was cool, to be able to talk at the speed of my own English at this club, and joke around. I get why people have more fun at these clubs with friends. It passes the time quicker, and it’s better than just staring at naked women in silence until the refractory period ends.

One interesting bit was there was this guy who apparently was on the hunt, since Wednesday, to find an underage woman at the club. He described that he doesn’t like to sleep with girls who have been ran through. When he mentioned the underage thing, some dudes just left the table, including myself within the next few minutes. Then, with the two friend I made, we talked about how ridiculous that concept was.

This is one of the biggest FKK in Germany. You think they would let anyone without their proper credentials and work authorizations to work here? Also, this is the worst place to find some virgin 18 year old. It’s just never going to happen. It was Sunday, so there was a Formula 1 race, and we just saw this dude pace around in circles over and over again, non-stop for hours on end, hoping to find someone who fit his unrealistic, disgusting, desires. We would joke that his brain hasn’t broken out the loop, and was like a car, doing laps around the club with no end in sight. We told Lulu, Miri, and even they noticed that guy was weird and the opinion had spread to other girls at the club.

I looked over at the bar and saw this blonde women, great booty, but didn’t see her face. I got up and introduced myself. What a beautiful and stunning face. I asked her name.

“Coco”
“Coco, where are you from?”
“Germany.”
“A so. Do you want to sit somewhere we can talk?”
“Sorry, my English not so good.”

There is nothing worse than finding your type only to realize it’s about to be a threesome; you, her, and Google Translate. Sigh.
I told her I would be back, I checked the reviews, not much except for a review that she went under a different name and offered 150430 for the regular service. I didn’t want to do that. I sat back down with my friend and then he said

“Your girl’s gone.” We both watched as Coco took a room with someone else.

I waited. I introduced myself to Freja earlier but it really didn’t feel like there was any chemistry. She did look stunning, like a petite Barbara Palvin. Anyways, this will become important later.

Coco came back and I decided to at least ask her what was possible. I went back to the bar and I suggested normal service for 100430 and she just said, Yes. We agreed and went to line up for a room downstairs. There’s this awkward tension where you’re both waiting on line to have sex, without much conversation. I thought I had to figure something out.

“Okay, let’s try… what’s your favorite color?”
“Black and… sky blue.”

So here’s my description of Coco. German, in her mid 20s. She wore jewelry lingerie, medium blonde hair in a ponytail, blue eyes, great butt, natural B. Her favorite color is black and sky blue. She wasn’t done much clubs except Sharks. She likes shopping. That’s all I got.

In the room, she whipped out our third person and used Google Translate to confirm a BBJ+Sex for 100430 which I appreciated. Her blowjob was okay/good. Zero eye contact. We did cowgirl which she really took it and I appreciated. She made no noises. We swithced to doggy and after about 5 minutes playing with her butt, I wasn’t able to cum. I could feel it. I told her we could stop. She said if I was sure. I said I’ve been in these situations befores and it’s what either happens when I’ve done too many rooms or I’m just tired. She translated back on the phone that we still had time and we could try. I just watched her type more into Google Translate and stared at her nice body and face and I guess there was still some Viagra in me that I took at 1pm and we were back in action. I decided on missionary and desperately shoved a semi hard dick into Coco. It took about a minute until it was rock hard and started going for it without any expection. The hot part is, Coco is mute, and in missionary I was going hard and fast and the more I leaned in, the more I could hear her muffling her grunts. She was definitely taking it but hiding her sounds, which kind of turned me on. And I came. Surprisingly. I even told her so.

I translated that I appreciated letting me try again and being patient. She translated back that she was more than happy to and that I was nice during the whole process of a language barrier.

COCO
Looks 7.5
Room 7
Room Again? Medium
Towel: I paid for 2.

I tried to get a room with Freja as my last room, but when I sat down with her, she just seemed so uninterested in me. I told her when she was done with her cigarette I’ll be sitting over there (which was just like 5 feet from her). Then this teddy bear guy sat down with her and she was all smiles ear to ear and invested in the conversation. I asked my American friends why this was happening. It’s not like I did anything to upset her or was disrespectful.

GUY1 “Bro. You look like a killer.”
GUY2 “He’s right.”
ME “What are you talking about?”
GUY1 “You ever play Mortal Kombat?”
ME “Yeah, who hasn’t?”
GUY1 “You know the character Raiden?”
ME “The dude with a blade around his hat? That’s who you think I am?”
GUY2 “You look like you’re gonna fuck her stupid for the next 30 minutes. You see that teddy bear guy? He looks like he’s going to fuck for 3 minutes and spend the rest of the time cuddling and talking.”
ME “Damn.”

I didn’t take it personally. Guy1 and I did a bunch of rounds and chatted while we understood that the time was ticking. It was 11pm, the mood shifted. Some women were leaving. Men were leaving. It was like last call, and we both had to figure out what drink we wanted on this extensive menu. Guy1 had a thick latina booty gal who quoted 150430 for normal service which he declined which we love to hear. I decided on Vicky.

Vicky was a tall Romanian, dirty blonde ponytail hair, curvy, pale. I don’t remember her age, I think she was around mid to late 20s? Her English was very well. I told her it was my last room and that it was time to go. She agreed that it was probably her last room, a cigarette, a chat with friends and it was time to go.

In the room, I wasn’t the most excited. I would’ve wanted a room with someone I would have really liked to room with, but I wasn’t complaining either. Happy to get laid. I don’t know why I decided to room again after the potential disaster with Coco, but I couldn’t cum again. Vicky tried as hard as she could to blow me until I came but it wasn’t happening. My dick was tapped out. I told her it was okay and she looked at me and said.

“Well, 11 rooms in 2 days. You’re not a young boy anymore.”

VICKY
Looks 5
Room 5
Room Again? Low
Towel: She paid for 2.

And that was it. I paid her, got dressed and left, concluding my days at Sharks.

In summary, the club does feel a tiny bit sadder. If it wasn’t for the rooms with Brenda and Coco, I would agree with some of the sentiment of the mood at Sharks is changing negatively. The women are upset there wasn’t as many men. There are just less women on Saturday and Sunday. Maybe it’s the summer vacation. Maybe it’ll pick up after September.

From my perspective of going every year for a few days a year, the novelty of Sharks is disappearing. I remember the first time coming to Sharks and thinking, wow everyone’s so stunning and hot and the optics here are insane. But like going to Disneyland over and over again, the magic starts to wear off for me. But people still go to Disneyland. They can get on that ride for the 50th time and still be transported to their happy place. I’m just not the person who will go to Sharks and room with the same woman over and over again. I like to try new experiences. And in regards to seeing half of Sharks that I would never room with because they’re not my type, coming back every year and seeing those faces again brings me a sense of disappointment.

And so maybe, it’s time for a change. Never been to Switzerland; Globe & Freubad sound interesting.

Will I be back at Sharks at some point? Yeah, who am I kidding. Will I watch and read behind the scenes of the drama that unfolds with the quality of the facility and this towel trial charge? Yes, obviously. Will I come back to Sharks next year? I want to say 100% no. Do I have a feeling with more and more girls asking for 150430 for normal service is becoming more and more a norm and I’ll hear the price as the standard next time? Leans yes.

Because my eyes, or better my dick, has its desire set on new landscapes. So I think, expect a review on other clubs next summer.

Until then,

Thanks for reading.
Thanks for putting the reviews so others like myself can make more informed choices on the girls.
Thanks to the asian guy from America on Sunday for making Sharks a better vibe.
Thanks Sharks for being a nice place to go to, but your reign is deteriorating from the inside out. Goodluck.

Have fun. I’ll be here for the next 72 hours responding to comments, and then this account lays dormant until the next post.

(Sorry to break it up into two posts. Broke the character limit.)

Artemis was my first FKK Club I ever been to. The last time I was here was at the end of 2023. I remember taking my first room, at the first person that gave me the least bit of attention. Overstimulated by 50 or some nude women, in heels, of all shapes, sizes. I remembered thinking “wow, sure are lots of people from Romania!”

Over 3 years later, having done Frankfurt (Mainhattan, Sharks, Oase, and Palace) and Wellcum, it was surreal to come back to Artemis, where the journey first started. I wondered how much has changed or what has stayed the same.

I arrived on a Friday around 1:30pm. I knew I had to leave by 8:30pm. I know, it’s the worst timing, but I had no plans and wasn’t feeling any particular way to stroll around Berlin. Everything, pretty much, looked the exact same. When I stepped into the main hall, there was at most, 10 women there. I was surprised that there wasn’t this heavy fog of cigarette wafting around. I quickly realized a good amount of patrons and women were outside by the pool. Last time in 2023, it was too cold for any of that.

There was this one particular women laying by the pool, in a bikini. She had an amazing body, but she didn’t look like she was working at the moment. I even waited for her to come back into the main room and ask her name. She took one room upstairs, and then I never saw her again.

My first room was Natasha, 25, a Russian living in Zurich. She sat down next to me and I asked her if she was the women laying by the pool. She said yes. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that she wasn’t. She was medium tall, medium blonde hair, fit body. She smoked her cigarette next to me and we talked about how previous time at Globe and how she bounces around. We decided to room. 90430 for BBJ + Sex.

Before I start, I wanted to give an additional rating system to my looks and room, Room Again. Now, I’m different than other reports in the way that I have a habit of rarely repeating with women. I enjoy the novelty of different women more than the promised consistency of service. Call me a gambling man. So if you see a high or absolutely, please understand that means a lot in my books. So there’s 3.

Low;  very unlikely.
Medium; Yes, good, but I would still be looking around and weighing my options. If there was absolutely no one I was interested in, I would go again.
High; Yes, it was that good. Where having sex with this person again is worth the novelty of 1-2 new rooms.

There’s also a discrepancy for my rating with Looks and Room, so let’s break down that. 
LOOKS
10/10 looks is your favorite celebrity or a fashion model you, me, and all our friends can objectively agree is stunning. At some point, it’s not about personal preference as much as it’s just, we all agree. I don’t think I ever found a 10/10 hence why there is no rating. 9/10 is top tier level escort hot, I haven’t found that in all my time. I’ve given multiple rare ratings for 8s before, and those are ones where I think everyone also agrees, having been to clubs, that they find very attractive.

ROOM
10/10 room is not possible for me. That’s sex on Molly; the most passionate, authentic, real world girlfriend sex where you are cumming in her raw. That won’t exist here. 9/10 room I believe are amazingly compatible physically and mentally, a build up of the nut and having an orgasm that makes your knees bend. Those don’t happen in these rooms of mine because I majority of the time, only do 30 minutes. 8/10 room is all things considered for the short small talk outside, the transactional part of sex, still a great service by the women who is a damn professional at her job, and not because she’s disassociating about what designer bags she’s going to buy with this money she’s about to get from you.

All in all, if you see 8s in either Looks and Room, I think that’s a great review. 7s are still solid. If I’m dropping 5s, something’s not right and working.

Back to Natasha. Up in the room, she took her time with a blowjob. I can’t call it a Globe blowjob, because I never experienced one, but it was a good one. It wasn’t one of those, let me just give the dick stimulation so it gets hard, it felt like Natasha was genuinely making out with it, getting to know it, what works and doesn’t. I softly grabbed her by the hair and ushered her way up towards me. She put on the condom and we started in cowgirl. She rode aggressively for a minute before I could feel her slowing down. I told her to let me have a go at it. She always started kissing with me a good amount. Here and there some DFK but not the whole time. I didn’t even ask for her. Funny to think that I wondered if she was going to uncharge. She put her hand between us and towards our play parts and I thought “Oh no, here we go again, you’re gonna hold the condom.” Nope. She started rubbing her clit aggressively. I kept going at it until she moaned and moaned and then collapsed her weight on me, while I kept going. If she faked an orgasm, it’s a great performance. We switched over to missionary for about 5-6 minutes, staring at each other’s eyes while she continued to rub her clit, not as intense as her fire starting before. We ended up in doggy, where she continued staring into my soul through the 5 inch mirror panels until I came.
It was probably 30 minutes. We ended up chatting a little bit more before wrapping up.

NATASHA

Looks: 6
Room: 7
Room Again? Medium

The post nut clarity to then finding your second post nut clarity opportunity has got to be one of the best feelings ever. It’s a combination of having had an orgasm with a beautiful women, getting the nerves out of the way with your first draft pick, and then having the ability to excuse other women away with “I just had a room”. However, Artemis isn’t like Sharks or Wellcum, or frankly even Oase. The selection is limited by the club itself, and the time. However, about an hour later this platinum blonde, pale German woman walked in and sat down alone. We locked eyes. I looked around, no one has snatched her up yet. I didn’t want to play the game of waiting around for her to finish another room so I approached her.

I found out her name is Annabel, from Germany. She was at sharks before. Tattoos from her left down to her left leg. She was 26. We chatted a little bit about Berlin before I asked about her prices. I agreed to 70430, CBJ+Sex. because rarely do blowjobs do anything for me anyway. She asked me “Did you want to go upstairs or to the movie?” I said what do you mean?

“Well we can always have sex in there. Could be fun.”
“What would you like?”
“The movie.”
“Okay, yeah sure, I don’t have a preference.” She hopped all giddy, which I don’t know why but maybe it’s her little thing.

We went to the back of the cinema. There was some dude in the front laying completely on his back, either knocked out or barely paying attention to the old school 90s porn they had blown up on the projector. Annabel laid down her sheets. There was these curtains in the back and she shut them closed

“My friends will make fun of my blowjobs if they see so I close them.”

She gives me a blowjob for about 7 minutes or so. I alternated looking at her, at what was playing, and the light moving between the curtains in the front of the entrance to the cinema. Some dude came in, looked over, which I’m sure he got a great view of Annabel’s ass while blowing me, before he got embarrassed or whatever and left. We started in missionary, cowgirl, and doggy and I came. Simple straightforward sex but Annabel was fun. Great body, great ass for her frame. Cinema experience was interesting, I would do it again. I imagine it’s like Globe-lite. Like if Globe was Vanilla for some on their normal public sex Tuesday, Artemis Movie Sex is like skim milk.

ANNABEL
Looks: 6.5
Room: 6.5
Room Again? Medium

By around 7:30pm, it was getting busier. The men were coming in by the groups, dirty towels and robes were left on the seats waiting to be picked up by the cleaners, and now the usual, excuse me, do I give them the front of back as I squeeze through their naked body to my locker.

I had locked eyes with Mimi earlier. She’s a petite body, medium/long black hair, natural (B/C breasts)? on her frame. She had a cute chipmunk face, nice big eyes. It was almost time for me to go, so there wasn’t as much small talk that was possible. We talked for a bit and agreed to 90430, BBJ + Sex. Before we were about to go upstairs, she asked me if I wanted a threesome with her cousin and I’m just like, sigh, no.

You guessed it, up at the room, she asked me if I wanted extras. I said no. She said, no erotic massage? I sighed deeper, looked her in the eyes until she looked away from her bag and at mine before I said again, more firmly and annoyingly, “No.” She got the message.

Some information about Mimi is that she said she was at Sharks, from Romania (surprise!), but didn’t like it there. because of the mafia. I don’t know how much of that is true. I don’t follow the mob news. Her blowjob was surprisingly great, eye contact in missionary, did missionary for a bit before I realized how teeny tiny her ass was in doggy before switching to cowgirl to see those beautiful breast. Rides great, again after a few minutes, I took charge, but for her size, she took it pretty well from the hard pounding in cowgirl and I came.

MIMI
Looks: 7
Room: 6.5
Room Again? Medium

Overall, when I came into Sharks at 1:30pm, there was about 15-20 girls on this August Friday. By the time I left around 8:30pm, there was about 60-70. I’m sure it topped out at 80-85 based on the momentum of the club pacing upwards when I was getting dressed to leave.

Some women are curvier and more tanned. Less pale skin. There’s still a healthy ratio between curvier and skinny, natural no tattoo and loads of it. The misconception of Artemis is that everyone is about 35, silicone everything. I think in 2023, it is more like that, but from this visit in 2026, it’s a lot more diverse in all the genres of hair, looks, etc. The only non diverse thing is Romanians dominate. But I don’t care about that. Other’s do. I recommend Artemis if there’s not too high expectations. If you’re going to compare it to Sharks, yeah it pales in comparison. But I’ll take Artemis over other spots specifically in Berlin.

Would I come back to Artemis again? If I found myself in Berlin and had free time, yes I would.
Would I come back to Artemis again if I had the option of going to NRW or Frankfurt area? Probably not.

This is mostly a positive review. I’m not raving about Artemis, so your mileage may vary. Also, the food is terrible. Someone just dumped a mound of salt onto the food and didn’t bother to taste it. I spoke to a few other people and they were also like “What the fuck is this?” I saw everyone eating fruit and bread at some point and I was like, okay, it’s not the jet lag.

Before I start, I wanted to give an additional rating system to my looks and room, Room Again. Now, I’m different than other reports in the way that I have a habit of rarely repeating with women. I enjoy the novelty of different women more than the promised consistency of service. Call me a gambling man. So if you see a high or absolutely, please understand that means a lot in my books. So there’s 3.

Low;  very unlikely.
Medium; Yes, good, but I would still be looking around and weighing my options. If there was absolutely no one I was interested in, I would go again.
High; Yes, it was that good. Where having sex with this person again is worth the novelty of 1-2 new rooms.

There’s also a discrepancy for my rating with Looks and Room, so let’s break down that. 

LOOKS
10/10 looks is your favorite celebrity or a fashion model you, me, and all our friends can objectively agree is stunning. At some point, it’s not about personal preference as much as it’s just, we all agree. I don’t think I ever found a 10/10 hence why there is no rating. 9/10 is top tier level escort hot, I haven’t found that in all my time. I’ve given multiple rare ratings for 8s before, and those are ones where I think everyone also agrees, having been to clubs, that they find very attractive.

ROOM
10/10 room is not possible for me. That’s sex on Molly; the most passionate, authentic, real world girlfriend sex where you are cumming in her raw. That won’t exist here. 9/10 room I believe are amazingly compatible physically and mentally, a build up of the nut and having an orgasm that makes your knees bend. Those don’t happen in these rooms of mine because I majority of the time, only do 30 minutes. 8/10 room is all things considered for the short small talk outside, the transactional part of sex, still a great service by the women who is a damn professional at her job, and not because she’s disassociating about what designer bags she’s going to buy with this money she’s about to get from you.

All in all, if you see 8s in either Looks and Room, I think that’s a great review. 7s are still solid. If I’m dropping 5s, something’s not right and working.

FKK SHARKS
August 22

The last time I was at Sharks was secretly last year. I didn’t write about it and didn’t have the best time. Didn’t have to do anything with Sharks or the women, just wasn’t in the best state of mind, despite the hundred naked women walking around.

Chiara, Rahel, Mara, Chantal

Long story short, I forgot what Chiara looked like. I can understand why people love Rahel, but personally not my thing. Mara gave me the craziest PSE 30 minutes of my life but I left Frankfurt with a bruised lip because she bit too hard. Chantal and I didn’t really connect. Roomed with Ruxy and Flory. For the life of me, I can’t really remember those either.

Now, fast forward to August 2026, I was in better spirits. I arrived at the club at around 3pm on this Saturday, and it was already packed. That got me excited. The energy seemed good. I looked around and saw a bunch of familiar faces, faces that look vaguely like someone but can’t put a name to it, and definitely new faces that I haven’t seen before.

Also, I’m Asian, but there was a lot of Asians dudes this time around. Like probably around 40. Never seen so many international and American Asians as today.

Let’s start with some opinions. I’ve been following the drama with the towel charge policy, and have spoken to a bunch of women about it. Some women think it’s bullshit, some are okay with it because they make so much money. Some women will ask for your key to pay for it, others will pay it themselves. I’ll tell you who in these reviews also, so you know what to expect if you’re paying a few extra euros or not.

First room was Lulu. Incredibly petite, braided pony tail. From Romania. My intention from the get to was to go for a booty babe Blonde so Lulu wasn’t cutting it for me. However, she is incredibly friendly. As much as she says she learns all her English from the club, there’s no way. Even another American that I met said it best “If she learned her good English here at Sharks, then what is up with every other girls here that can’t even speak decent English?” Granted, the club is in Germany, most repeat clients are probably German, and English might be an afterthought. At this rate, she’ll be fluent in Korean, Chinese, and Japanese by next year.

Lulu, her English was great so we had a good conversation. We took the room by under the fish tank (are the fish dead or are they always sleeping?). The blowjob was nice, sensual, her handjob with the blowjob is top tier, if I’m being honest. The best blowjobs have some hand coordination. Because it’s my first room, maybe? She looked me dead into, probably, through my soul in missionary and cowgirl. It was kinda creepy but kinda a vibe. She rode well and I’m starting to think all the petite girls can just take it better than some of the bigger women at the clubs. But this is probably a prejudice. Anyways, I came in doggy. We chatted some more. And the thing about Lulu is, for the rest of the night and the next Sunday, she would always come over and we would crack jokes, make fun, before she spotted her next Asian and said “see you.”

LULU
Looks 6.5
Room 6.5
Room Again? Low
Sheet: She pays for 2.

I popped my viagra and looked around. There was this other pale Romanian with more of my body type. She sat mostly next to the dancing pole. I watched this woman, go room after room after room with asian after asian after asian and here I’m thinking two things. One is, I don’t think I ever had to wait this long for the opportunity to room with someone at Sharks. At most, I’ll get an opening by the 2nd time she comes back up onto the floor. I kid you not, I waited 4. I was thinking of what I could say to her when I finally had my chance. She sat down at her spot and I ushered her to look over.

When she came over I said “I think Asians have a type and this is the first time I’m realizing my own preferences.” She looked at me dumb and said “Oh, sorry.” Her English was not the best, as she speaks the most quietly, which didn’t help when Justin Timberlake’s Sexy Back is blasting for the 3rd time. It was hard to make conversation with her, but I waited so long that this was my opportunity to make it happen. We agreed on BBJ + Sex 100430.

Her name is Miri. 22, a snack tattoo on her neck and heart on her left shoulder. She didn’t change her demeanor much. Her blowjob was slow and sensual, but not hands. It was actually the same room as I did with Lulu so I was judging the blowjobs in my hazy Groundhog Day room. Lulu’s better. But back to Miri. We did light kissing and DFK when I didn’t ask. I asked if I could touch her boobs and she just said “You do whatever you like, I am okay.” However I did not DATY, but I also found out later when she was trying to pitch her second room to me, that she doesn’t like DATY. I’m sure someone can confirm this for us. We did my usual missionary, cowgirl, and doggy and I came. She’s very GFE in the way that she loves to cuddle and make cute noises at anything you said. I could make the worst joke and she would just giggle, her eyes closing a bit and just leaning her head over to your shoulder. I get why the international asians love her. She’s like, made for them. Or me. Sigh. 

MIRI

Looks 7
Room 7
Room Again? Medium
Sheet: She pays for 1.

While I recharged, I watched a man by the video machine table by the lockers and front door just try over and over again to demolish the record for Candy Crush. Fun guy to chat to. I sat on the chair to see what I missed; who was coming down from rooms that I haven’t seen yet, who’s freshly ready for another room coming from the girl’s shower area, and looking at the bar to see what girls are doing their laps. Before this, I was facing the dancing pole and I saw this beautiful woman lean over to her friend, say something in Romanian, before promptly disappearing and I just audibly said “Holy shit she’s the hottest women here.” It happened so fast that I was only able to register the unique Urban Outfitters charm necklace she was wearing. I said to myself, If I see her I have to say hello. Back to Candy Crush. It’s a hard game, especially trying to do it in the least amount of moves so you can hit perfect scores. And then I got tired of looking at the screen and this gentle wind smacks me in the face and I look up and this woman had just stopped by the lockers, holding her towel and standing by the lockers. She just had a room. And then I saw the necklace. And then I saw her body. Jesus Christ. I looked at her face. What the fuck. I got up immediately, walked up to her and said.

“Excuse me, what is your name?”
“Brenda.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“You want to room?” I don’t know why I hesitated. I thought about the last time I came and how I needed at least an hour in-between. What time was it? Dude, don’t say no, what the fuck.
“Yes.”
“Okay, I come find you later.”

Sometimes that didn’t really mean anything. I waited 5 minutes and she didn’t come, but it felt like 20 minutes of staring at those dude going hard with Candy Crush. My concept of time was slowly disappearing. Too poor for a Rolex, too snobby for an Apple Watch, but now I’m just too dumb to know how much time has passed. I went to grab a coffee. I did a lap, I couldn’t find her, and then I walked back to the video machine.

“Hello!” I turned around. It was Brenda.
“You told me to find you. I found you.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know where you were.”
“Me neither, I had to ask my friend where you were.”

We stood and chatted in our spot. Brenda told me she made up her mind that she was going to leave right after the room she did until I approached her. I asked her why she left so early, and her answer was, she just liked leaving by 8pm. I could respect that. We agreed on 100430, BBJ + Sex. She walked in front of me and honestly, for her size, her butt was nice. It’s not perfect for me, but who’s really talking about Brenda’s ass.

Now as I write this after the fact, there’s so many people that know Brenda, so I won’t get into it too much, I’ll just write my own description for the storytelling.

Brenda, without a doubt, is one of the most attractive women at Sharks, to me. It’s not really a conversation. Her hair is wavey and thick. Her face is model, eyes and brows sharp but inviting. Lips soft. Honestly her nose is nice too but let’s move on. Her breasts, probably at the pinnacle of best looking breasts I’ve ever seen at Sharks. The only one that I could remotely think about is Flavia at Andiamo, but I don’t think she even works anymore.

We got a room by the broken cinema, the 4 rooms before the bathroom in the back. Not my favorite but I didn’t want to wait for a room as it was starting to get busy. Do I want the mirror room upstairs? Yes. Do I sweat more than doing an infusion downstairs with the master? Yes. Do I want to wait? No. Brenda and I talked about her necklace. I spoke about her charisma to which she replied,

“Baby I’ve been doing this for many years.”
“How many?”
“Eight” or I think I heard something like eight.
“How old are you?”
“Thirty three”
“No way” What else am I supposed to say? “Yeah, sounds about right?”
“It explains how you’re so hospital and outgoing.”
“You have to be. But you also have to have it in here” She points to her heart
“Your boobs.”
“Yes, my boobs.”

I looked at Brenda giving me a blowjob, from my own POV, and without hesitation, Brenda in-between getting air before going back down on my dick, looks at my dick while speaking to me.

“You can look around, the view is better.” To be fair it did, almost like the way she sucked it looked better at those angles.
She apologized for being sweaty. I touched her thighs, it was moist, but it was hot, and I kinda liked it. It reminds me in my personal life, the real life sex of sweat on body. So much of the time I’ll touch the women and they’ll just have zero bit of perspiration. Anyways, we did missionary, doggy, and of course to end it, cowgirl. We spoke some more, before I asked her if she was here tomorrow and she said yes.

Dude, she’s absolutely hot. When I searched her name on the subreddit, I was like, oh this makes perfect sense. It just blew my mind I never saw her in all my time at Sharks, so I was lucky to catch her before she clocked out. Perhaps what makes her hotter is that fact that she’s incredibly attractive, knows it, but feels like there’s a whole other personality that lives outside of the clubs that we get a preview of, all while she maintains her professionalism of service. I get why everyone loves her. I think I do too.

BRENDA
Looks 8.5
Room 8
Room Again? High. #1 repeat spot for Sharks
Sheet: She pays for 2.

You know, what comes up, must come down. This review will be quick, and slightly vicious, but well deserved on my part for not trusting my gut, doing my research on here, and on her for somehow continuing to be at Sharks.

Let’s talk about Doreen, the German that sits in the German corner at Sharks. I remember seeing her last time, but Zoe was just way more attractive. But now that she wasn’t here, I was looking for options for a nice great ass and hips to hold onto for dear life in my fourth room. From my preferences, I haven’t had a big ass yet. Lulu is not even a conversation. Miri is perky for her frame. Brenda’s great for her frame as well. Then I saw Doreen. Her ass cheeks winking at me every rare step she got off her chair to walk to the kitchen or the one lap she does around the club an hour.

I went up to her, made small talk about where we’re from. I asked her prices. She said 100430 CBJ. She gave me the whole spiel about safety. In theory I can understand it. My dick was telling me, I came for views from Doggy, not the blowjob. So I agreed, named the ass dominate positions and we went to the 4 rooms.

So, here’s when I heard CBJ I should’ve just walked away. Her blowjob, robotic and terrible. In cowgirl, she hovered and held her squat which wasn’t doing it for me. I didn’t find her face attractive so I skipped missionary and asked for doggy. Now, in doggy, what I was hoping to get was a face down, ass up situation, I got a cat stretching into a childs pose for Doggy. I put it in and went at it, and I was slightly hinting at her to kinda know, release the ass and tension. It was this weird angle that I just couldn’t make it work and said.

“Hey I don’t think this is comfortable for me. Is it possible you can have your ass out more?”
“No. This is as much as I go. This is what’s comfortable for me.”

I didn’t even know what to say. I just thought about how Lulu, the most petite chick at the club, can take a raw beating in doggy for like 8 minutes at pound town but this full grown bodied woman with an ass that’s bigger than her face can’t take my Chinese dick down? No way.

I immediately got soft. I was so repulsed by this bullshit. I got hard again and we tried again. Now she did the V, which so far on this trip, I haven’t experienced it at all. I forgot I didn’t have to worry about it. But lo and behold, here we are. The peace sign that makes any dick go soft. I’m trying my best to cum, my balls are just smacking onto her knuckles and it’s hurting and I just give up.

“It’s okay. This is not for me. Thank you.”

I wanted to leave, she was confused. Was she? You’re really confused why I can’t cum because of this terrible service? She started justifying the V and the doggy because she wanted to make sure that the condom was still on. I’m like lady, none of these dudes are trying to have a baby with you. We’re all aware. In fact, I can have the best view of the condom if you weren’t so hunched over.

She offered to give me a blowjob, or a handjob. I accepted a minute of a disappointing handjob before I said. It’s okay, we should go.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t want you to have a bad experience.”
“It’s okay.”

I paid her the money and left. I showered my frustration and disappointment away. This is by far, the worst room in all my experiences at these clubs. I have done 108 rooms with 108 different women. This 109th room with Doreen takes the cake. Absolutely terrible. I never left a room, visibly mad. So here’s my warning to you. Don’t room with her. It’s funny because after that room, she left. Wasn’t there the next day on Sunday either. I think she makes money just sitting there, with zero effort, and hopes no one reads about her and then falls into the same trap that I fell into. I should’ve trusted my gut. Sometimes you see a woman who’s beautiful in their own way, but no ones taking them up to the room. It seemed like everyone else at Sharks, the regulars, and the international visitors who did their research, and others who trust their gut, knew that Doreen is terrible news.

ALSO, she’s 1 of 2 women at Sharks who made me pay for the towels. The other one we’ll get to in the next day.

DOREEN
Looks 6
Room 2
Room Again? NEVER
Sheet: She made me pay for 2.

Not cumming in the room is a terrible feeling. What was I going to do? Go back to my hotel room and masturbate? I’m at Sharks. I found Heleni, 25, Tall blonde in a ponytail, Romanian, busty and curvy. I told her how terrible of a room I had, I didn’t tell her the name as much as I described how she did a child’s pose for doggy and she bursted out laughing. I told her about the V thing and even Heleni said “Yeah that’s bullshit. If you know how to put a condom right and you can feel the dick is hard, what is there to worry about? At most you put your hand down there and check for 1 second, every few minutes, but not constantly.”

I felt so seen. I took her up to the room. We agreed on BBJ+Sex.

Good blowjob, intense and not too sensual. Standard positions, I came. She even let me touch her pussy, which I was surprised. I will say the only thing that’s not my cup of tea is the constant moaning. At one point I couldn’t even focus on cumming because she was just non stop. But it’s fine. I came. Thank God. We spent more time chatting than fucking because I was already so blue balled. She’s honestly so sweet, outgoing, and great at conversation. I saw some reviews after about how much people enjoy her time with her and I can see why.

HELENI
Looks 6
Room 6
Room Again? Low
Sheet: She pays for 2.

After that room, I was spent. It was 1:30am, and the mood had shifted since those back to back rooms. It seems like some of the men were passed out on the couch, while an influx of groups of men, the one who looked like they were up to no good, about to drink a lot, possibly push some of women’s boundaries were flooding in. I could see more and more women looking at the front door, seeing what new clients were coming in and if they wanted to stay. Some did, and some didn’t. But it was my time to go, before coming back in less than 12 hours.

I gave them the key, paid my 2 euros, and left.

 
FKK SHARKS
August 23

I had woken up at 10am, my stomach growling. I thought, well, what am I going to do? Sit in this hotel? Might as well get food at Sharks. I arrived at 12pm, way before the 2pm 50euro deal ended. I had my coffee, smoked salmon, fruits, and eggs. Surprisingly a good amount of men, and very few women. Lulu was walking around and we chatted more about how they need a large playlist. It seems like they added 3 new songs that were trending from this summer’s EDM scene and that was about it. I don’t want to hear Justin Timberlake every day. I couldn’t imagine for the girls, hearing Justin Timberlake, every six hours, everyday, every week, every month, year to year.

Here’s my take; forget the towel drama. Change the music playlists. Because at the end of my Sunday night here at Sharks, they played some requests from the girls, and all the Romanian woman were dancing and it genuinely lifted their moods, for the all of ten minutes. Maybe it’ll make the women dance more, make the men feel a mood. I’m not suggesting it be a rager, but surely the music and food can’t be the same all the time. I get food is a whole logistic and cooking for hundreds of people, switching menus is a whole overhaul. But musical playlists doesn’t cost any money.

Speaking of how dirty it was on some of these posts, I found myself looking up at ceilings in the main room, bathroom, and rooms. It’s not all that dirty.

The main hall ceiling is so dark up there it’s impossible to see how much dust it’s collecting. The showers could do a cleaning above. After doing a sauna and showering outside the sauna, I would much rather shower here. The rooms, you’ll see some lube stains here and there, because 1-2 towels really can’t cover a lot of ground.

Anyways, there were two blondes that I really wanted to sleep with yesterday but wasn’t sure. One was this blonde who sat in the German corner. Young, blue eyes, but couldn’t really make her out. I did some research and assumed it was Mary but couldn’t tell. She wouldn’t end up coming back on Sunday. The other blonde sat by the dance pole. I asked her two friends where she could be. One said “She’ll be here maybe 7pm” and the other one said “I don’t know.” I don’t think they made good money yesterday and wasn’t in the best spirits.

But around 6pm, I saw her walk to her spot. We locked eyes. I immediately suggested her to come over. A happy face from her.

“I saw you yesterday a bunch of times.”
“Yeah, why don’t you room with me?”
“It’s my big mistake, but maybe we can fix that. What’s your name?”
“Camila”

Camila is blonde, long straight hair, in her 20s, fake tits, and still had her dark eyebrows. She has a perfect smile, which I’m assuming is probably some work done. There was something about this bimbo, bitchy look, slim body that I was attracted to. She had the face of a model, who felt she was too good for anyone, but at this club, she wasn’t. We went and got us some waters, smoked a cigarette, and just made small talk. She asked me what room, I suggested the mirror room, knowing there’s no A/C or windows but she was like, absolutely we can. 100430 BBJ+Sex.

Up in the room, we chatted, she laid next to me and offered her breasts for me to play with. I’m not a fake tits guy. These were like fucking cement rocks, but I knew this would be an optic-fuck. We moved onto the blowjob, which was slow and gentle. Zero eye contact. We did our positions, and I came. Nothing special for me, but a nice start to a series of rooms.

CAMILA
Looks 6.5
Room 6
Room Again? Low
Sheet: She pays for 2.

I saw Miri and Brenda. I said hi to the both of them again and maybe we could room. The difference was Brenda saying yes, come find me while Miri would constantly harass me for the rest of the night to get another room, until I had to tell her to stop just sitting on me and that I’m not interested. Some women are too aggressive. I get it, they’re there to make money, but there’s something about someone so persistent for my money that it’s just way too much. I would regret not taking Brenda up again due to my desire to sleep with new women in rooms.

I made some fellow Asian friends from the states. It was cool, to be able to talk at the speed of my own English at this club, and joke around. I get why people have more fun at these clubs with friends. It passes the time quicker, and it’s better than just staring at naked women in silence until the refractory period ends.

One interesting bit was there was this guy who apparently was on the hunt, since Wednesday, to find an underage woman at the club. He described that he doesn’t like to sleep with girls who have been ran through. When he mentioned the underage thing, some dudes just left the table, including myself within the next few minutes. Then, with the two friend I made, we talked about how ridiculous that concept was.

This is one of the biggest FKK in Germany. You think they would let anyone without their proper credentials and work authorizations to work here? Also, this is the worst place to find some virgin 18 year old. It’s just never going to happen. It was Sunday, so there was a Formula 1 race, and we just saw this dude pace around in circles over and over again, non-stop for hours on end, hoping to find someone who fit his unrealistic, disgusting, desires. We would joke that his brain hasn’t broken out the loop, and was like a car, doing laps around the club with no end in sight. We told Lulu, Miri, and even they noticed that guy was weird and the opinion had spread to other girls at the club.

I looked over at the bar and saw this blonde women, great booty, but didn’t see her face. I got up and introduced myself. What a beautiful and stunning face. I asked her name.

“Coco”
“Coco, where are you from?”
“Germany.”
“A so. Do you want to sit somewhere we can talk?”
“Sorry, my English not so good.”

There is nothing worse than finding your type only to realize it’s about to be a threesome; you, her, and Google Translate. Sigh.
I told her I would be back, I checked the reviews, not much except for a review that she went under a different name and offered 150430 for the regular service. I didn’t want to do that. I sat back down with my friend and then he said

“Your girl’s gone.” We both watched as Coco took a room with someone else.

I waited. I introduced myself to Freja earlier but it really didn’t feel like there was any chemistry. She did look stunning, like a petite Barbara Palvin. Anyways, this will become important later.

Coco came back and I decided to at least ask her what was possible. I went back to the bar and I suggested normal service for 100430 and she just said, Yes. We agreed and went to line up for a room downstairs. There’s this awkward tension where you’re both waiting on line to have sex, without much conversation. I thought I had to figure something out.

“Okay, let’s try… what’s your favorite color?”
“Black and… sky blue.”

So here’s my description of Coco. German, in her mid 20s. She wore jewelry lingerie, medium blonde hair in a ponytail, blue eyes, great butt, natural B. Her favorite color is black and sky blue. She wasn’t done much clubs except Sharks. She likes shopping. That’s all I got.

In the room, she whipped out our third person and used Google Translate to confirm a BBJ+Sex for 100430 which I appreciated. Her blowjob was okay/good. Zero eye contact. We did cowgirl which she really took it and I appreciated. She made no noises. We swithced to doggy and after about 5 minutes playing with her butt, I wasn’t able to cum. I could feel it. I told her we could stop. She said if I was sure. I said I’ve been in these situations befores and it’s what either happens when I’ve done too many rooms or I’m just tired. She translated back on the phone that we still had time and we could try. I just watched her type more into Google Translate and stared at her nice body and face and I guess there was still some Viagra in me that I took at 1pm and we were back in action. I decided on missionary and desperately shoved a semi hard dick into Coco. It took about a minute until it was rock hard and started going for it without any expection. The hot part is, Coco is mute, and in missionary I was going hard and fast and the more I leaned in, the more I could hear her muffling her grunts. She was definitely taking it but hiding her sounds, which kind of turned me on. And I came. Surprisingly. I even told her so.

I translated that I appreciated letting me try again and being patient. She translated back that she was more than happy to and that I was nice during the whole process of a language barrier.

COCO
Looks 7.5
Room 7
Room Again? Medium
Sheet: I paid for 2.

I tried to get a room with Freja as my last room, but when I sat down with her, she just seemed so uninterested in me. I told her when she was done with her cigarette I’ll be sitting over there (which was just like 5 feet from her). Then this teddy bear guy sat down with her and she was all smiles ear to ear and invested in the conversation. I asked my American friends why this was happening. It’s not like I did anything to upset her or was disrespectful.

GUY1 “Bro. You look like a killer.”
GUY2 “He’s right.”
ME “What are you talking about?”
GUY1 “You ever play Mortal Kombat?”
ME “Yeah, who hasn’t?”
GUY1 “You know the character Raiden?”
ME “The dude with a blade around his hat? That’s who you think I am?”
GUY2 “You look like you’re gonna fuck her stupid for the next 30 minutes. You see that teddy bear guy? He looks like he’s going to fuck for 3 minutes and spend the rest of the time cuddling and talking.”
ME “Damn.”

I didn’t take it personally. Guy1 and I did a bunch of rounds and chatted while we understood that the time was ticking. It was 11pm, the mood shifted. Some women were leaving. Men were leaving. It was like last call, and we both had to figure out what drink we wanted on this extensive menu. Guy1 had a thick latina booty gal who quoted 150430 for normal service which he declined which we love to hear. I decided on Vicky.

Vicky was a tall Romanian, dirty blonde ponytail hair, curvy, pale. I don’t remember her age, I think she was around mid to late 20s? Her English was very well. I told her it was my last room and that it was time to go. She agreed that it was probably her last room, a cigarette, a chat with friends and it was time to go.

In the room, I wasn’t the most excited. I would’ve wanted a room with someone I would have really liked to room with, but I wasn’t complaining either. Happy to get laid. I don’t know why I decided to room again after the potential disaster with Coco, but I couldn’t cum again. Vicky tried as hard as she could to blow me until I came but it wasn’t happening. My dick was tapped out. I told her it was okay and she looked at me and said.

“Well, 11 rooms in 2 days. You’re not a young boy anymore.”

VICKY
Looks 5
Room 5
Room Again? Low
Sheet: She paid for 2.

And that was it. I paid her, got dressed and left, concluding my days at Sharks.

In summary, the club does feel a tiny bit sadder. If it wasn’t for the rooms with Brenda and Coco, I would agree with some of the sentiment of the mood at Sharks is changing negatively. The women are upset there wasn’t as many men. There are just less women on Saturday and Sunday. Maybe it’s the summer vacation. Maybe it’ll pick up after September.

From my perspective of going every year for a few days a year, the novelty of Sharks is disappearing. I remember the first time coming to Sharks and thinking, wow everyone’s so stunning and hot and the optics here are insane. But like going to Disneyland over and over again, the magic starts to wear off for me. But people still go to Disneyland. They can get on that ride for the 50th time and still be transported to their happy place. I’m just not the person who will go to Sharks and room with the same woman over and over again. I like to try new experiences. And in regards to seeing half of Sharks that I would never room with because they’re not my type, coming back every year and seeing those faces again brings me a sense of disappointment.

And so maybe, it’s time for a change. Never been to Switzerland; Globe & Freubad sound interesting.

Will I be back at Sharks at some point? Yeah, who am I kidding. Will I watch and read behind the scenes of the drama that unfolds with the quality of the facility and this towel trial charge? Yes, obviously. Will I come back to Sharks next year? I want to say 100% no. Do I have a feeling with more and more girls asking for 150430 for normal service is becoming more and more a norm and I’ll hear the price as the standard next time? Leans yes.

Because my eyes, or better my dick, has its desire set on new landscapes. So I think, expect a review on other clubs next summer.

Until then,

Thanks for reading.
Thanks for putting the reviews so others like myself can make more informed choices on the girls.
Thanks to the asian guy from America on Sunday for making Sharks a better vibe.
Thanks Sharks for being a nice place to go to, but your reign is deteriorating from the inside out. Goodluck.

Have fun. I’ll be here for the next 72 hours responding to commend, and then this account lays quiet until the next post.

I’m the dude from a few years ago that went on a fucking spree and tried to sleep with as many women from all the different clubs possible. Check my previous posts if you like. Anyways, life got busy but I’ve somehow found myself back here and some free time.

Now I haven’t been back since December 2024

For anyone who attends frequently, has the line up changed a lot since last year?

I’m hoping for new girls. Don’t know if the majority is the same girls from two years ago. If it is, I’m slightly discouraged to go.

Some of my favorites from Sharks has been…

Melissa (red hair, never really there?)
Zoe (German, read she left?)

All I know is there’s a current towel problem and that is kind of convincing me to go to Wellcum instead.

Any insight or advice is appreciated. I’m happy to post the review as well.

EDIT I wanted to include my full list of girls I’ve been with at Sharks to help guide the conversation

Ruby, Simona, Beatrice, Lis, Stephanie, Debbi, Mila, Jamila, Vanessa, Ivanna, Saskia, Zoe, Yasmin, Mara, Ester, Melissa, Sofie, Isabella, Angel, Evelyn, Chiara, Rahel, Chantal, Ruxy, Flory

Thanks!

I haven’t posted in a while. Hope I can get some advice. Planning to visit one of the clubs for a couple of nights.

Last time I was at Sharks was June 2025.
Last time I was at Wellcum was Sept 2024.

Please disregard commute and price.

From the perspective of new girls working at the clubs, which one has the most new girls?

From a service perspective, have they gone up or down at the club?

Thanks.

All I know is Wellcum is now 80430 and Sharks has a laundry issue which is reading like it’s souring the mood.