Hello to you, reading this, scrolling through posts, maybe doing so slightly hopelessly, maybe not even sure what or who you are looking for but somehow you still do it.
I want to talk to you because you usually do not reach out, despite that feeling of craving a breath-taking level of connection that gives you butterflies in the stomach and not only there.
This is an open letter from someone who does what that too, and not an attempt to lay down traits, we both know those usually feel unrealistic and somehow harsh to read. After all who likes the idea of having to prove something, am I right?
You should know I am far from wanting that from you. A beautiful connection that leads to a BDSM dynamic is something built together, brick by brick, over a little spark of passion and feeling of comfort, a spark that I am trying to ignite in you through this.
I am a Dom who, in years of experiences, always put the focus on giving a warm and welcoming sense through words and I am proud of that. Many would believe calling yourself a Dom means acting cocky and reckless, with a sort of birthright expectations on a Sub out of nowhere, but not you and I. We know being a Dom means exactly charm and sense of comfort you can trust to finally give up control without second thinking. At the same time, we also know being a Sub is more than just wanting to be told what to do.
It's about desiring a direction and someone whose hand to hold, not just any hand reaching out. It does not mean suppressing your own personality but about being accepted yet trying to do better and better.
But you know that already, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have opened this nor still be reading.
I described you as clingy and perverted because these words most of the time can be interpreted as something bad or "too much" to handle.
You see, I treat BDSM as a way to let go of masks and truly be yourself. So should you and it is finally time to be what feels too much in other contexts, yet feels right here. I cannot make promises about being what each other needs but sure we are going to find out; I am curious, I'd love to discover everything about you. Whoever you are, your experiences or preferences. This is my open letter and if you felt I spoke directly to you, you are invited to get in touch.
As much as I'd love to keep the letter going on, every dynamic and bond is unique, goes both ways. I am waiting for your own letter about why you are here and genuine response.
This is one of the two reasons I have been focusing solely on the pure and abstract part of what a BDSM dynamic should be. It takes two to give it a shape.
The other one is because going in details of every shade of my likings would be taking away your pleasure of discovery as well as making an extremely long post.
I will say more just to give a rough idea and to tickle your curiosity, ask me in private to have a better explanation and use these as starters for conversation.
I am what most people would call a Gentle Dom, yet stern. For what it matters, INFP-T.
I have a huge praising kink that I express through words and desire to give attention and this is a huge part of me and of what you should "expect".
I do not even like word expectations, I do not take submission as granted and do not like things being one-sided. Whether it is curiosity or pleasure.
So far I am pretty sure I made it clear I thrive on a clingy good girl for real that loves being matched with attention so no more hints to that.
I like rules and tasks during the day that are not risky nor demanding.
Let's be honest: if you have a little experience in online dynamics you probably know it is filled with self-proclaimed Doms that have no idea where to stop or sense of decency. I am not one of them and my entire idea of BDSM as well as intimacy should not include ruining the rest of your life outside of this.
I am looking for a BDSM dynamic and not a vanilla relationship. Differences are thin sometimes but there are some still, happy to discuss in private. Monogamy is also a huge, taboo-ish topic in online scenarios. I am happy to involve some ethical non monogamy aspects into this. And no, this does not mean I have other partners nor that I want more. If you are curious, remember you have been invited to ask in private so do not be shy.
And if you guessed I am kinky, you are right. We did not meet in a church after all.
Next to the sweet and welcoming side, there is also a side that still loves praising yet mixed with roughness, degradation, control.
I love the dualism good girl-little slut, within all the boundaries of being healthy I also love being possessive, especially of your mind and pleasure. Orgasm control is something I am extremely into. The rest of the list is quite long so I can share in private but I feel very playful around light impact of any kind (choking, spanking, nipple play), toys, anal, voyeurism.
The idea of welcoming I tried to give in the rest of my post still applies there, my kinks are just half of the fun and just kinks, not bullet points of what I need at all costs. And I would not kinkshame yours so, at any point, feel free to share.
This second part was less of an open letter and more of a way to either kindle or fully extinguish the spark I mentioned before, but I am done writing now. It's your turn, see you in my chats.