u/flashing-colors

I know not everyone cares much about celebrities but for me she was a role model. Dolly Parton was (and always will be) someone that I looked up to as someone who can make a difference in the world, being a kind and compassionate human to those less fortunate than herself. Might not be findom related, but I think compassion belongs everywhere.

I'm banning bucketsfull of men and women each day because people apparently can't tell the difference between a suggestion and a rule (I'm looking at you, dommes) and horny subs can't read the prompt THAT POPS UP BEFORE YOU CAN POST that says if you aren't a finsub, this isn't the right subreddit.

Please. Read this post ↓ (https://www.reddit.com/r/SubsShowingOff/s/WL0mmKSW4Z) if you're not familiar with how to use this subreddit. It's also pinned at the top of the sub itself. It's not that hard.

If you could curate one meal for one of your subs/dommes, either a meal they'd love or a meal they'd hate, what would it be, and why?

I'm gonna stick with the theme of picking on u/pathetiqA for this ( he's on vacation and won't see this for weeks so it doesn't matter anyway)

A meal he would hate: I would probably make him just the world's most tomato-loaded meal possible. Appetizer? Heirloom tomato flight. Salad? Tomato salad. Side? Bruschetta. Main meal? Roasted tomato, spinach, and feta pesto pasta with baked chicken. Dessert? Idk, a whole tomato. He HATES tomatoes and they're one of my favorite foods and I grow 12 different varieties of tomatoes in my garden so... Tomato meal.

A meal I would hope he would enjoy: probably something traditional from where I live, we live in very different parts of the world so I would want to share what food here tastes like, probably chicken bog and Carolina gold bbq chicken with as many grilled veg as I can get into him bc I know he doesn't eat enough veg.

What would y'all feed your domme/sub, that they'd like or hate, and why? Yes, I'm high, and starving.

I've already posted this, but I'm going to post it again. Free will. But let's yap a bit before I hit the good ole copy and paste.

It's so important not just in kink space but just as adults to be able to have functional reasoning skills. And yet, this space is devoid of fundamental common sense and reasoning. One topic that I see argued time and time again is "I hate men". Guess what? I agree with both sides. But not fully, because both sides tend to lack common sense. Yes, it makes sense to hate a group of people who have caused countless people harm for centuries. So yes, I agree , "hate men". But I also agree that you shouldn't judge someone nor hate them for being born a specific way. Very few men CHOSE to be men. "Not all men but always a man" applies, but still doesn't change the fact that we cannot reasonably hate every man around us and expect them to respect us in this space.

So, without further ado, here is my post from months ago, on separating men as individual people from men as an idea. Enjoy.

Edit: I have gone in and snipped out the parts of the original post that don't apply to today's argument, you can still find the original post on my profile by searching the word "misandrist"

•••••• Men (the idea) and men (the individual) are separate entities and hating one does not constitute removing the other from your life, and does not invalidate your identity as feminist/misandrist.

Point one, men as a concept versus men as the individual.

Men as a concept is in reference to, partially, but not exclusively, the patriarchy, centuries of entitlement, centuries of abuse, centuries of power imbalances, historical violence, and modern day harm.

Men as the individual is in reference to, partially, but not exclusively, unique people who are a product of the world in which they were raised, be it good or bad.

You can, in fact, be against a system without being against each individual that builds up that system, and without assuming that each individual behaves and thinks the same way. This is not cognitive dissonance, this is critical thinking, which some of us do in fact possess the ability to perform. Examples include but are not limited to: "I hate America, but I do not hate every American". "I hate organized religion, but I do not hate every religious person".

Men, as a concept, have historically and are currently causing real and dangerous harm to women. Men, once again, as a concept, do things such as abuse, harass, and strip freedom of choice from women. This does not mean that you, a man, have personally done these things. This does not mean that my father, or partner, or classmate, has personally done these things. What this does mean, is that an overwhelming amount of men HAVE done these things, and we recognize that, and we call it out.

If I say the sky is blue and your rebuttal is "sometimes it's grey", sure, your argument is sound, but that does not mean that the vast majority of the time, the sky is blue, we discuss the sky being blue, and when we think of the sky, we think of blue.

Point two. Judging men on a case by case basis is more fair and less hypocritical than just ignoring the issue altogether.

We know there are more bad men than good men. Hence this entire argument. What we don't know, is who is who? We can know a man our whole lives and think he's a good person, and then something changes, and he no longer is. If I'm in a group of 10 people as the only woman and there are 9 men in the room with me, I'm going to feel outnumbered, unsafe, and anxious. Not because I know that every single one of these men is some horrible monster... But because I know the statistics means that most of them are.

No one is saying YOU are bad, YOU are trash, YOU are evil. What we are saying is that men, as a concept, are more often than not, horrible beings who genuinely don't deserve time in the sunshine.

•••••••• Now, back to August 2026. This post didn't solely focus on men (individual) vs men (collective). It delved deeper into some other topics that I still stand behind. But today I'm leaning hardest into how we HAVE to be able to separate these two in order to function in this space. You cannot walk around screaming that you hate men if you expect the majority of your submissives to be men. The basis of bdsm is trust and mutual respect. Humiliation dynamics stem from the fact that you trust each other first. You respect each other first. You cannot respect someone that you claim to hate.

Edit: I have gone in and snipped out the parts of the original post that don't apply to today's argument, you can still find the original post on my profile by searching the word "misandrist"

...and I've decided to cut and dye my hair tonight.

Ive been doing my own hair since I was 13 and others since I was 19, I'm not worried that it wont turn out well.

However it's already almost 9 pm and I haven't even picked a color 😂 just staring at my dyes waiting for them to speak to me.

What are yall up to this fine Sunday evening?

Edit: it's decided. Gonna go with a green and purple split dye. Gotta look as unappealing as possible.

Cut down local flock cameras

Sell the appx 2lbs of copper from them

Give her the money

Win win

Edit: and there's a gram of gold and an ass ton of aluminum? Y'all better go get that bag

Dommes: if a sub gave you a basket with 10 items in it to brighten your day, what 10 items would be found in that basket?

Subs: if you were making a basket for your domme to brighten her day and it needed 10 items, what 10 items would be included?

I'm going to wait to answer this one until after one of my subs comments, no hints for him.

Edit: okay now that he's answered: a book, a candle or wax melt, bath salts, a satin blanket, a weird trinket, an addition to any of my artistic hobbies, a fruity drink, gummy bears, and a charcuterie kit

Anyway now that y'all are here.

Do we all agree that it's spooky season? For me it starts on July 5th. I yearn for hot spiced apple cider. Would be lovely if it wasn't a million degrees outside , but I can't win it all.

What I DON'T want is for classes to start back. I need a school-free spooky season for once in my life.

Now to make this findom related. Hmmmmmmm.

For the dommes: would you rather have a sub who bought everything you wanted and delivered it to you in person when you wanted it, or a sub who went shopping for you and carried the bags? Why?

For the subs: would you rather buy and bring your domme anything she wants as soon as she wants it, or go on big shopping sprees with her every so often and carry all the bags? Why?

Im in the process of switching my throne theme from veggie garden to "game night" and while staring at my board game collection trying to come up with ideas I had the bright idea of having a small send themed around the game "guess who" for silent sends.

However.

I hate and do not allow silent sends for myself.

So if any of y'all like board games and need a new theme idea in the near future, please tag me if you use this because I want to stare at it and be like "noice" and then go on about my life.

There's a few bots on discord that allow you to submit anonymous confessions and they post them to the server without your username attached. We need that for findom reddit. I want to see what would happen. I know drama, but drama happens anyway. I want to see what we can achieve when people aren't afraid of asking questions/ answering truthfully.