I became curious about engaging in prostate play around two years ago. Like many others, I struggled to consistently get pleasure from my sessions. It's taken me a lot of practice and learnings, but today I can finally get to the point where I can consistently achieve rolling dry orgasms.
What was the trick? For me, it was not one thing, but many things. But the biggest things were improving my overall health and becoming more confident in my own body.
I am in my mid-thirties now. I'm gay and I used to bottom a lot when I was in my early twenties. I loved it, but at some point I developed some anxieties about bottoming and stopped enjoying it.
Fast forward to a few years ago when I became curious about bottoming again. But whenever I tried, I just didn't get any pleasure from it. I was super frustrated. That's I learned about Aneros. I thought it would be a good idea to experiment with myself, without the pressure of being with a partner. So I bought my first Aneros (a Psy).
I first tried Mindgasm and had experienced some p-waves. I then ordered a wand and a dildo and had some limited, inconsistent success.
At some point I recognized that I likely had pelvic floor dysfunction. I saw a pelvic floor PT and she helped diagnose me and suggested daily exercises. This had a noticeable impact.
The next milestone was recognizing that my sleep sucked. I've since invested a lot into improving my sleep, and it's had a huge impact on my entire life, including prostate play.
The final unlock came just recently: learning how to truly relax. On Reddit, people say "just relax, don't chase" and "do nothing", but it's honestly easier said than done, especially for people like me who have trouble relaxing.
All of the previous work with my pelvic floor and improving my sleep were prerequisites. It was literally impossible for me to get into the right headspace and relax. Now I can! My brain is quieter, I have more confidence in my body, and I have a stronger mind-body connection.
Here are a few tips based on my experience:
- Work on your health, especially your sleep and mental health. Ask yourself if you are really comfortable with your body (especially your ass), and if if not, get that addressed.
- When I insert the Aneros or toy, I stopped asking myself "where is the pleasure?" or "how do I make pleasure?" I now think "what do I feel down there?" I notice the pressure, not the pleasure. Noticing the pressure eventually transition to experiencing pleasure.
- I don't have to be super horny. I don't have to abstain for days to build up arousal. Being able to relax is more important.
- The toy does matter for me. I seem to enjoy my plastic MGX more than my other Aneros models.
- Playing with my nipples did nothing, until one day it made a world of a difference. I don't know what it is, but I think it somehow just gets me to relax to a deeper level.
So the interesting thing about this whole journey is that I was so determined to enjoy prostate play again, I ended up addressing several latent anxieties and health issues. So not only do I finally get to enjoy bottoming again—life is better overall.