r/findomchatters

What's your over obsession at the moment ? 🩷

Any nice plans to enjoy the weather?

Hising away inside?

Ewcaping elsewhere?

What little small things help make days like this more pleasant?

I am interested in hunting for some subs over on Discord but I haven't heard much about Discord findom beyond the fact that it exists. I am curious if anybody has any advice about groups to join, Discord-specific findom ettiquite, or otherwise any info on how it works over there. Thanks x

Anybody have some fun sub types they have on their wish or bucket list? Besides like.. “I want a whale sub”

For me, I’d love a gamer sub. Someone who can turn games into send sessions or just a way to vibe

And I saw a post on twitter yesterday of a domme who has has a sub of nearly every race and I was like ooh that would be neat

What are some of yours?

It's almost 11 PM here in northeastern US. Probably going to bed in a few hours. Anyone care to chat? No, this isn't bait. I'm lonely. 😢

So i did my first ever group drain , 4 dommes (me included) and one sub, the sub only used paypal so he was sending to me cuz i only used paypal too just for it to be on fucking PENDING once i need to split with the girls, i genuinely feel sick to my stomach because i dont want my first domme friends i made think im like taking their money, maybe i over think too much😭 but i genuinely feel horrible i hate paypal so much. im canadian so i dont have much variety on the fun funding apps like cashapp so now im just stuck. i communicated with them to keep in touch with me for me to keep checking the pending payment just incase i forget cuz i got the worst memory and they kinda just left me on seen a lil. i feel so guilty

Am i the only one that enjoys other dommes posts? you know the ones that go “send me money pay pig”. I’m a big fan of degrading tasks and the desperation is painfully obvious at times so it feels like a humiliation ritual..

hi, i just recently started wanting to get into Findom. I wanted to come on here to ask what safe and legit websites are the best for posting feet and faceless content? I want to get attention from subs and possibly sugar daddies as well. any piece of feedback I’m open to hearing, and even the harsh criticism. I already made a Loyalfans, a X account, and on here. Thank you if you read this.

(Copy-pasted from r/ paypig support group, the cross post feature didn’t work for me)

There are people out there who have established, long term dynamics, where they are “collared” subs in a traditional BDSM sense, and both parties have an equal amount of investment in that relationship. If that’s you, I’m genuinely happy for you, this isn’t about the beautiful thing that y’all have going on.

But my goodness, there is a proliferation of people (mostly from the dom side, but non-zero from the needy sub end which baffles me) who seem to think that the first send makes someone “owned”, who get mad at other dommes for “stealing” subs, or get mad at subs for “cheating” on them. And let’s take a step back and ask: what are we actually doing here. If you’ve never had a conversation about the concept of “ownership”, what that means and what that looks like in real life, you are not owned. “Ownership” in a BDSM dynamic (to the extent that it’s even real but I’ll use the common lingo) is much closer to a dating relationship than a findom-paypig one. If your mental answer to what “ownership” means and how it’s different from your current dynamic is “it would look pretty much the same but maybe they send more money”, stop right there. You as a sub do in fact have some inherent value as a human; there was no auction, you were never claimed as property.

On exclusivity/“sub poaching” (rolling my eyes so hard here), I have been exclusive with a domme in the past. There comes a point where you have enough chemistry and have been talking for long enough that it makes sense to do that. That point is not the first date. An expectation of exclusivity as a starting point, as the default, is baffling to me. We need to stop normalizing that as an expectation. I, as a sub, am fully aware that the dom I’m hitting up in a DM is currently involved in one way or another with various other subs (I hope all subs are aware of this? If you’re not, good morning, welcome to reality). I don’t understand why so many would consider it shocking that I, as a sub, might be involved with various doms. Chatting people up is fun! It’s going to take forever to figure out who I have chemistry with if I talk to one person at a time! No, it is not “cheating” on anyone to be involved with multiple doms if you, the dom, are involved with multiple subs. Either you have a serious, long term, well discussed, intimate relationship, or this is fundamentally a worker-client relationship with some emotion involved (if you have to think about this for longer than a millisecond, the thing you have is the second one).

I don’t claim to have all the answers for WHY acting like any sub who sends a dom more than $10 is owned by that dom and has signed a life contract to worship that person is so common, but I have a couple theories, both of which seem really flawed when you break them down. Theory A: a dom thinks that pretending any sub they talk to for more than a day is owned is like, necessary to establish dominance. If you think that, it kind of sounds like you’re bad at your job and are relying on cliches as crutches in place of actual dominance. Theory B: people are jealous that there’s a theoretical amount of sub money that’s not going to them. I personally think this is a pretty cynical way to look at things, but some cynicism in this space is probably necessary for survival. There is no such thing as a real life dominatrix who gets violently jealous or considers it an act of emotional cheating if someone books a session with a different dominatrix once in a while. There is no such thing as a doctor who complains on Facebook that a patient saw a specialist instead of paying them $300 to take care of the problem. See previous paragraph about how for the overwhelming majority of people, this is fundamentally a worker-client relationship. I suppose there’s a secret third thing: a dom has internally learned that this is the way a BDSM relationship is “supposed” to look, and it never occurred to them that it can not look like that and still be fun and profitable. If you’re in that group, hopefully I‘ve done an ok job of challenging that assumption!

This is your venting space for whatever is bothering you right now. Let it out! Doesn’t have to be related to kink or findom. ❤️

I’ll go first!

It took $65 to fill up my gas tank this afternoon. Absolutely ridiculous. Needless to say, I’m ready for the fucking revolution. 😃 I did some Pilates to try and decompress, and I guess it helped a little bit.

i’ve been in the longest reading slump of my life. i need some good book recommendations if any of you read :,) i’m into thriller, horror, mystery and dark romance. sometimes romantasy as well!

so many subs come to me saying they wanting long term dynamics and genuine connection, but then disappear the next day or deactivate out of nowhere. I genuinely don’t understand it.

Does this happen to other dommes too??

Im looking for active telegram findom groups, anyone got links?

Hello, hello! Back at it, I know I should be making some proper content (I want to, but work), and I prefer to get to know the dommes more first.

What are your favorite shows or video games? Genres that interest you, and ones that don’t?

My favorite shows on the top of my head are Love Island, The Amazing Digital Circus, and Glow Up. That’s how drastically different my interests go. 🤭

As for my games, I do play Fortnite a lot and love it! But when I see other YouTubers play games, I love funny, horror, and fantasy ones! Still Wakes The Deep was such a fun experience to see someone run around. Highly recommend!

should I ?

I’m always at home and the most I’ll do consistently is go grocery shopping.

Every few weeks, I always buy a crapload of distilled water jugs in bulk. I’m talking like up to 10 jugs if I can.

I had some store clerk ask me yesterday from down the aisle “do you need more of those water jugs?!” and I felt a little wave of embarrassment lmao

It’s mainly for drinking (as I’m used to having NOTHING in my water 😂)

But I also use it for all of my cooking, making DIY skincare and making my tea. The water in my area has been harsher than usual lately with getting the lines fixed up, and it’s one less thing to stress about when it comes to PFAs.

I eventually want to buy a full on water filter for the entire home, as adding an individual filter to every sink can get expensive changing all the filters. And making your own distilled water takes time that I don’t have.

I wonder if anyone else has that one household staple in their home that they just keep stocked at ALL TIMES. Even if you think it’s super small, weird or rare.

Cause if you see me with a receipt that just has a bunch of water, mind ya bidness 🤣