u/flashing-colors

I get that people in this space (findom reddit, not just this subreddit) either love or hate me. That's why I'm no longer surprised when every single post and comment I make immediately get hit with a downvote.

But yesterday I made a post in a different subreddit about my mental health. A few people responded positively, being very supportive. And every single person got downvoted.

Why is it that if you hate one person suddenly you feel the need to downvote anyone who's being nice to them? Do y'all not have something better to do with your life?

One of my followers I assume is the person who downvotes everything I say within seconds of posting because it happens even if I post to my own page.

So I'm assuming you're reading this. Get a fucking life. If you hate me, hate me. But if it brings you joy to downvote people who just... exist in my proximity? You need therapy and to touch grass.

We often see a few people in this community really push the narrative that dommes should be dating their subs and subs should be dating their dommes. You know who you are.

There's nothing wrong with a domme and sub dating. In fact, I advocate that if you claim to be dominant you shouldn't be dating anyone who isn't submissive. Be a switch if you're going to be a switch. However. The majority of couples practice (or pretend to practice) monogamy, while most findoms have multiple subs.

If every domme and every sub dated, we would either have a whole lot of jealous people, or a lot of subs who can't afford to be their dommes only submissive.

I have had very few submissives who meet my standards for dating , but exceed my expectations for a bdsm/findom dynamic. I have had very few partners who meet my standards for a bdsm/findom dynamic, but exceed my expectations for a partner.

Im dating a submissive. We do not practice findom heavily in our relationship because I don't feel the need to , he shares his money with me regardless. Takes the fun out of it. I love dating someone who is submissive!

But not every sub needs to date their domme. Not every domme needs to date their sub. Not everyone is (or should be) monogamous. Not every domme needs to be attracted to her sub and not every sub needs to support their dommes emotional needs outside the realm of the dynamic.

This whole kink is circling the toilet as we speak. Do whatever the fuck you want as long as you're being safe and not hurting yourself or others.

Just say fuck it and go about life like these lazy ass bums who expect to get paid with zero effort and zero personality. Don't ask for av don't lift a single finger in dominance.

But I know that it would gross me out immediately and I wouldn't take any pleasure from it 😭 trapped by my own brain

This is going to be a weird post. I don't do well with expressing my emotions. If this feels robotic it's because removing myself from my feelings keeps me on line instead of rambling.

I do not often feel at peace. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, autism, general anxiety disorder, situationally predisposed panic disorder, clinical depression, and a whole basket of other anxiety and depressive disorders.

Very often, the things that in theory make me happy, in practice make me agitated, panicked, or depressed. A lot of aspects of this kink should make me panicky, but they don't. This kink , and bdsm in general, has always been a safe escape from my brain. In controlling others, my control of myself strengthens.

But recently some aspects of this kink have been the furthest thing from peaceful. The furthest thing from an escape. In fact, some aspects of this kink have exacerbated my mental health issues.

So now I have to choose assured peace, not happiness.

No, I will not be leaving this kink.

But I will be changing a lot of who I am within it.

One of my absolute favorite parts of this space is the friendships we can make. Not dynamics, though I love having friendships within my dynamics.

I mean other dommes . Subs who have no interest in me and I have no interest in them. Just ... Humans. People who enjoy each other for the sheer purpose of a friendship.

And yet.

Some of these friendships have pushed the boundaries of my comfort. Some of these friendships have caused me to slip into my own brain and loosen my grip so that I can't crawl back out. Some of these friendships just hurt, even if from an outside perspective there's no reason for them to hurt.

One issue with my BPD and autism is that I don't see grey areas. Things are black and white. You're either a good person or a bad person. If you do something bad, you are bad.

I know that human nature covers every shade of black, white, and grey that we can imagine. But MY nature doesn't.

The only way to avoid being friends with someone who my brain tells me is a bad person? Is to avoid making friends in general. Which I absolutely hate, but for the purpose of my mental health, has to happen.

Im not sure how that's going to look right now. Im not sure if it will even work. But it's something I'm going to work on, because my subs deserve a mentally sound domme, and I deserve peace.

If you could pick one celebrity to spend a day in the life of, who would it be and why? Would you practice this kink while being them?

I'm a big fan of food in general, but my cooking plans for yesterday and today have been shot bc my AC is out so I'm staying with my partner (who has a significantly less stocked kitchen than I do)

So let me live vicariously through y'all.

What are y'all eating today? What's your favorite food? What's your signature dish to cook? Tell me anything and everything because until Monday or Tuesday I'll be in a crap kitchen with a crap cook 😂

🇺🇸🦅✨ HEY EVERYONEEEEEEEE ✨🦅🇺🇸

❤️🤍💙 i will NOT be active on reddit very much today because i'm currently looking for my UNCLE $AM 😍💸🇺🇸

YES 😤 he's REAL 😤 YES 💅 he's RICH 💰 YES 🦅 he's MY TYPE ❤️🤍💙 and YES 😌 i fully expect him to spoil me because that's literally what freedom is about 🦅🇺🇸📜

before any of you say "that's the government 🤓☝️" PLEASE educate yourselves 😭🙄 😭🙄 😭 he's not "the government" he's MY $ugar uncle and he's been avoiding my allowance for like 250 years 😤💸

if you happen to see an older gentleman wearing a patriotic suit👔, suspiciously tall hat 🎩, white beard, and carrying an unlimited supply of tax dollars PLEASE let him know his favorite little financial burden is looking for him 🥺💸🎀✨

DO NOT DM ME ❌📱

DO NOT @ ME ❌🔔

DO NOT ASK WHERE I AM ❌🗺️

because i'll be busy wandering around every cookout ♨️, parade🪩, fireworks show🎆, walmart parking lot, and unseasoned ⬜ backyard barbecue screaming "UNCLE $AMMMMMM‼️‼️ WHERE'S MY TRIBUTEEEEEEEEEE 😭💸"

if i suddenly disappear don't panic 😌 it just means he finally found me and is taking me shopping at the expense of the federal budget 😍🛍️💳💸 if he can fund wars he can fund this brat 💋🥵🪖💰

this isn't about greed 😒

this is about ✨✨✨ PATRIOTISM ✨✨✨

real americans don't chase dreams 😤🇺🇸

they chase government funding 💸🦅

manifesting:

💸 tax refund

💸 spoiled brat privileges

💸 suspiciously wealthy uncle

💸 unlimited shopping

💸 bald eagle escort

💸 financial domination of the united states treasury

anyway if you hear someone yelling "UNCLE $AM I KNOW YOU GOT PAID TODAY"...

mind your business 😌❤️🤍💙

i know most of you won't understand because you've never experienced the indestructible 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 bond between a patriotic domme and her rich uncle. that's okay. not everyone is destined for generational wealth. 😌🎀

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🦅🇺🇸🎆🎇💸💳❤️🤍💙🍔🌭🍉🍓☀️🦅🇺🇸🎇🎆💸💰💵💳🛍️🎀✨🧨🦅🇺🇸❤️🤍💙🎆🎇🍔🌭🍉💸💸💸💸🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🎇🎆❤️🤍💙💥💥💥🎀💳💰💵🧨🍻🥤🦅✨🇺🇸🎆🎇❤️🤍💙💸💸💸🦅

🚨 Please note, I am in no way patriotic, happy with this country, a brat, or an avid user of lowercase "i"s and American themed emojis. This post is a shit post. Thank you for reading. 🚨

🇺🇸🦅✨ HEY EVERYONEEEEEEEE ✨🦅🇺🇸

❤️🤍💙 i will NOT be active on reddit very much today because i'm currently looking for my UNCLE $AM 😍💸🇺🇸

YES 😤 he's REAL 😤 YES 💅 he's RICH 💰 YES 🦅 he's MY TYPE ❤️🤍💙 and YES 😌 i fully expect him to spoil me because that's literally what freedom is about 🦅🇺🇸📜

before any of you say "that's the government 🤓☝️" PLEASE educate yourselves 😭🙄 😭🙄 😭 he's not "the government" he's MY $ugar uncle and he's been avoiding my allowance for like 250 years 😤💸

if you happen to see an older gentleman wearing a patriotic suit👔, suspiciously tall hat 🎩, white beard, and carrying an unlimited supply of tax dollars PLEASE let him know his favorite little financial burden is looking for him 🥺💸🎀✨

DO NOT DM ME ❌📱

DO NOT @ ME ❌🔔

DO NOT ASK WHERE I AM ❌🗺️

because i'll be busy wandering around every cookout ♨️, parade🪩, fireworks show🎆, walmart parking lot, and unseasoned ⬜ backyard barbecue screaming "UNCLE $AMMMMMM‼️‼️ WHERE'S MY TRIBUTEEEEEEEEEE 😭💸"

if i suddenly disappear don't panic 😌 it just means he finally found me and is taking me shopping at the expense of the federal budget 😍🛍️💳💸 if he can fund wars he can fund this brat 💋🥵🪖💰

this isn't about greed 😒

this is about ✨✨✨ PATRIOTISM ✨✨✨

real americans don't chase dreams 😤🇺🇸

they chase government funding 💸🦅

manifesting:

💸 tax refund

💸 spoiled brat privileges

💸 suspiciously wealthy uncle

💸 unlimited shopping

💸 bald eagle escort

💸 financial domination of the united states treasury

anyway if you hear someone yelling "UNCLE $AM I KNOW YOU GOT PAID TODAY"...

mind your business 😌❤️🤍💙

i know most of you won't understand because you've never experienced the indestructible 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 bond between a patriotic domme and her rich uncle. that's okay. not everyone is destined for generational wealth. 😌🎀

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🦅🇺🇸🎆🎇💸💳❤️🤍💙🍔🌭🍉🍓☀️🦅🇺🇸🎇🎆💸💰💵💳🛍️🎀✨🧨🦅🇺🇸❤️🤍💙🎆🎇🍔🌭🍉💸💸💸💸🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🎇🎆❤️🤍💙💥💥💥🎀💳💰💵🧨🍻🥤🦅✨🇺🇸🎆🎇❤️🤍💙💸💸💸🦅

🚨 Please note, I am in no way patriotic, happy with this country, a brat, or an avid user of lowercase "i"s and American themed emojis. This post is a shit post. Thank you for reading. 🚨

If y'all see a post from a sub (or anyone really) saying that they prefer new dommes and want to be a dommes first sub?

Run

9 times out of 10, that sub wants to take advantage of you and knows that because you're new that you'll be naive enough to let it happen. I know that none of us want to believe that we are easily taken advantage of, but new dommes are often more susceptible to "scams" and people who want to take advantage simply because they may be desperate to get into the community/get their first sub and because they just don't have the experience to tell them when something is shady or not.

Someone who wants to be a dommes first sub? Almost always shady.

Because why would I want to be the only one benefitting from my subs? Below is a list of what I've sent my subs to work on for the summer (can't post pictures in here but I have a better version on my page)

-Take a walk a few times a week and fill a small bag up with litter on each walk. Properly dispose of the litter at the end of the walks.

-Research native wildflowers and buy seeds of them and sprinkle them in barren areas.

-Set up a space for birds/other wildlife to cool off in their area.

-Donate shelf stable goods to a local food pantry.

-Go through closet to pick out clothes they don't wear anymore, wash, and donate.

-Assemble hygiene kits for local shelters.

-Donate pet food/kitty litter/etc to a local animal shelter

-Pick up some children's books and donate them to a local “little library”

-Clean up a local park

-Donate your tribute amount to a good cause/foundation

-Donate blood to the red cross

If you and your sub/you and your domme switched bodies for one day, what are you spending that day doing?

​

The Unlearning Project T2-

I have gained a new submissive who's main goal in this dynamic is bettering himself. This revolves heavily around unlearning his conservative upbringing and brainwashing , and learning to be an empathetic and educated member of society. As part of our dynamic, I assign him research topics to broaden his worldview and challenge his preconceived ideas. This is the second of many posts. Welcome to The Unlearning Project.

Topic Two: How to research, and the Stonewall Riots

Part A- Learning to differentiate between legitimate sources and fluff.

In a very online world where anyone can post just about anything they want, it is very important to be able to tell if a source is valid, or if it contains unsubstantiated claims. I introduced my submissive to the CRAAP test. The following is a lightly edited account of our conversation regarding CRAAP.

FC: You will be using the CRAAP test for this assignment. That covers Currency, relevance, authority, accuracy, purpose.

Sub: Yes Miss FC🤔. Hmm. I will look for sources. Same format as last time? Is it accompanied by any direct study material interviews or literature?

FC: I will provide an audio for you , the rest I want you to research yourself and ensure it isn't craap. Learning to differentiate between sources will help you avoid "fake news" as you go forward. It will become secondhand to be able to tell quickly if what you are reading is valid information or if it is just propaganda etc.

[ Time passes as the sub researches what has been assigned and does some work learning to differentiate sources ]

Sub: So. You can tell if a source is accurate (thanks to you) by utilizing the CRAAP method.

I used this by applying the principles as follows

Currency. Are the sources current. When it was publicized. Are there more recent sources with additional information that would be useful to the reader.

The relevance. For example is it applicable to the actual subject I am studying, or is it simply fractured and non contextual information that supports my presumptive theory.

Accuracy. Did the source come from a first hand witness, or another person simply compiling disjointed facts to compel the reader to come to a conclusion. And did any credible literary sources verify and confirm the sources, cooperating them with known facts.

And finally the purpose.

What was the idea of the person publishing the material. Was it an impartial observer, a political activist or a researcher tasked with drawing out the facts with no political slant.

Part B-

As pride month comes to an end, I thought it appropriate to have this sub research , on his own with minimal information provided by me, the stonewall riots and their subsequent effects. As a reminder for those who missed the last post, this submissive is a cop.

The following is, again, a lightly edited account of our conversation regarding the assignment.

FC: For the second part of this assignment you will pick up your own research on stonewall and tell me if the sources are reliable or not, why you have come to this conclusion, and what you learned about stonewall.

Sub: Stonewall?

FC: Sigh. The stonewall riots. Keystone history in LGBT rights in the United States.

Sub: Ohhhh. I thought you might mean the southern general🤦‍♂️😂💀I don’t know anything about those yet. 💀👀

[Time passes as the sub does his research. This research included an audio file of an interview with a member of the riots, provided by me.]

{FC asks if the sub has been doing his research…}

Sub: Ahh. Stonewall and the Compton tenderloin riots have been a little challenging for me. There appears to be a little bit of haze concerning the exact date/time of the riots. One thing that shocked me was that the establishment utilized police to brutalize the LGBTQ protesters. That was eye opening and disturbing to learn. And the response to the Compton Tenderloin incident. I had no idea that kind of retaliation happened 😅. But I’m still researching deeper

FC: There's a lot of misrememberance surrounding the events for a litany of reasons, the most common reason that I've heard is that people had to lie and pretend that they weren't part of it and things tried to get covered up so when it was safe to talk about, the dates weren't exactly documented clearly

[ Submissive finishes his research]

Sub: One of my sources was the https://library.law.howard.edu/home, Howard University School of Law.

This appears to be a legitimate source when applying the CRAAP framework.

They outline the turning point of the LBGTQ movement to be approximately 1969, with the advent of the Stonewall riots in response to oppression and police brutality against the community during the Stonewall raid, at the Stonewall inn.

I also learned in the Brittanica sources that the Stonewall riots are why Pride month is celebrated in June. Always before I just assumed it was simply arbitrarily selected, but I was surprised to see it was commemorated by the turning point of the movement. The Britannica appears to be a valid source under CRAAP.

My research of Stonewall also led me to learn about The Daughters of Bilitis. This was sourced from the Library Of Congress and appeared to fit the CRAAP criterion.

I was surprised to learn that as early as 1955 the DOB had formed to publish a periodic, starting in 1956 (The Ladder). Starting as a social club to avoid being targeted in the bar scene by the current arm of the political class (police).

Also a notable point of interest was learning that the club was founded by “working women of color”.

Overall, I was shocked to find that police had been used violently against the community. It’s sobering and a little unsettling as I had never heard of such a thing.

I was a little struck by how hazy some of the records were, as people were afraid of persecution by openly relaying the history and outing themselves to the public.

I was again a bit uncomfortable learning these things, as my upbringing had simply taught me that the pride parades were nothing more than the intentional display of gross debauchery. I had no idea that the parades and demonstrations are a reaction or assertion by people afraid of a return to status quo persecution.

FC: Going forward, is any of this information going to change the way that you view pride/pride parades etc?

Sub: I suppose I will be faced with the reality that they are people afraid of the rebirth of persecution. Not that they are trying to scandalize the old folk 😂😂

[ We went on to discuss my personal experience with pride parades. I feel that this assignment did not instill as much knowledge on the fight for LGBTQ rights in the US as I would have liked, so he will be receiving another assignment on a very similar topic this week]

[End T2]

​

I finished my tbr (huge W btw, that shi was PHAT) and now I need more book recs. Im also making a book wishlist of any books that aren't available on KU.

Soooo if anyone wants to throw some book recs to this hungry reader I would probably kiss you on the forehead or sum.

I'll read anything other than war history and auto/biographies about celebrities/random white men.

My preferences are bdsm (femdom or maledom , both are welcome) romances, kink lit, psychological horror, high fantasy, romantasy (shhhh I know shhhhhh), and social justice lit, but like I said, I'll read anything. Other than war history. Or auto/biographies about celebrities/random white men.

❗I will not participate in the support of any AI media, this includes generated stories and generated cover art❗

Some of y'all aren't dominant you just like the attention.

That is all.

That pp2 is just an echo chamber? Everyone just reiterates the same post over and over