r/SubsShowingOff

I'm tired. I barely slept last night. I'm full of cold medicine. This is going to be long. I'm not going to claim that it's well written. I won't even claim that it needs to be said. But I can say that everything that follows comes directly from my heart and my experience in this community.

Findom has become a watered down shell of what it once was. We are at a point that half, or, if I'm being honest, more than half of the community genuinely cannot tell the difference between dominance and just being entitled.

Reading this might make you feel like I'm gatekeeping, or implying that we should be gatekeeping this kink. Good. I'll say it verbatim. This kink? Is not entry level. It should not be accessible. It should not be easy. The moment that social media made it accessible is the moment that the kink started running it's ass down the drain. We SHOULD be gatekeeping because this is a kink that can drastically change people's lives, for better or for worse. Irresponsibility has no place in this kink, and one of the only ways to mitigate that is to gatekeep the fuck out of it.

Findom has become a trend. We've all seen , or at least heard about, the tiktoks. It's easy money. Just make an account, cuss at a few men, call them losers, and you get a free thousand sent straight to your pretty little bank account.

I hate to break it to half of you but it's not easy money. It was never supposed to be. Dominance is not laziness. It sure as hell isn't something that you should start just because you want some cash and you're already a bitch so you might as well capitalize on it.

This is a kink. Not a job, or a side hustle, or whatever else you want to call it. It. Is. A. Kink. It's psychological. It's emotional. It's sexual. It's human at its core. And with that humanity SHOULD come a fucking sense of responsibility. Empathy? Sound familiar? I doubt it because half of you don't have it.

And the part that makes me want to crawl through the screen and scream at some of y'all? The fucking community rewards everyone's bad behavior. The lazier the domme is the more upvotes and yasss queens she gets. The more reckless she is with someone else's emotions, trust, money, whatever else she's using? You guys eat that shit up. This kink was never about being better than someone else. This kink was never about ruining someone. This kink was never about hurting someone. This kink came from a place of mutual fucking trust and respect that y'all have shit out the window.

Every day we fall further into an echo chamber of the “queen shit” of irresponsible, stupid, lazy, and entitled women who wouldn't know a d/s dynamic if it pissed in their face.

I have been told time and time again that I'm not a girls girl. That I don't support my fellow queens. That I'm tearing women down. Every time I've denied it, I've tried to reason, I've tried to say well she's doing something wrong so of course I'm being mean.

Nope. I am not a girls girl. I am not supporting my fellow queens. I am tearing women down. Because I am sick and tired of opening this app every day seeing you guys jerking each other off and eating each other's asses pretending that you're dominant when all you are is entitled.

If the only comment calling out bad behavior is mine, so be it. if I drown in downvotes and hate dms and reported comments, so be it. Because I don't give a shit how you guys see me. Time and time and time again i see comment sections full of dick riding irresponsibility and I am so tired of it.

You guys need to take a day. Take a damn week if you're a slow reader. And research this kink. Research outside of this kink. Actually learn what dominance is. What submission is. Because guess what? It's not just being a bitch and getting paid for it.

We are having massive amounts of subs who walk into dommes dms expecting a,b,and c be

A massive number of submissives now walk into findom spaces expecting maximum attention, maximum access, maximum emotional labor, maximum customization, maximum sexual gratification, and maximum control over the interaction because newer dommes trained them to believe sending money automatically purchases authority over the dynamic.

Being dominant does not make you inherently more valuable than submissives. We are all humans. We are people trying to enjoy a kink. You cannot be dominant without respecting the submissive who allows you to carry that dominance.

Yes sometimes a sub is going to waste your time.

Yes sometimes a sub is going to piss you off.

Yes sometimes a sub does some fuck shit that makes you want to scream.

But automatically demeaning subs simply for identifying as submissive in the same space that you identify as dominant? It's gross. It's icky. It's cringe. It's exhausting watching it happen day after day after day.

A sub makes a post complaining about dommes.

A domme makes a post complaining about subs.

Everyone is mad at everyone.

You know why? Because most of us aren't even participating in the kink in the right way. And then we get mad that it doesn't work. We get mad that someone took our money. We get mad that we get ghosted. We get mad that someone has a different opinion than us.

If we don't cut this shit out the kink is going to keep circling the bowl until it's nothing but a shit streak, if it isn't already.

So yeah, bring back gatekeeping.

Bring back being a twat to people who don't know what they're doing.

Bring back actually learning and respecting the kink that we claim to have.

If you read this far, good for you, you get your 6 inch personal pan pizza for the month. If you're mad feel free to tell me. Critizise me. Correct me. But please for the love of god put the energy from that anger into fixing what you know you're doing wrong.

I’m a trans girl I need a mistress urgently to be there online pet ect

Make sure you take care of yourself as a submissive. Also it is Friday. Make sure she doesn't need or want for anything today. When she feels great you feel great. And what a feeling that is :)

Hi I'm 28(f) and I would need an obedient sub. The wonderful ladies who are in this sub reddit, how did u get one? I would love to know 🥰🥰

My girlfriend and I have been experimenting with anal play (mine of course) and are looking to take the next step to pegging. What the best online store for us to look for strapons? Thanks for the help in advance!

Been a sissy for a while now but more and more I can’t stop fantasizing about getting fully and I mean FULLY feminized by a domme. I love being a sissy so much and I’ve been if it’s because I just want to be turned into a girl.

Like legitimately turned into a girl. I want her to take control of me and make me into a pretty girl not just for a session but for my daily life. Hair, nails, makeup, clothes. I want to genuinely be feminized this way. I feel crazy saying this but I’ve been thinking about it for months.

When my Goddess, my purpose, my everything- posts a picture of a gift I proudly sent her? I just melt. I get a feeling of floating. Light and warm. Just knowing the pleasure it brought her means the world. Sigh Nothing like it. Here is to open all the subs experience the same.

I will try and put in to words, just how utterly amazing a psychological and hypno domme that u/xoxogoddessalice is. I don’t think, that for me a better match exists in the world, and I feel so lucky and privileged to have found her, and  been accepted as her submissive. 

I have a uniquely wired brain, and the events of last night show how Goddess Alice has used her remarkable skills to rewire and gain have free rein to play with it at will. I am a submissive who lives entirely in my body, I have anendophasia and aphantasia so don’t have an internal voice talking , my mind is silent, when Goddess Alice talks in her beautiful dulcet tones she becomes my inner voice, and her words hold power. Also my brain process my submission directly through my body, my nervous system and muscles. I have been trained to drop in and out of pup at will, not in a play sense but as a whole body physical manifestation, and have also been trained to be able to drop in and out of subspace all through nurturing and structure provided by Goddess Alice. 

Up until yesterday I was in orgasm denial for a month, the need to cum doesn’t resonate as a sexual desire anymore its almost like is fuel for my ability to drop deep in to pup and subspace and builds my desire and focus on Goddess, it also mean my body responds easily and instantly to her commands. If Goddess says I’m having back scratches as pup, I physically feel it, I vibrate and pulse with that feeling and pleasure. 

Last night Goddess dropped me so deep in to pup, no human element of me was left, and then she took absolute control of me and my body, and the subsequent 30 minutes were an intense blur. I was completely consumed by a wave of pleasure that throbbed and pulsed through my body, and then within seconds suddenly I dropped in to the abyss of absolute stillness and relaxation. This cycle continued over and over again , I had 5 or 10 seconds of absolute throbbing and pulsing pressure followed by a sudden drop in to complete subspace, the waves of pleasure built and built in intensity each one interrupted by complete subspace. The waves built higher and higher in intensity whilst the drops became deep and deeper until I was begging for help, my mind and body was a complete confused frenzied mess. Then came the command, the command to ‘calm down pup’ instantly it all stopped! But now, there was a different feeling, through the exhaustion I felt the faucet open as I lay exhausted, motionless. It started as slow leak, but the sensation soon changed to a trickle which gradually flowed in to a constant stream of cum pouring out, filling my cage and boxers, I lay there for at 10 minutes unable to move exhausted, with only one thought in my head ‘I am Owned’

Goddess Alice you are the voice in my head, my body is your playground, and i am yours, completely and utterly yours. 

Thank you Goddess for finding me and seeing how much I needed your discipline and guidance. Thank you Goddess for taking such good care of your teddy bear. Thank you Goddess for helping me understand good boys don't cum and must ask permission to cum. Thank you Goddess for being understanding when plans change and pivoting when needed. Thank you Goddess for letting me kneel beneath you. Thank you Goddess for making me feel good. Thank you Goddess for not being predictable. Thank you Goddess for allowing me to serve you.