If it’s about more than sex, then why can you get it with someone/anyone else?
I struggle with understanding this, so please explain it to me like I’m five: if you want sex with your partner because it’s intimate/connecting/the pinnacle of physical closeness/insert other fancy buzzwords here, then why is the solution to the lack of it to go get it from someone else? Doesn’t that negate everything you just claimed it was?
If it’s something you can pretty easily find anywhere or with anyone (ie opening the relationship, having an AP or FWB) then certainly it’s not special/connecting/intimate the way most HLs try make it seem. And, if it’s not something that’s special/unique between you and your partner, then why is it so important that you get/have it from them?
Genuinely trying to understand this circular logic from a LL perspective who doesn’t consider sex to be a “connecting” activity in the slightest.